


Daddy, Please, No

by hunter_king



Series: Supernatural - Wincest [27]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Sam Winchester, Dubious Consent, M/M, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Self-Harm, Slash, Swearing, Top Dean Winchester/Bottom Sam Winchester, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 11:11:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 47,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16680514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunter_king/pseuds/hunter_king
Summary: After Mary's death, John is very lonely, and he can't help but notice how attracted he is to Sam (who is eight). So, feeling absolutely disgusted with himself, John attempts to drink his feelings away. But that doesn't help; only makes them stronger, and harder to control. One night, while he's drunk out of his mind, he goes into Sam's room and starts touching him. And once he's started, he does it every night, his actions getting bolder until he finally rapes Sam (who is now eleven). After the rape, Sam becomes anti-social, and jumpy. He won't let anyone but John touch him (only because he's scared to flinch away from John). Not even Dean. And Dean noticed it, and goes to investigate, trying to get Sam to open up to him. And when he doesn't, he scopes out his room at night, finally catching John in the act. Once John's been caught, Dean takes Sam and runs to Bobby's house, explaining the whole thing to the older hunter, so when John comes to retrieve his boys, Bobby tells him to get off his property before he gives him a third hole. Over the years, Sam develops an obsession with Dean because he was the one who saved him from their father.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the snpaubigbang challenge in February 2014  
> Beta'd by samanddeanfan1  
> Art by containerpink ([here](https://containerpark.livejournal.com/5265.html))

It was wrong – the way his body would react when he watched his youngest son run around and play with his older son. But it wasn’t his fault. His wife had died eight years ago in a fire and he missed her so much – God, he missed her so damn much. And Sammy just looked so much like her. Sure, Dean had her mouth and her eyes, but Sam had her facial structure and her amazing hair that John had loved so much.

And yes, he knew that Sam was his son and he was sick to even be thinking like this, but the life of a hunter was a lonely one and John just couldn’t help but see Mary every time he looked at his boy. And up until now, he had been really good at keeping his urges to himself. But it was getting harder – the drinks were flowing more freely and he couldn’t help himself. Each time he looked at his youngest, his desires grew. He wanted Sam, and he was only going to be able to hold off for so long.

Tonight was his breaking point. Dean was feeling a little under the weather, so John had given him some medicine that knocked the boy right out, leaving John and Sam awake together in the living room. Dean was sleeping soundly in his and Sam’s room, and John had Sam all to himself for the time being. Right now, they were watching some action movie on television that Sam seemed to like, so John just left it playing. He wasn’t really watching it anyway. He was more focused on Sam’s facial expressions – so much like Mary’s that it made John’s breath catch.

Finally, there was nothing he could do. His mind just blanked out and before he knew it, he was giving in to his dark urges. It started out slowly at first, John running his hand across Sam’s shoulders and carding his fingers through Sam’s hair. Innocent enough – until his hands slid down Sam’s arms and started rubbing over his boy’s belly. Sam didn’t seem to think anything of it, so John got bolder, one hand moving to cup Sam through the thin material of his sleep pants.

That got his son’s attention, the young boy frowning at his father as he looked up at him, his champagne hazel eyes meeting John’s. “Daddy, what are you doing?” he asked, obviously confused. Briefly, John wondered if Dean had told Sam about his “private parts” yet. Surely, John hadn’t had this conversation with his son, but there was no telling what he and Dean talked about while John was out hunting. But Sam was only eight – John highly doubted Dean would have had the conversation regarding where people should and shouldn’t be touching him yet.

“Shhh, Sammy, it’s okay,” John assured his son with a small shake of his head. “Just relax. Enjoy it. Everything’s fine, okay?” He nodded his encouragement and smiled when Sam seemed to believe him, although his son didn’t look too convinced. Still, John was his father and Sam trusted him, so John figured he could get away with this. That alone should have had John throwing himself off the couch and forcing himself to leave his son alone, but he just couldn’t – he wasn’t strong enough to stop.

Although he was only the ripe young age of eight, Sam knew this was wrong. Dean had once told him that people weren’t supposed to touch him unless he wanted it, and Sam didn’t want this. Sometimes, his body would react to touch like this and he knew it was wrong, but Dean had told him that it wasn’t his fault – just his body’s reaction to something that felt good. Sam didn’t know why this was happening now because he didn’t want his father to touch him this way. But then again, what was he going to do? He was just a kid and he didn’t want to upset his father by telling him to stop. After all, he rarely got to see John and he didn’t want to scare the man off when he seemed to want to actually hang out with Sam.

So he let it go, biting into his bottom lip when he felt his body responding. John seemed to really be into it now, his hand pressing down on his own hardness as he rubbed Sam through his pajamas a little rougher. Honestly, it hurt more than it felt good and luckily, Sam felt his erection dwindling slowly. Maybe if John realized that Sam wasn’t into it, he would stop. At least that’s what Sam was hoping for.

That wasn’t the case unfortunately. It was like John was completely disregarding Sam’s feelings and making himself the top priority. Sam didn’t know what to make of that. Usually, John put his and Dean’s needs in front of his own, and now it was like John didn’t even care about how Sam felt. He didn’t like it – he knew that for a fact. Sam just wanted it to stop. Subtly, he squirmed a little under John’s ministrations, trying to dislodge his father’s hand, though it only made the contact sharper, causing Sam to gasp a little.

John was almost there. He was just about to fall over the edge when his phone started chirping on the end table beside him. Quickly, he released both his own and Sam’s groins, grabbing his phone and answering it. “Yeah, Bobby, what is it?” he asked, pushing himself away from his seat with a small smile shot in Sam’s direction. His son didn’t know about hunting and the things that were out in the dark yet, and he intended to keep it that way.

As soon as John was out of the room, Sam shot off the couch like a bat out of Hell. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was planning on doing, but he knew he didn’t want to be on that couch when his father was off the phone because he didn’t want John to resume his earlier attentions. Before Sam knew what he was doing, he found himself in his and Dean’s room. Falling to his knees on the floor beside his brother’s bed, Sam shoved at Dean’s arm. He knew that Dean wasn’t feeling well, but he needed Dean to wake up.

When Dean didn’t stir the first time, Sam tried again, this time shaking his brother roughly. “Dean, wake up, please?!” Sam begged in a hushed whisper. After all, he didn’t want John to come in here and see that he was trying to wake his brother up. Dean was sick and John would probably yell at Sam for bothering him. But he didn’t know what else to do. When something bad happened, Sam turned to Dean for help – it had always been that way, and now was no different.

After the third try, Dean finally woke up, his eyes blinking open slowly as he slurred, “S’mmy? What’re you doin’ outta bed?” He was wide awake now – even if the medicine John had made him take earlier was making him feel a little hazy. When there was the possibility of Sam being in danger, nothing could keep Dean Winchester down. His hand reached out and pressed against Sam’s clammy forehead, a small sigh escaping Dean. “Did you have another nightmare?” he asked, a deep frown marring his features.

Not knowing what else to say without making Dean angry, Sam nodded. He often had nightmares about yellow eyes and the feeling like he was on fire, but he didn’t know why – he didn’t know what it meant. When that happened, he came to Dean’s bed and crawled into it in hopes of getting some sleep. Tonight, it wasn’t a nightmare plaguing him, but he could lie and say it was if it got him what he wanted. “Y-Yeah,” he whispered softly, nodding once more. “M’sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you. I was just hoping that…I could stay with you tonight.”

“Sammy, m’sick,” Dean muttered apologetically. He’d come down with a nasty flu a couple days ago and he was still getting over it. The last thing he wanted was to make Sam sick, too. But his brother was looking at him so expectantly and he didn’t want to turn his brother away after he’d just had a nightmare. And he had never been able to say no to Sam before – especially when he was using those damn puppy eyes.

Sighing, Dean pulled the blanket back and scooted towards the wall, making room for Sam. “Just make sure you lay on your side with your back facing me,” he instructed, maneuvering Sam around so he was the way Dean wanted him. “Don’t want to make you sick, too.” Sam was always such a pain in the ass when he was sick, and Dean didn’t want to deal with it. Well, that and he didn’t want to be the cause of Sam feeling uncomfortable. 

A few minutes after he got the call, John returned to the couch, intent of picking up where he and Sam had left off. However, when he got there, he frowned because Sam was no longer sitting there. Slowly, John made his way to Sam and Dean’s room, figuring that Sam had gone to bed finally. He knew that he couldn’t touch Sam while he was in the same room as Dean, but he could at least give his son a kiss good night. 

What he walked in on had unexpected anger boiling under his skin. Sam was curled up on his side with Dean’s arm slung over his hip, the older boy hugging Sam protectively against his body. John had never been so jealous of a twelve-year-old boy in his life than he was of his own son right now. The realization that he was getting pissed off at his son for being able to hold Sam close like that had John running to the kitchen sink to spill the contents of his stomach. He couldn’t believe that he had actually touched Sam like that. The boy was _eight fucking years old_! He had no right to touch his son in such a way.

Once he could stand without having to lean on the counter, John rinsed out his vomit from the sink and gargled some water before he grabbed his jacket and headed out of the apartment he was renting for them. He had no idea where he was going, but he knew that he needed to get out of there and get his head clear. A few blocks later, he found himself standing in front of a bar – almost as though it were fate. Sighing, he walked in, plopping onto one of the bar stools and ordering himself a stiff drink. After what he had just done, he needed it.

**~~**

After that first night – although John tried not to do it – he ended up touching Sam like that again almost every other week for the last two years. Every time he came back from a hunt, he’d wait for Dean to fall asleep before he would get Sam alone and touch him. Until now, it had always been above his clothes, but tonight John was venturing into new territory. It was getting harder and harder to stop at just touching, too. He was hoping that maybe feeling Sam’s flesh against his palm would make the urges to actually fuck his son die down.

Right now, he had Sam in his lap and he was tweaking his nipples under Sam’s shirt, trying to get his son worked up. He’d learned over the years that he preferred it when Sam was enjoying himself too. And although he wasn’t one hundred percent sure that Sam was consciously enjoying this or if his body was just reacting to stimuli, it was enough for John that Sam was getting wood. Honestly, he didn’t want to look into it much further than that because he wasn’t sure he would like what he found. 

He groaned softly as he felt his own dick twitching with interest where it was trapped within the confines of his boxers. John had tonight all planned out – he’d rented them a two-bedroom apartment and he was going to take advantage of that. Sure, he wasn’t going to take it any further than touching, but he was going to make the most of it. Tonight, he was going to strip his son down and make him go crazy with the feeling of pleasure John was going to dish out. “Feel so good, Sammy,” John moaned out in a gasped breath, his hand sliding down Sam’s chest to his abdomen.

Unable to wait any longer, John flipped Sam off his lap and onto his back on the mattress. Quickly, he blanketed his son’s small body, leaning down and pressing a firm kiss to Sam’s mouth. It was another first for them, but not something John was going to soon forget. Sam tasted so much like Mary – then again, maybe it was John’s imagination. Either way, he wanted more of that taste when he broke for air. “God Sam,” John breathed against his son’s lips. “So good, baby.”

Without hesitation, John pulled Sam’s shirt off his body, tossing it across the room and latching his lips onto one of Sam’s already teased nipples. He was becoming bolder, his hands sliding down Sam’s sides and tucking into the waistband of both Sam’s pajama bottoms and boxers, tugging that material off his son’s body and tossing it onto the growing pile of clothing on the floor.

As soon as he had Sam naked, John pulled back, quickly stripping himself out of his own clothing before blanketing Sam’s body once more. When their erections touched, John was lost, grinding his body down against Sam’s as soft panted moans and breaths escaped him. It wasn’t long before he was shooting cum all over his son’s belly and thighs, rolling off the mattress as soon as he was finished.

It didn’t even register in his mind that Sam needed cleaned up before John used his T-shirt to wipe himself clean and he got dressed. As soon as he had his clothes on, John was out of the room and leaving the apartment, needing to find a bar so he could drink himself into a stupor and hopefully forget about all of this in the morning.

Tears slid down his cheeks as he pushed himself off the mattress, Sam grabbing his own T-shirt and scrubbing his body down as best as he could. He wanted to get into his brother’s bed again so he would feel safe, but he knew he couldn’t go in there until he showered. Sam knew that the evidence of what had just happened had a distinct smell and if he went to sleep with Dean reeking of that scent, then his brother would know what had happened.

Part of Sam couldn’t remember why that was a bad thing. Sure, his father had always told him to be quiet and that it was their little secret – he said that Dean wouldn’t understand. But Sam wasn’t an idiot. He knew that the only reason John said that was because he didn’t want Dean to know what he had been doing to him. But John also told him that if Dean knew, he would hate Sam, and that was a risk that Sam wasn’t willing to take.

Climbing into the shower, Sam made sure to keep the hot water turned up so high that he could barely stand it. But he needed it that way – it was the only thing that was going to clean away the foul smell of what his father had forced him to do. It had never gone that far before tonight. Sam had been scared and confused, but he didn’t want to upset his father and tell him no. The last time he’d done that, John threatened to leave him and move on to Dean, and that was the last thing Sam wanted. If there was something – _anything_ – he could do to make sure his brother was safe, Sam was going to do it.

Only when the water ran cold did Sam finally climb out of the shower, his skin glowing a bright pink from how roughly he had scrubbed himself. He wasted no time getting dressed into clean pajamas before he was on his knees in front of Dean’s bed again, shoving at his brother’s arm in an attempt to wake the older boy up. 

Dean didn’t hesitate as he pulled Sam under the covers, holding the younger man protectively as Sam fell asleep in his arms. It seemed like Sam’s nightmares were getting worse and Dean didn’t know what to do. So, he reverted back to doing things he knew how to handle – like holding Sam and letting his cry softly into his chest until he fell back asleep. At least once he was in Dean’s bed, Sam’s nightmares seemed to stop, so Dean figured he was doing something right.

That night when John finally stumbled back into the apartment, drunk off his rocker, he felt that same anger boiling in his gut when he saw Sam curled up against Dean sleeping so soundly. It became obvious to him then that even after what had happened tonight, Sam still wasn’t aware of who he belonged to. John was just going to have to show him that he was his and not Dean’s. After all, John had lost the one person in his life who had meant the world to him because of Sam and his son owed everything to him because of it. And John would be damned if he let Sam be comforted by Dean after he got done with him. Next time, John was going to make sure that Sam slept in his own bed afterwards. All it would take was an empty threat about hurting Dean and Sam would be eating out of the palm of his hand.

**~~**

It was a whole year later that John finally just stopped trying to control his urges. He’d just gotten home from a bad hunt and Sam was there alone because Dean had been out on a date. John knew how his oldest son was with the ladies, so he figured that a fifteen-year-old Dean with a girl could have his eldest out all night, giving John the perfect opportunity to have what he wanted. 

His youngest son was now eleven and he was going to finally go all the way with him. And there wasn’t anything anyone could do about it. Sam was sitting at the table doing his homework when John came up behind him and started rubbing his shoulders. He felt his son instantly tense, but he didn’t stop. It wasn’t like Sam could make him do anything he didn’t want to, so he had free reign here. Leaning in, John whispered in Sam’s ear, “Stop whatever you’re doing and get into my room. Strip down and wait for me there, boy. Do you understand?”

Although Sam wanted to tell John no – to leave him the hell alone – he didn’t. Instead, Sam moved to do as he was told, his hands shaking so badly that he almost couldn’t unzip his jeans. The last time John had rubbed himself off against Sam, he had been so rough about it that Sam felt like he’d chafed. Really, the only good thing about the last time had been that Sam hadn’t come – at least he didn’t have to feel sick because of his body’s traitorous reactions to his father’s touch.

Nothing could have prepared Sam for what his father had planned for him tonight, though. John wasted no time getting his own clothes off and forcing his way on top of Sam, wrestling his son’s body until Sam was flat on his belly with his face pressed into the pillow. Sam fought John as much as he could but he couldn’t stop it, screaming in pain when John thrust into his body in one go. He could only focus on the pain as his father continued to move above him, holding Sam down and shushing him, not even caring that he was hurting the young boy.

It felt like it lasted forever, though one glance at the clock let Sam know only about twenty minutes had gone by. His father rolled off him as soon as he had come, Sam feeling the sticky wetness leaking from his body and coating his thighs. He cringed away from John’s touch when the older man tried to comb his fingers through Sam’s sweat-damp hair, causing John to get rough with him. His hand buried itself in Sam’s hair, yanking his son’s head backwards so he was forced to look at John. “You do _not_ flinch away from Sam!” John hissed in Sam’s ear. “Do you understand me?”

A shocked gasp of pain escaped Sam when John treated him so roughly, the younger man giving his head the best nod he could manage with his hair caught in John’s grasp like that. More tears slid unbidden down Sam’s cheeks as he lay on the bed as still as he possibly could. Eventually, John fell asleep and Sam could silently slip from the mattress, moving instantly to the shower. Again, he had the hot water turned up as high as he could stand, his hands once again shaking as he scrubbed the filth off his body.

By the time Sam slunk out of the shower, the water was stone cold and he was shivering, his body scrubbed raw. Normally, he would have climbed into Dean’s bed after something like this, but John had made it clear what would happen if he saw Sam in the bed with his brother again. And Sam would be damned if he was going to subject Dean to the same pain he had just been forced to face. 

Instead, Sam glanced at his brother’s sleeping form, figuring Dean must have snuck into the apartment while he was in the shower, and gave a small frown. He wanted to just slide into Dean’s bed and forget about everything else, but he couldn’t. Sam fought the urge that was almost overwhelming in favor of his brother’s safety and slept in his own bed. Of course, it was anything but peaceful – he was plagued by nightmares and the feel of hands all over his body.

About three hours of tossing and turning, Sam woke with a start, pushing at the phantom hands he could still feel touching him. The sun was up and it was time for him to get out of bed already. After all, he hadn’t had time to finish his homework the night before when John came home and he needed to have it done before he went to school. He made sure to be quiet as he slipped from his bed, tiptoeing out of the room and checking to make sure John was already gone. Luckily, it looked like John had slipped out in the middle of the night like he usually did, the knowledge allowing Sam to breathe a little more easily.

One hour later, Sam was ready for school, sitting on the couch and waiting for Dean to get ready as well. After all, his brother would freak if he walked to school alone. It hurt to sit in one position for too long, and Sam wondered if maybe he should just stay home from school today. But he didn’t want his brother to get suspicious, so he decided that he might as well go. A suspicious Dean was never something Sam wanted snooping around. If Dean found out what had happened – what would probably happen again – Sam didn’t know what he would do.

Right now, the best option was to act as though nothing had happened. Sam was hoping that he could stop it from happening again, but he wasn’t so naïve to believe that it was actually going to happen. Still, he would take care of it – he’d deal with it if he had to as long as it meant Dean was going to be left in the dark. If Dean found out, Sam knew things would never be the same between them again.

That thought scared Sam more than the realization that his father was never going to stop.


	2. Chapter 2

Something was bothering Sam – Dean didn’t know what it was, but he knew there was something. And it wasn’t something new either – this had been going on for several months now and he wanted to know what the hell was eating at his little brother. Every time he asked though, he got the same answer; “Nothing Dean, I’m fine. Just drop it.”

But Dean didn’t want to drop it. He didn’t believe Sam. Everything wasn’t fine and he wanted to know what it was. Sam had been acting differently the last few months – he wouldn’t let Dean touch him at all for the most part. When something happened to him and Dean thought his brother needed to be comforted, Sam would pull away from him, flinching as though he was afraid Dean was going to do something to him. That wasn’t the Sam he knew, and he wanted to know what had his brother so spooked.

Even at school, Sam was different. The kid didn’t talk to anyone – even his teachers. Not that Sam had been a social butterfly before, but he at least talked to a few people at each school. Now, Sam kept to himself and didn’t participate in class. To say Dean was worried would have been an understatement. He was going to try one more time to get his brother to open up and if that didn’t work, then he was going to start investigating a little more. And if that meant scoping out Sam’s every move, Dean was going to do it.

“Hey Sammy, how was school?” Dean asked as he walked towards his brother, a small smile on his lips. He went to wrap an arm around Sam’s neck in a welcoming hug, but Sam ducked away, flinching slightly as Dean’s hand connected with his own thigh, making a loud slapping noise. “Okay,” Dean sighed, moving in front of Sam to get the younger boy to stop moving. “What happened? What’s wrong with you?” Before Sam could answer, Dean held up his index finger, pointing it at Sam. “And don’t say ‘nothing’ because I know you’re lying.”

Dean caught Sam off guard when he stopped him, the younger Winchester frowning softly. He wanted to tell Dean the truth so badly, but he was worried that it might get his brother in trouble. That was the absolute last thing he wanted. So he had to keep lying to Dean. It was the only way he knew for sure that he could protect him. “Dean,” he sighed, giving his head a small shake. “I’m just tired, okay? It’s been a long week and I have a lot of homework to do when I get home. Can we please just go?”

The obvious pleading eyes Sam was giving Dean turned out to be his breaking point. Sam didn’t want to talk about it – fine. Dean would let him have what he wanted – let Sam keep his secrets. For now, anyway. But tonight, Dean was going to find out what had been bothering his brother if it was the last thing he did. Right now though, he was going to let Sam go home and get his homework done. For some reason, Sam was anal about schoolwork and shit like that. Apparently, Sammy planned on going to college and making something of his life.

That night, Dean made his move. Making sure that their bedroom window was unlatched so he could easily get back into the room, Dean headed out to the living room and smiled at his brother. “All right Sammy, I’m outta here,” he explained, pulling on his leather jacket. “Got a hot date tonight with that girl from my math class – you know the one with the parents who are always outta town.” He waggled his eyebrows at his brother to let Sam know where this was going, knowing he had to make Sam believe that he was actually going to be gone tonight. “Don’t wait up for me, okay?”

When he received the nod from his brother, Dean smiled, leaving the apartment building and sneaking around back. Once he made it to the window he’d unlatched, Dean quietly opened the window and snuck into the room. As soon as he was inside, he climbed under the bed, waiting for Sam to call it a night. After all, whatever was happening to him, it had to be after he was in bed. Otherwise, Dean would have seen the whole thing and he wouldn’t be wondering why his brother was doing everything in his power to pull away from him.

Unfortunately, there was nothing to keep him entertained under the bed, the dark room causing Dean’s eyelids to droop as he fought to stay awake. Eventually, boredom and exhaustion won out, Dean falling asleep against his will before Sam even came into the bedroom for the night.

**~~**

About four hours after Dean left, John stumbled into the apartment, his eyes scanning the place for his youngest son. It was late, so John figured Sam had gone to bed already. But that wasn’t enough to keep him away from Sam tonight. John was leaving on a hunt in the morning and he wanted to have a go at Sam before he left so he could have that to remember while he was gone. Sometimes, he thought about just hanging it up and staying with Sam all of the time because he hated being away from the younger man – but then he remembered that the thing that killed his beloved Mary – the thing that turned him into the monster he was today – was still out there, and he wanted it dead more than he wanted to be with Sam all of the time.

Moving towards Sam’s bedroom door, John gently pushed it open, smirking when he saw that Dean’s bed was empty. His eldest boy probably had another date tonight, which worked in John’s favor. That meant he had Sam all to himself for a while. The last time Dean had a date, he hadn’t come back until after John had left to get wasted at another bar and he was assuming it was going to be the same tonight.

He stripped off his clothing before he climbed into the bed with Sam, shushing his son when the boy stirred. “Daddy’s here, baby,” he whispered softly as he started taking Sam’s clothes off. Once they were both naked, John wasted no time slipping into his boy’s body, grunting in pleasure as he was surrounded by the tight heat. It didn’t take long before he was coming, moaning Sam’s name as he did so. John then took a few minutes to compose himself before he flopped out of the bed, grabbing his clothes as he headed out of the room, ready to find the closest bar where he could get himself wasted before his hunt the next day.

Dean, who had woken up just as his father’s feet hit the floor as he was climbing out of the bed, couldn’t breathe. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what had just taken place. A part of him didn’t want to believe that his father could do something like this. But the evidence was right there. He had seen his father’s bare ass as he walked out of this room and he heard his whispered words to Sam that it was their little secret.

The older Winchester kept himself hidden under the bed until Sam rolled off the bed and limped to the bathroom, the sound of the shower running signaling that it was safe for Dean to move. His body was vibrating with rage as he paced the small space between his and Sam’s beds. He wanted to follow after John and kick the shit out of him for hurting Sam. His brother hadn’t deserved something like that! Sam was an innocent kid and John had hurt him! 

But Dean knew he couldn’t leave Sam. He needed to be here when Sam got out of that shower so he could let Sam know that the secret was out – he knew everything and they were going to talk about this. And once they talked about it, they were leaving. Dean knew his father – John was at a bar right now probably drinking himself into a stupor and then he was going to pass out in his car. After that, he was going to head straight for his next hunt, leaving Sam and Dean alone once more.

Only this time when John came back, he and Sam weren’t going to be here waiting for him. Dean may not have been able to prevent this from happening to his baby brother, but he was going to make damn sure it never happened again. Whipping out his cell phone, Dean dialed a familiar number, not caring that it was two in the morning in South Dakota right now. All he was worried about was getting things set up for him and Sam when they left.

He heard the gruff voice on the other line, the older hunter sounding pissed off and worried at the same time. “Bobby, hey, it’s Dean. M’sorry to call so late, but there’s an emergency. Nothing too serious for right now, but Sammy and I are going to be heading your way first thing in the morning and I just didn’t want you to be surprised when you saw us on your doorstep in a couple of days.”

“Why Dean?” Bobby asked, glancing at the clock with a small yawn. “What’s goin’ on? Is yer Daddy in some kind of trouble?” It wouldn’t surprise Bobby – John Winchester was known for getting himself into trouble. “Or is he comin’ with you boys?”

Oh yeah, John was in trouble, but not the kind that Bobby was thinking. “No, he’s not going to be coming with us,” Dean all but snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. He was starting to get a headache. Hearing the shower water turn off, Dean glanced at the bathroom door, giving his head a small shake although he knew Bobby couldn’t see him. “Listen Bobby, I’ll explain everything to you when we get there, okay. Just don’t tell our dad about this. Promise me?”

Although now Bobby was really worried that something bad was going on, he knew he wasn’t going to get much out of Dean right now. He was too tired to argue with the boy anyway. “All right,” he sighed. “I won’t tell John we had this conversation. I promise.” After a quick thanks, Dean hung up the phone before Bobby could even say good-bye, the older hunter frowning at the phone once more before he placed it back on the nightstand and flopped onto his back. He didn’t have high hopes of getting back to sleep now that he had already been disturbed, but he was going to try anyways.

As soon as Sam came out of the bathroom – already dressed in his boxer shorts and a baggy T-shirt – Dean strode over to him purposefully and pulled him into a full body hug. He ignored the way Sam’s body tensed and just pulled Sam against him tighter, not willing to let go. “I’m so sorry Sammy,” Dean whispered into his brother’s neck, feeling tears pricking his eyes. God, he couldn’t believe he had let this happen.

Sam’s body went as stiff as a board when Dean apologized to him. Why was he apologizing? Did he know? There was no way that Dean knew. How would he have found out?! Sam hadn’t said anything, and he highly doubted that John would have spilled the beans about something like that. “What are you talking about?” Sam asked, pushing Dean away from him and moving to sit on his bed. “I’m tired, Dean. I don’t have time for whatever game you’re trying to play here, okay? There’s a huge test in my History class tomorrow that I’ve been studying for all night practically and I just want to go to sleep.”

Anger briefly shot through Dean when Sam tried to push this off as being nothing. It was a huge something and he wasn’t going to let Sam lie to him about it anymore. “You don’t have to worry about your test tomorrow Sam because we’re leaving this town. Tomorrow morning, first thing – we’re out of here. I already called Bobby and he knows we’re coming.” This wasn’t up for discussion. Sam could try to lie to him about this all he wanted, but they were leaving their father, and that was final.

Another frown came to Sam’s lips when Dean explained that they were leaving. “I thought Dad was going on a hunt tomorrow Dean. We’re supposed to stay here until he gets back unless something happens.” Those were the rules – they were always the rules. When they weren’t at school or getting food from the diner, they were to stay in the apartment with the salt lines checked every half hour and the doors and windows locked. Surely, Dean knew that.

Again, Dean started to get frustrated with his brother. Sam needed to just stop playing around and let Dan help him. “I know, Sam,” Dean explained, his voice barely a whisper. In one swift motion, he was kneeling on the floor in front of Sam, his brother’s legs framed between Dean’s arms where his hands rested against the mattress on either side of Sam. “I saw him leaving the room…naked. I know what he did to you, okay?” When Sam ducked his head and tried to hide from Dean, the older boy cupped his brother’s cheek, forcing Sam to look at him once more.

The tears in Sam’s eyes had Dean’s heart clenching. This was his fault. He hadn’t done his job – he hadn’t protected Sam and this is what had come of it. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered again, pressing his forehead against Sam’s. “I should have been lookin’ out for you. That’s my job.” It had been drilled into his head ever since he was old enough to hold a gun, dammit. Of course, he hadn’t thought that he would need to protect Sam from John, but that was the case, and he was going to rise to the occasion.

“Dean, this isn’t your fault,” Sam assured his brother with a shake of his head. This wasn’t anyone’s fault other than John’s. Sam had been watching some videos on the internet, trying to figure out why he had been attacked and what he could have done differently to prevent this. And in all of those videos, he’d learned that they had one thing in common – the only person who was to blame was the perp; everyone else was a victim. And in Sam’s mind, that included Dean as well. 

He wanted to believe that, but Dean just couldn’t. This was on him and he was going to take responsibility. “Doesn’t matter,” he finally mumbled, giving his head a small shake. “We’re not staying here with him. He can come back to an empty apartment and worry his ass off about where we are because you and I are gonna head out to Bobby’s house tomorrow morning.” John had left the Impala here in favor of taking the truck, so Dean was going to take the Impala and get them out of here. Sighing, Dean tapped Sam’s knee before he pushed himself to his feet. “You should get some rest, Sammy. We have a long drive ahead of us tomorrow.”

Before Dean could get too far away from him, Sam grabbed his brother’s wrist, refusing to let him leave him. “Will you stay with me tonight?” Sam all but begged, using his puppy eyes to his advantage. Sam knew that his brother could never resist him when he pulled out those eyes. And now that he knew they were getting away from John – getting somewhere safe for both of them – Sam didn’t care if he had Dean hold him during the night.

Over the last few months when he hadn’t been able to take comfort in his brother’s warm embrace, Sam hadn’t been sleeping too well. He wasn’t kidding every time he told Dean that he was tired. Really, he was – among the other things that he was trying to keep from Dean. But he didn’t have to lie anymore, and Sam felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Dean knew the truth now and Sam was convinced that he was safe again. Dean wasn’t going to let John hurt him again – he proved that by calling Bobby right away and getting them set up at his house.

A wide smile came to Dean’s lips when Sam asked him to stay with him tonight. He thought he’d never get to hold his brother’s body close to him again. Sure, they were getting a little old for this, but given the circumstances of what his brother had just gone through, Dean didn’t see a problem with offering the younger man a little bit of comfort. After all, if Sam was asking for it, then he must have needed it pretty badly since he hadn’t really been coming to Dean for comfort the last few months.

Without hesitation, Dean climbed into the bed when Sam scoot over to offer him some room. “Of course I’ll stay with you,” Dean assured his brother, tossing the blanket over both of their bodies before he pressed a kiss to Sam’s forehead. He wasn’t going to let anything happen to Sam ever again. Now that he knew he was the only one who could be trusted with Sam’s safety in their family, he was going to make sure he took his job more seriously. When they got to Bobby’s house, it would be easier to keep Sam safe, but until then, Dean had to be on guard. After all, he wasn’t entirely sure John wasn’t going to come back tonight.

Luckily, John stayed away and Sam managed to get some sleep. The kid needed it, after all. Dean had no idea if Sam had even been sleeping over the last few months, but he was going to make sure to remedy that now. As long as they were out of this apartment long before John came back, Dean didn’t care if brother caught a few extra hours of shut eye.

**~~**

They were on the road by eight o’clock in the morning, Dean having ordered Sam to pack his shit so they could get out of there. He could tell that his brother was exhausted, but Dean didn’t have time to worry about that right now. Sam could sleep in the car because they were getting out of there. Once they were packed, Dean grabbed the keys to the Impala and took their duffel bags to the car while Sam finished his breakfast. Dean took the liberty of calling the school and explaining to the principal that they were moving again and he would call for their transcripts when they were settled down at their next location. The nice old woman on the telephone didn’t even know that she was talking to Dean instead of John.

When that was finished, Dean loaded Sam up into the car, peeling out of the parking lot and heading towards Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Since they were in Salem, Oregon, it was going to take almost a day to get to Bobby, so Dean knew they were going to have to find a motel somewhere along the way. But he planned on driving as long as he could before that happened. The faster they got to Bobby’s house, the better he was going to feel. After all, he was only fifteen – sure, he’d be turning sixteen in a couple of months, but he wasn’t equipped to deal with his eleven year old brother’s demons alone like this. Bobby would be able to help – the older man was able to fix everything, and Dean knew he could do the same for Sam.

Finally, they got to their destination about a day and a half later. They’d ended up stopping at a motel in North Dakota for the night before they finished up the drive to Bobby’s salvage yard. Dean made sure to park the Impala out of sight in case there were any prying eyes over the course of their stay, his hands shaking slightly as he cut the engine and turned his attention to Sam. He wasn’t even sure if Sam remembered Bobby – they hadn’t seen the older man in a while because the last time they’d met, John had managed to piss Bobby off. He had that effect on a lot of people and now Dean could understand why. Obviously, John was a sick, fucked up person who got off on hurting other people.

It was no wonder John was such a good hunter if that’s what he liked to do. Hunting involved hurting things – granted, they were evil things that attacked and killed innocent people, but they were still being hurt. And Dean had never really understood the look of pure adrenaline and thrill in his father’s eyes after a hunt. Not until now, anyway.

Just thinking about what John had done to his brother made Dean want to start the Impala again and haul ass to wherever the hell John was headed so he could give him a piece of his mind. After all, it wouldn’t be hard to track the older man down if he still had his cell phone with him. Even Sam could run a trace with a phone’s GPS – it wasn’t that hard as long as the person operating the computer had been properly trained.

But he knew that he couldn’t. Right now he had to focus on Sam. The boy was obviously damaged after what happened, and Dean couldn’t blame him. He had to fix this. He needed to get his brother back to the smiling innocent he’d been at the beginning of the year, otherwise he would never be able to forgive himself. If he wasn’t so worried about losing the only family he had left, Dean would have taken Sam to someone for professional help, but he couldn’t. If anyone else found out about this – with the exception of Bobby, because Dean knew he was going to have to spill the beans in order to keep Sam safe – someone would try to take Sam away from him.

The only way anyone was going to get his brother away from him was if they pried Sam out of Dean’s cold, dead hands. He’d die before he let anyone get their filthy hands on his brother ever again. From now on, Dean was going to make Sam his everything – more so than he had before. He didn’t care if that meant he wasn’t going to be able to go out and make out with hot chicks all of the time, or if it meant he couldn’t hunt on his own like John had promised when he became old enough. All that mattered was looking after Sam.

Sighing, Dean pocketed the keys and pushed his door open, climbing out of the car. “C’mon, Sammy,” he instructed, moving to the trunk and grabbing their duffels before he took Sam’s hand and led them to the front door. He raised his hand and knocked a few times before he placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder instead of in Sam’s own. After all, Dean was fifteen and Sam was eleven – Bobby might get suspicious if he saw them holding hands. And Dean didn’t want to tell Bobby in front of his brother what had happened. Dean could only imagine how ashamed Sam was because of what happened – he didn’t want to make it worse by forcing him to hear about it while he told the story to Bobby.

After a few moments, the door opened, revealing a haggard looking Bobby Singer. The man looked like he hadn’t slept right in a few days and Dean couldn’t help but think he might have been the cause of that. Last night when they checked into the motel room, he had planned on calling Bobby, but Sam had been having a bad nightmare and Dean decided to curl up with his brother instead. And although he hadn’t meant to fall asleep before picking up the phone and telling Bobby that they were all right and should be there soon, exhaustion won out and he had been asleep before he knew it.

Bobby quickly ushered them both inside, closing the door behind him as he gave Dean a small, confused look. He was expecting an explanation about what was going on and he figured that he’d get a better one from a fifteen year old over an eleven year old. “I have the guest room all set up for the two’a ya,” Bobby explained softly, keeping a close eye on Dean. The boy looked even worse than him, so Bobby had a feeling that something was up. And the fact that John wasn’t here with them only added to his suspicions. “There’s only one bed, but I didn’t think you boys would mind.” They had never cared before when they had spent the night at Uncle Bobby’s house, after all.

“No, that’s great Bobby, thanks,” Dean answered with a small, grateful smile. He actually felt a little better knowing that he and Sam were going to be sharing the same bed. At least then he would know if something bad was happening to his brother. Glancing down at Sam, Dean frowned when he noticed that his little brother still seemed like he was suffering from the long car ride – he looked exhausted, and Dean just wanted to get him into their room so Sam could take a nap. “Uh, c’mon Sammy, let’s go unpack,” he suggested, shooting Bobby a look that promised he would explain everything later as he led Sam towards the stairs.

Once he had Sam in the room, he suggested, “Why don’t you just lie down for a while, huh? Bobby and I gotta talk about some things and you look like you’re ready to fall over.” He hated that Sam looked so worn out at such a young age. His father had done this to his brother, and he was never letting that monster near his Sammy again. And Sam was his – from the day John put Sam in his arms and told him to take Sam outside, Sam had been his. There was nothing John or anyone could do about it either. 

Although Sam was tired, he didn’t really want to be alone. Now that John wasn’t around to hurt him, he thought that he would feel safer, but he didn’t. There was the fear that John was going to come after them and he would take Sam away from Dean and he just didn’t want to think about it. “Dean, I don’t want to sleep right now,” he whispered softly, giving his head a small shake. “I can’t. I-I have homework that needs done.”

Homework? Really? Sam couldn’t possibly think that they were going back to Oregon so he had to get his homework done! Of course, knowing Sam, this was just a coping mechanism. So, he let it slide this time, watching as his little brother started pulling books and folders from his bag, laying them all out neatly on the bed so he could get to work. “Okay Sammy,” he smiled softly, carding his fingers through Sam’s hair. His smile only widened when he realized that Sam didn’t flinch away from him. “I’ma go talk to Bobby for a little while, okay?” he explained, allowing his hand to slip away from Sam.

When he got into the kitchen again, Bobby had already opened a cold one for him and he was sitting at the table waiting expectantly for an explanation. Dean gladly took the offered beer and flopped down into the chair across from Bobby. Honestly, he didn’t even know where to start, so he bought himself some time by taking a long swig from his bottle. This was unknown territory for him and he had no idea how to go about this. After all, he’d never gone through anything like this before, nor had he known of anyone else in his life who had. 

After what seemed like forever, Bobby finally started the conversation, figuring that if something was wrong, he wasn’t sure if Dean would openly give up the information. “So, you gonna tell me what’s goin’ on, son?” he asked, eyeing Dean warily. Obviously, there was something wrong and Bobby was really getting curious. “And where’s yer Daddy at? I thought for sure that he would’a come with you boys.”

Dean hadn’t planned on just blurting it out, but when Bobby asked about his father, Dean couldn’t help it. As far as he was concerned, John Winchester was no longer his father. He was the monster who hurt Sammy, and that was all Dean was ever going to see him as from here on out. “John Winchester isn’t my father,” Dean growled, his voice low and dangerous.

“What are you talkin’ about, boy?” Bobby asked, taken aback slightly. Dean had always admired his father. If something had happened to change that, it had to have been something major. Now, Bobby was really worried.

Angrily, Dean pushed out of his seat, trying to keep his voice down so he didn’t upset Sam. “You heard me, Bobby!” he replied. “John’s not my dad! He’s nothing but a fucking monster and I’m not allowing him anywhere near me or Sammy!” Again, Bobby stared at him like he had grown a second head and Dean couldn’t help but sag back into his seat, picking at the label on his beer bottle. “He raped Sam,” he all but whispered, feeling his insides roll at the realization that he couldn’t protect his brother from that.


	3. Chapter 3

“He did what?!” Bobby asked, shocked. For a minute, he didn’t think that he’d heard Dean the right way. Surely, John Winchester would never hurt his sons like that. It had to be a mistake. Dean had to be wrong about something there – confused about an aspect of what happened! Bobby had known John for years, and he would have never pegged him as a pedophile.

Dean really didn’t want to have to repeat himself. “You heard what I said,” he assured the older hunter, frowning at him for even thinking that he was going to repeat it. “He hurt Sam. And I’m not going to let him get anywhere near him again.” Bobby was the only other man Dean was going to let near Sam for a long time. Right now, he didn’t care that Sam needed to be in school – Bobby could tutor him until Dean felt safe letting him out of his sight again, or something. 

Yeah, he’d heard him. “How long has he been doin’ it?” Bobby asked, knowing that it was a tough thing for Dean to talk about, but he needed to know. It just wasn’t registering in his head that his old friend could hurt his son in this way. No one should ever touch a child in that manner, and to hear that someone he associated with had been the abuser – it was hard to swallow.

Shaking his head, Dean gave a small shrug. “I don’t know,” he honestly answered. “At least a couple of months, I’m guessing. I saw that Sammy was…he was changing, and I kept askin’ him what was wrong, but he didn’t tell me.” He could fear his rage boiling inside him again and Dean was once again hit with the urge to go after John. “So last night I hid under the bed and tried to figure it out. I fucking fell asleep! When I woke up, John was sneaking out of the room and pulling his clothes back on. After that, I let Sam catch a few hours of sleep and then we hightailed it here.”

It was obvious that this was a very painful subject for Dean. Bobby didn’t want to talk about it more than they had to. “Well, you did the right thing in coming here,” Bobby assured the younger man. “I won’t let him get anywhere near the two’a ya as long as yer with me.” He placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder and gave it a small squeeze, offering comfort any way he could. This was obviously very hard on Dean – the kid was blaming himself; Bobby could see that in his eyes. “So, where’s Sam?”

His eyes shot towards the stairs as he explained, “He’s upstairs. I tried to get him to go to bed, but he wouldn’t. So, he’s doing homework.” Dean merely shrugged when Bobby gave him a look, figuring the older hunter was assuming the same thing Dean had assumed when he first heard Sam explain that he was going to do it. “We, uh, we’re gonna have to talk about what happens now. I just…I don’t even know where to start with him, ya know?”

Another small frown came to Bobby’s lips at Dean’s words. “Well, Sioux Falls has a great school system,” he explained, figuring that Sam and Dean needed to jump right back in it and finish up their schooling. Dean was already in high school and Sam was a bright kid with a bright future ahead of him from what Bobby could tell. “We can get you boys enrolled tomorrow and you can be in class by Monday.”

Although he wanted to keep Sam close, Dean knew that he couldn’t keep Sam out of school. It was illegal, and it could get Bobby into a lot of trouble. And it wasn’t like Bobby was just squatting here while he was on a hunt – this was his home, and the last thing Dean wanted was to cause trouble for him while they were guests here. No matter how much the thought of being separated from Sam for eight hours made his stomach roll. “Okay Bobby,” Dean muttered absentmindedly, glancing at the staircase once more. He wanted to be next to Sam.

A small frown once again came to Bobby’s lips when he saw that Dean had his eyes glued to the stairs. If he wanted to be with Sam so badly, Bobby wasn’t going to keep him down here. He’d learned enough in the last ten minutes to realize why Dean was here and why he was so adamant about not letting John know where they were. And Bobby was going to be true to his word – he’d keep their whereabouts safe. 

Sighing, Bobby pushed himself out of his seat, downing the rest of his beer and tossing the bottle in the trash. “Why don’t you go ahead and unpack – make yourselves comfortable,” Bobby suggested, giving Dean a small, knowing smile. “I’ll clean up a bit down here and get dinner started. Burgers and fries sound good?”

After shooting Bobby a quick nod, Dean headed up the stairs and into the guest room where he’d left Sam. The younger man was right where Dean left him, on the bed doing his homework. From what Dean could tell, Sam had moved on from math to science and he was completely engrossed in his books. He didn’t even stop working when Dean came into the room. “Hey Sammy,” he greeted softly, moving so that he could kneel on the floor beside the bed, fingers carding through Sam’s shaggy hair once more.

What Dean didn’t know when he walked in was that Sam wasn’t actually reading his assignment like he was supposed to be doing. Instead, his mind was trapped in a world that only he could see – his ears ringing with words that only he could hear. _”Such a good baby boy for me, aren’t ya Sammy? So good for Daddy.”_

When Dean’s fingers carded in his hair, Sam jumped slightly, his eyes scanning the room wildly before landing on Dean once more. He hated that Dean looked so worried about him now that he knew the truth. “Hi,” he whispered softly, biting into his bottom lip as he fought to hold back the tears that wanted to fall down his cheeks. Sam still thought that his father was going to come for him and force them to go back. After all, they weren’t old enough to be on their own, and legally Bobby had no right to look after them. If John wanted them back, he could get them.

Dean instantly saw that something was bothering Sam and he wanted to take that fear away. “Hey, what’s wrong, huh?” he asked, his hand sliding from Sam’s hair to cup his brother’s cheek. “You can tell me, you know that right, Sammy?” he whispered, head tilting to the side a little as he waited for his answer. “You can tell me anything.”

“I’m scared, Dean,” Sam finally answered, his chin quivering as he allowed a year of pent up emotions to finally burst free. The tears he’d been trying to hold back welled up to the point where they started sliding down his cheeks, Sam pushing himself off the mattress a little so he could wrap his arms around Dean’s neck and bury his face against Dean’s skin. “I’m so scared.”

His arms were immediately around Sam, Dean standing for a minute so he could get on the bed and hold his brother in his lap. “Shhh…Sammy, s’ok,” Dean whispered into Sam’s ear, making soft cooing noises that always seemed to soothe Sam when he was younger – before he started keeping Dean at a distance. “There’s nothin’ to be scared of, okay? I’m not going to let John get near you again, do you hear me?”

He wanted to believe Dean, but Sam was finding it increasingly hard to do so. There was really nothing Dean could do about it if John wanted to take Sam back. After all, Dean wasn’t Sam’s legal guardian either and John could take him whenever he pleased. And worse, he was still Dean’s legal guardian as well, so he could also have Dean back. Sam didn’t want anything bad to happen to Dean because he had spilled the beans and Dean knew now. That was his worst nightmare, and Sam thought for sure it was going to come true. “Can’t stop him, Dean,” Sam muttered softly, his grip on Dean tightening.

Bullshit. Dean didn’t care what he had to do – he wasn’t going to let John get his hands on Sam. And he knew that Bobby was going to back him up as well. The older hunter felt the same way about John now – Dean could see it in his eyes when they were talking. “Watch me,” Dean whispered into his brother’s hair, tugging Sam so that he was sitting more comfortably on his lap. “I’m not letting him get his filthy hands on you again.” Although he didn’t say it, Dean knew that if John tried anything, he would kill him before he hurt Sam again.

The fierce protection and love Sam saw in his brother’s eyes was enough to take his breath away. He didn’t know what to make of the way his heart was suddenly pounding in his chest, or the way his breathing had hitched up a few notches. But Sam didn’t want to think about it right now. He was tired, and now that Dean was in the room, Sam thought that he might actually be able to get some sleep. “M’tired,” Sam mumbled softly, nuzzling in closer to his brother, feeling safe for the first time in months.

It came as no surprise to Dean that his brother was tired. The kid had been through so much in the last few days – the last few _months_ even – that Dean was surprised his brother hadn’t just passed out and slept for a week. “Why don’t you get some sleep?” Dean suggested, trying to scoot Sam off his lap so the younger man could catch some shut eye. After all, Dean had to unpack their duffel bags and get the room set up the way he wanted it before Sam added all of his geeky touches. “I’ll wake you up when Bobby has dinner ready.”

But Sam wasn’t getting off Dean’s lap, causing the older Winchester to frown. “Sleep with me,” Sam insisted, resuming the more comfortable position in his brother’s lap before Dean started nudging him off. “Don’t know if I can sleep alone.” Sure, Sam had done it on numerous occasions over the last few months because he had been afraid that if he didn’t, John would hurt Dean, but now he had nothing to worry about. John wasn’t here right now to see them sleeping curled up together like they used to, and Sam wasn’t scared to have that again. “Please, Dean?” he begged softly, rubbing his cheek against Dean’s shoulder as he allowed his eyes to slip closed.

How could Dean say no to Sam when he was acting this way? Sam had always slept in the same bed as Dean when he had a nightmare, and this whole thing was like one giant nightmare – only Sam was awake and it was all real. Dean wished that it was a nightmare. That he could just pinch Sam in the arm and everything would go back to the way it had been before John started hurting him. But he knew that he couldn’t. “All right, Sammy,” he agreed softly, giving his head a small nod. “Just scoot off me so we can lie down. M’not gonna get a cramp in my back because I fell asleep against the headboard.”

Happily, Sam moved to do as he was told, his arms flinging over Dean once more as soon as they were lying down. He curled into his brother’s side, knowing that Dean preferred Sam to lie on his side with his back facing him because Sam had a tendency to flop his limbs around at night and he didn’t want a stray knee to the cock, but Sam couldn’t help it. He wanted to be able to see Dean’s face right now. It had been so long since he’d stayed in the same bed as Dean and he wanted the full experience.

Taking a risk, Sam leaned up and pressed a kiss to his brother’s cheek, smiling at Dean. “Thank you,” he whispered, moving so that he was once again snuggled into the warm, tight embrace Dean was offering. It was like safety, and love, and home all wrapped into one and Sam felt warmth spreading through his entire body.

“For what?” Dean asked, a small confused frown coming to his lips. Sam had nothing to be thanking Dean for. If he had been paying better attention, he would have known that Sam was being abused. Instead, Dean had been going out with girls and trying to get himself laid. What he should have been doing was protecting Sam. That was his job, and he’d blown it. But he wasn’t going to let it happen again. Not ever. Sam was his everything from this point on. Even if that meant he was going to have to spend a little more time with his right hand, Dean was going to make sure that Sam always came first.

Again, Sam looked up at Dean, his cheeks flushing as their eyes locked. “For everything,” he answered softly, his brows knit in confusion because there was no way his brother didn’t know that he deserved a huge thank you and more. After everything that he had done for Sam, Dean deserved a fucking metal! Sighing, Sam didn’t give Dean a chance to say anything before his eyes were closed again and he had himself nestled in Dean’s arms, the exhaustion of the last few days finally catching up to him.

Dean pressed another kiss to the top of Sam’s head, his fingers carding through the mop of shaggy strands at the base of Sam’s skull as he all but pet his little brother. He knew that Sam liked being touched by him – or he had before John violated him – and if he was being honest with himself, Dean needed the contact right now too. He fell asleep a few minutes later, feeling the slow and steady rise and fall of his brother’s chest against him where Sam slept.

**~~**

A soft knock on the door brought Dean out of his sleep, the older Winchester frowning at the noise before he turned his attention to Sam. “Yeah?” he called out, gently dislodging himself from his brother. He smiled at Sam when the younger man snuffled a bit before burying his head in Dean’s pillow and quieting down once more. Dean then turned his attention to Bobby who was now in the room, another frown coming to his lips at the expression on Bobby’s face. “What?” he asked, his instincts immediately raising his hackles – preparing Dean to fight for what was his.

Seeing Sam and Dean in the same bed together, curled up like a couple in love made Bobby feel a little uneasy. He’d read articles about victims who had been traumatized focusing their attention on one person, and he didn’t want that to happen with these boys. After all, Dean was already a little too obsessed with family and the need to keep his brother safe – if Sam developed some kind of obsession with Dean, there was no telling what could come out of it. But for right now, Bobby didn’t want to rock the boat. Sam had suffered a great ordeal, after all, and there was no reason he shouldn’t be allowed to take comfort in his brother’s arms. Now, when they got older and if it didn’t stop, then Bobby would get worried.

“Nothing,” Bobby answered with a shrug, giving his head a small shake. “I just wanted to let you boys know that dinner was ready if you want it.” He gave Dean another small smile before he headed out of the room, sighing as he walked down the stairs to start preparing his own hamburger. After all, once Dean got ahold of the food, there was no telling how much would be left for Bobby. 

Once Bobby was out of the room, Dean moved to the bed again, gently shaking Sam to get the younger boy to wake up. “Sammy, hey,” he whispered, his smile growing wide when Sam’s eyes blinked open. “Bobby’s got dinner ready for us. You hungry?” Dean asked, pushing himself to his full height once more. “Because I’m starving. Let’s go get some food.”

Dinner was eaten in silence for the most part, Dean making sure that his knee was pressed up against Sam’s thigh the whole way through dinner. He didn’t want to stop touching Sam for some reason. It was like he had this irrational fear that if he didn’t have some part of his body on Sam’s at all times, the younger man was going to disappear. After everything that they had been through, Dean didn’t think that he was ready to be without Sam – and Sam definitely wasn’t ready to be without him. The kid couldn’t even sleep if Dean wasn’t in the same bed as him because of what happened.

Not that Dean minded. He had no problem offering his brother comfort when he needed it. That was part of his job as being a big brother. And he had to admit that being there for Sam wasn’t one of the worst things in the world – he actually liked spending time with the younger man and being the sole person he could rely on to keep him safe and protect him no matter what. It was kind of a rush, actually. To hold someone so close and know that they depend on you for everything – it was almost like being a father. And Dean was a helluva lot better at it than John because he was actually there for Sam – he’d never hurt Sam the way John had.

After dinner, Sam headed back upstairs to work on some more homework, although Dean all but begged him to stop. “Dean, I have to get this done,” Sam answered with a small frown. He wasn’t exactly sure why he needed it finished, but he knew that if he didn’t do it, he wouldn’t be able to forget about it. Unlike Dean, when Sam had an unfinished project, it consumed him. And although he knew there was no way he was going back to that school to hand in his assignment, this was a way for him to escape. “I’ll come back down as soon as I’m done,” he promised, tugging his arm out of Dean’s light grip and heading up the stairs.

He just couldn’t be down there right now. Bobby knew everything by now Sam was sure, and he couldn’t stand the looks the older hunter was giving him. Sure, Bobby probably didn’t know he was even doing it, but Sam couldn’t take it. And he wasn’t going to tell Dean that because it would probably just upset him, but he needed to deal with this in his own way. He needed to be alone. If he wanted Dean – if he _needed_ Dean – Sam would come back down and get him. 

In all honesty, Sam wasn’t even sure he wanted Dean around right now. All the older man was doing for him was being a crutch. And while Sam was grateful that Dean had figured everything out and he was taking care of him now, he couldn’t help but feel like he was a burden. Before all of this happened, Dean looked so much happier – he’d gone out with girls and had a good time. For the last three days, Dean had been with Sam and no one else – it was like Dean had made Sam his whole world and Sam couldn’t let Dean do that. No matter how much he wanted to feel that safety and comfort. Sam wasn’t going to be the reason Dean didn’t have a life of his own.

When he was in the room alone, Sam quickly moved to the bed and crawled on top of it, sitting cross-legged and grabbing his science book once more so he could resume his work. It wasn’t his favorite subject, but it did help to keep his mind off other things – at least for a little while, anyway. And he really did need that – Sam had a lot to think about right now. Like the way he was feeling about Dean. On the one hand, he wanted his brother to be with him all of the time and he was having these new strange feelings towards the older man; on the other hand, he wanted to let Dean have his space and be a teenager. It was all just so confusing.

This time, Sam managed to actually finish the science reading assignment before his mind wandered back to that apartment room where his father had touched him. His fingers curled in the sheets on the bed, Sam’s eyes focused on a spot on the opposite wall, vacant and unaware of his current surroundings. _”Such a good little boy for me, Sammy. Daddy’s good little baby boy.” A hand ran up his side, stroking along his shoulders before sliding down between his legs. “Don’t tell Dean, Sam. He won’t understand. ‘S just between me and you.”_

Strong hands wrapped around his biceps and someone shaking him brought Sam out of his thoughts. Distantly, he thought that he’d heard Dean calling his name, but he thought for sure that had just been his imagination. That was until he was fully focused on his surroundings again, a small frown coming to his lips when his hazel orbs locked with Dean’s concerned jade pools. “Dean?” Sam asked, obviously confused. His eyes ticked around the room before landing on the clock – 10:30 PM. God, that meant he had been up here for almost three hours, but it only felt like a few minutes. “What-What happened?” 

Before answering, Dean pulled Sam into a hug, holding the younger man against him tightly. His brother was losing time – probably lost in his own thoughts and memories about what had happened to him. And it was all Dean’s fault. “Shh…s’okay now Sammy,” Dean whispered softly, fingers carding through Sam’s hair once more. “Don’t worry about it, all right? You were just lost there for a minute.” Pulling back slightly, Dean asked, “You wanna tell me what you were thinkin’ about?”

Slowly, Sam shook his head, not wanting to talk about it at all – he didn’t even want to think about it. And when Dean was around, it seemed like he didn’t think about it. Instead, he focused on his brother’s presence, methodically packing up his books before scooting over on the mattress and giving his brother room to crawl in. “We should go to sleep,” Sam answered with a small nod. “We have school tomorrow, Dean. It’s almost 11. And I know you like to stay up until all hours of the night, but I don’t want to feel like the walking dead tomorrow. I have that test, remember?”

Dean could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, but he couldn’t let Sam see him cry. He had to be the strong one here. And if Sam focusing on going to school and doing his homework that he would never get to turn in was the only way his brother could cope with what happened, then Dean wasn’t going to stop him from doing so. After all, it wasn’t like it was hurting Sam. “Y-Yeah, okay,” Dean answered with a small smile, nodding at his brother. “I’m actually pretty tired myself.” His arms immediately wrapped around Sam once they were in the bed, and Sam’s head was resting right over Dean’s heart. Within minutes, they were both sleeping.

The next morning, Bobby and Dean let Sam sleep in, figuring the kid could use some extra shut eye. While Sam was snoozing, Dean and Bobby got to work on getting things set up for their permanent residence here in Sioux Falls. Bobby got them enrolled in classes at school and Dean managed to get himself a job lined up at one of the car shops so he could help Bobby out with the bills that were undoubtedly going to go up because he and Sam were staying there. Of course, Bobby insisted that he didn’t need Dean to provide money for them, but Dean wouldn’t take no for an answer. Besides, it was only going to be a few hours a day after school because Dean wasn’t too keen on the idea of leaving Sam alone for too long.

By the time they finished getting everything in place for their new home, it was almost lunch time. “I’m gonna go wake up Sammy,” Dean explained, heading up the stairs to the bedroom that he and Sam were sharing. Thankfully, Sam was still sleeping, a small smile coming to Dean’s lips as he just watched the younger man for a moment. Sam looked so peaceful in his sleep – like all of the memories that plagued him while he was awake were all resting with Sam. Dean liked no seeing those memories on Sam’s too young face.

After a few minutes of just taking in Sam’s sleeping form, Dean finally moved away from the wall he’d been leaning on and crouched next to the bed beside Sam. Gently, he shook Sam’s shoulder, smiling softly when his brother’s eyes blinked open. “Hey sleeping beauty,” he teased softly, grabbing the blankets and pulling them down the bed and off Sam. “Time to get up. You’re sleeping the day away. Bobby’s making us sandwiches for lunch. And you already missed breakfast, so wash up and I’ll meet ya downstairs, okay?”

As soon as he received the nod from Sam, Dean smiled, quickly moving to the bathroom so he could wash his hands before he jogged down the stairs to wait in the kitchen for Bobby to get back in the house. The older man had wanted to check on one of the cars that he was working on, so Dean had gone in ahead of him. 

Bobby sighed as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket, frowning at the caller ID. _John Winchester_. Really, Bobby had half a mind to answer it and just start going off on the other man, but he knew he couldn’t. He’d promised Dean he wouldn’t let John know they were there. And Bobby was a man of his word. Still, that didn’t mean he was going to ignore the call and raise suspicion on John’s part. “John, what can I do for ya?” he asked, frowning at the back door of his house to make sure Dean or Sam didn’t come outside and hear his conversation.

“I can’t find Sam and Dean!” John all but yelled through the receiver. “I’ve look everywhere, Bobby! I got home and found the place empty, and the Impala’s gone! But Dean would never go anywhere without my permission unless there was something wrong!” Taking a moment to catch his breath, John calmly asked, “Have you heard from them? I mean, there aren’t any missed calls on my phone, and if they didn’t reach out to me, you’re the only other person aside from Pastor Jim that they would have contacted.”

Oh, something was wrong, all right, but nothing that John was thinking about. “No, I haven’t heard from them,” Bobby answered, keeping himself as calm as he possibly could given the fact that he wanted to ring John’s neck through the phone. “I’ll keep my ears open though. In the meantime, you should probably call around and see if any of your other contacts have heard anything. I’m sure you’ll find ‘em.” Yeah, over Bobby’s dead body. And even if he did find them, he wasn’t getting them back.

Although John wasn’t exactly convinced that his sons would just take off and not call someone, he still hadn’t called Pastor Jim yet, so he wasn’t going to freak out until after he’d spoken to him. “Y-Yeah, okay, Bobby. Thanks,” John answered, licking his lips as his hands started to shake. What if Sam had opened his mouth and Dean had taken him away because of it. No, Sam wouldn’t be that stupid. Something else had to have happened. “Uh…if you hear from them, let me know, all right?” When Bobby assured him that he would, John hung up, immediately dialing Jim Murphy’s number to see if his boys were there.

Once he was off the phone, Bobby headed into the house, tucking his cell back into his pocket before anyone could see that he had been on the phone. There was no need to worry Sam and Dean over this because Bobby wasn’t going to let John get them back. They had enough to worry about – this could be Bobby’s weight to carry. He smiled at both Sam and Dean when he walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out his ingredients. “All right, who wants ham and who wants turkey?”


	4. Chapter 4

Things had been going really well over the last few months as far as Dean was concerned. He and Sam had been going to school and he was actually able to leave Sam alone for a while without freaking out. Sam was making friends and he was actually getting into a routine. They were almost like normal teenagers now – well, except Dean sometimes went on hunts by himself that were close by and easy to finish so he wasn’t gone for more than a day, and they knew about what went bump in the night. But other than that, they were like normal teenagers. 

Today, Sam was turning twelve and Dean was throwing him a party. It wasn’t anything special – just him and Bobby and a birthday cake. Dean had saved up some of the money he was making at the car shop to buy Sam a laptop of his very own, and Dean was really excited to give it to him. But Bobby had insisted that there would be no presents and no cake until after their homework was done.

So now, Dean was pretending to finish his reading assignment while he sprawled out on the floor and flipped through the pages at what seemed like an acceptable pace. Sam had taken the bed and was writing out some kind of essay that he had been working on since the beginning of the week. Apparently, it was worth like a quarter of his grade and Dean knew not to mess with Sam while he was working on his assignments. After all, Sam was going to get a scholarship to some hotshot college once he was done with school and Dean wasn’t supposed to distract Sam from any of that.

As soon as Sam put his pencil down and started packing his books back up, Dean flipped his own book closed and stood, stretching his aching muscles. “You ready for cake and presents, Sammy?” Dean asked, a wide grin on his face at the thought of Sam opening his gift. He couldn’t wait to see the look on his geeky little brother’s face when he saw that laptop. It was going to be priceless.

Unfortunately, Sam didn’t seem as psyched about his birthday as Dean was. “I guess so,” Sam answered with a small shrug. The last time he’d had a birthday, things hadn’t gone so well for him. It only ended up making his life worse. So he was actually a little scared about this year might bring him. Then again, after everything that happened when he turned eleven, Sam didn’t really think there was anything else that could happen to him. Nothing could be worse than being raped by your own father. Well, unless Dean decided to leave him alone – that would be worse.

Frowning, Dean lightly punched Sam in the arm, smirking down at his brother. “Hey, c’mon, it’s your birthday. Show a little more enthusiasm than that,” Dean teased, stopping Sam from leaving the room. “Seriously, I know that everything’s different from last year, but I promise it’s gonna be awesome. I mean, I can’t wait until you open my present. I’m probably more excited than you are. C’mon Sammy, show me a smile before we go down there and Bobby doesn’t let us have cake because you’re not psyched.”

Sam didn’t want to be the reason they didn’t have cake, so he plastered a smile on his lips and hugged his brother, pulling Dean in tightly. Honestly, he had no idea what he would have done over the last few months without his brother. Things could have turned out so much differently, but because Dean was an awesome big brother, everything turned out pretty well as far as he was concerned. “I wanna open my presents before cake,” Sam smiled when he pulled back, shoving Dean out of the way and running down the stairs, taunting Dean that he beat him to the kitchen when Dean came running in after him.

Just as Sam requested, he got to open his presents before they ate cake. He’d made a killing with gifts this year, hugging both Dean and Bobby for the awesome technology they gave him. Dean had gotten him the laptop he’d had his eye on the last time they went to a store together and Bobby had gotten him his very own cell phone. The older hunter had explained that if he was going to be a part of the family, he was going to need a phone in case he found himself in some kind of trouble. And unfortunately, in this family, it happened a lot.

After presents had been opened, they ate the cake, Dean devouring two pieces before he declared himself full. Unfortunately, it was a school night, so they couldn’t really stay up too late, but Dean was determined to keep Sam up at least until midnight – they had to get the full day in, after all. It was a waste of a day if they went to bed while Sam’s birthday was still going. “So, now that we’ve eaten our cake, what else do you wanna do, Sammy?” Dean asked, a wide smile on his lips as he placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Movie, board game – it’s your pick.”

Before Sam could answer, there was a knock on the door. Bobby frowned softly as he glanced at the clock, seeing that it was well past 9:00 PM. Quickly, he excused himself to open to door while Sam and Dean figured out what they were going to do for the rest of the night. His eyes widened when he opened the door to see none other than John Winchester standing there. He didn’t have time to react before John had shoved his way into his home and had Bobby pinned against the wall.

“You lied to me Bobby,” John accused, his eyes locked on Bobby’s, glaring daggers at the older man. “I saw the Impala out back. Have Sam and Dean been here the whole fucking time, Singer?” His breath reeked of alcohol and he was a little unsteady on his feet, but John didn’t care. He was pissed off and he wanted Bobby to know it. “You can’t keep my sons from me.” Before Bobby even knew what was happening, John had shoved himself away from him and he was staggering further into the house. “Boys! C’mon, it’s Dad – we’re leaving!”

Sam’s body went rigid as soon as he heard John’s voice calling out to them. No, this wasn’t happening. Not today. It was his birthday and he wanted it to be special. Dean had promised him that it was going to be great, but this wasn’t great. This was the absolute opposite of great! His wide eyes slid to his brother as Sam’s hands curled in the material of Dean’s shirt, holding the older man tightly in his grasp. Maybe this was all a dream and he would wake up soon. “Dean,” he whispered softly, that one word begging Dean to just do something to make this all disappear.

Without thinking about it, Dean dislodged himself from Sam’s grip and headed towards the hallway where John’s voice had come from. As soon as the older Winchester came into the room, Dean couldn’t help himself – he clocked his father in the jaw, a satisfied smirk coming to his lips when John fell on his ass, leaving the older man staring up at his son, stunned. 

Luckily, Bobby chose that exact moment to come into the room, grabbing Dean and hauling him away from John. Dean hadn’t even realized that he’d been about ready to hit John again until Bobby shoved him away. “You have some fucking nerve coming here and thinking that we’re just going to walk outta here with you!” Dean yelled, barely stopping himself from charging John once more. “There’s no way you’re getting your filthy hands on Sammy again. I don’t care if you’re our biological father – you’re not our family! Not anymore. Not after what you did!”

John was back on his feet and it pissed Dean off again. He tried to throw another punch, but Bobby stopped him, the older hunter trying to get Dean to see something behind him, but Dean wasn’t paying attention. “I swear to God, if you try to touch Sam again, I’ll kill you!” he shouted, pushing at Bobby’s hands to get the older man to let him go, though it didn’t work. “Do you hear me? You even _think_ about touching him again and I’ll fucking kill you!”

Anger spread across John’s features at Dean’s words, the older hunter stalking towards his son. “You mind your tone with me, boy,” he warned, angry chocolate eyes glaring at his son’s equally dangerous jade pools. He then turned his attention to Sam, who was huddled on the couch in what could only be described as the fetal position. “C’mon Sammy, we’re done visiting Uncle Bobby. We have to get back on the road now.” His eyes held no room for argument, and Sam knew that if he tried to argue, there were going to be punishments later. 

But he didn’t want to go. Sam wanted to stay with Bobby where he knew that he was safe. If he let John take him, Sam would never feel safe again. He’d have to go back to getting raped when John was home and not sleeping in the same bed as Dean anymore, and Sam just didn’t want that. Sam wasn’t even sure he _could_ go back to that. After being away from John for these past months, he knew what it felt like to be safe, and he didn’t want to lose that feeling.

When strong hands gripped his biceps and gave him a small shake, Sam’s jumped slightly, eyes locking with his brother’s. “Sammy, don’t you dare. We’re not going anywhere, you hear me?” Dean smiled softly at Sam when the younger man nodded, returning Sam’s gesture. “Do me a favor and go upstairs, all right? Don’t let anyone in unless it’s me, okay?” Again, Sam nodded and Dean gave him a small shove towards the back of the house so he didn’t have to walk past John to get upstairs.

Once they were alone, the three men just stood for a few moments eyeing one another, waiting for someone to make the first move. In the end, it was Dean who broke the silence. “You know there’s no way I’m letting him walk out that door with you,” Dean assured the other man. “After what you did to him for all those years, you’re lucky I didn’t wait around for you to come back so I could put a bullet in your head. I mean, that’s what we do with evil things, isn’t it? We kill them?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Dean,” John smirked smugly, giving his shoulder a small shrug. “You’re obviously making these things up. Why? I have no idea. But it needs to stop now. You’ve burdened Bobby long enough. It’s time to get back on the road.”

No idea what he was talking about? Burdened Bobby long enough? Oh, now Dean was pissed. “You raped Sam!” he snapped, his anger getting the best of him once more. “He was eleven years old and you forced yourself on him! What kind of a father are you?! I trusted you to keep Sam safe, and all along, you were the one who I should have been protecting him from!”

Without hesitation, John lurched forward and punched Dean. The younger man’s head snapped to the side and his lip split from the force. Dean didn’t let it faze him though, the younger Winchester pulling his own fist back and landing a blow to John’s cheek before following up with one to his gut. If John wanted a fight, Dean would give it to him. He’d been waiting for this moment since he took Sam away from that apartment building in Oregon.

As the fight continued, both men got some pretty good hits in, but John finally got the upper hand, holding Dean’s shirt in his fist as he landed another blow to Dean’s left cheek. “What’s the matter, son?” he asked, his eyes crazy as he breathed out a chuckle. “Are you mad because I got to little Sammy first?” Again, he laughed when Dean tried to struggle away, shaking his son by the grip he had on his shirt. “I saw the way you looked at him. I bet you had wood every morning you woke up in the bed with him, didn’t you? Don’t be ashamed, son – Sam’s a very attractive little boy. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to have a taste.”

“You’re a sick sonuvabitch,” Dean growled, too tired to really come up with a snappier comeback. “I’ve never thought of Sam that way. He’s my brother. We’re _family_. At least I know what that means.”

Before John could land the blow that he was about to throw, there was the sound a shotgun firing, causing both Winchesters to turn their attentions towards Bobby. He had a shotgun in his hand and it was now aimed at John instead of the ceiling where he had fired earlier. “I think it’s time for you to leave, John,” he suggested, cocking the shotgun to let the other man know he wasn’t playing around. “Get outta my house before I give you a third hole!”

Although his original plan hadn’t been to leave until he at least had Sam, John knew when he’d lost a fight. And right now, he’d lost. But that didn’t mean it was over. Not completely. “Fine, I’m going,” he growled, holding his hands up in a defensive position as he walked towards the door. He shot Dean one last glare before he left, climbing into his truck and pulling out of the salvage yard. He’d get Sam back one way or another. It was just a matter of time.

Almost as soon as John was gone, Dean rushed up the stairs to make sure Sam was all right. After all, there was a window in the room and if John really wanted to get at Sam, he could. “Sammy?” Dean called, flinging the door open as soon as he was close enough. The sight that he was met with almost had tears springing to his eyes. His little brother was curled up on the bed with tears streaming down his cheeks and Dean just wanted to hold him and promise that everything was going to be all right. 

But Dean knew that he couldn’t do that. Not right now. His body was aching from fighting with John and he had blood smeared on his face from his busted lip and the cut on his forehead because John had tossed him against the corner of the wall. Still, he wanted to make sure that Sam was okay before he got into the shower and spent more time than absolutely necessary under the hot spray. 

The minute Sam saw Dean come into the room, he sprung from the bed and ran into Dean’s arms, locking his own arms around Dean’s waist. When Dean groaned as if he was in pain, Sam frowned, pulling back a little. “M’sorry,” Sam mumbled, giving his head a small shake. “I was so scared, Dean. I heard screaming and I didn’t know what was going on. Are you okay?” Dean looked awful and Sam could see the bruising already forming on his brother’s cheek. He could only imagine what Dean looked like under his clothes. And no, he wasn’t thinking about how hot that made him feel under his collar. He had other things to worry about right now. Like Dean’s injuries.

At first, Dean hadn’t been expecting Sam to come barreling at him, but he wasn’t complaining. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Sam’s shoulders and just held him for a little while. “It’s okay Sammy,” he whispered softly, running his fingers through Sam’s hair when the younger man pulled back. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Bobby told John to leave and not come back, so we’re safe.” At least for now, they were safe. There was no telling if John would come back, but if he did, Dean wouldn’t change anything. Well, except maybe that he would grab his own gun and give John a third hole without warning. 

Once he had his brother calmed down, Dean moved towards the bed, tucking the blankets around his brother’s chin. “So…maybe not the best birthday ever, huh?” he asked, a small frown on his lips. “M’sorry. I wish he wouldn’t have shown up here tonight. It just…I feel like it ruined everything.”

A small frown came to Sam’s lips as he gave his head a shake. “Dean, don’t be like that,” he whispered. “This isn’t your fault. You couldn’t have planned for something like this.” Sure, deep in the back of Sam’s mind, he’d always known that John wasn’t going to stop looking for them. He wasn’t going to give up because John had told Sam that when he’d been in bed with him one night. John had promised that he wouldn’t let Sam go because he belonged to him. Just thinking about it caused a shiver to go through Sam’s spine.

“I should have known,” Dean whispered, shaking his head. “I should have known that he wasn’t going to stop so easily. That he wouldn’t let us get away.” He had no way of knowing that John would have picked tonight, but he should have guessed it. Sam hadn’t had too many good birthdays, and Dean wanted this one to break that cycle. Unfortunately, it hadn’t. “Well Sammy, I have to get into the shower. Gonna get all this cleaned off. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

With that, Dean pushed himself to his feet from his kneeling position by the bed, groaning softly as his aching muscles protested the action. He stood under the hot spray for almost thirty minutes, making sure that all of the blood and sweat was off his body. He could smell the whiskey from John’s breath all over his body and he hated it. Unfortunately, no matter how hard he scrubbed, Dean didn’t think he could get it off himself.

Only when the water started to run cold did Dean get out of the shower. He quickly tugged on a pair of boxers and climbed into the bed with Sam, snuggling up against his brother. His arms wrapped tightly around Sam, pulling Sam against his body. “Go to sleep Sammy,” he whispered, feeling the way his brother instantly relaxed when he climbed into the bed. “We have to go to school tomorrow morning.”

**~~**

Over the next few weeks, things seemed to be better. John hadn’t come back to Bobby’s house, and everything was going great – especially between Sam and Dean. They were spending a lot of time together and Sam was trying to work out his feelings for his brother. Sure, he was only twelve years old, but he wasn’t an idiot – he knew that he had feelings for Dean that he shouldn’t have, but a part of him just didn’t care. After all, Dean didn’t push him away, so Sam didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. Who the hell cared what other people thought?

Today after school, they were supposed to be tuning up the Impala and Dean promised that he would let Sam help, so he was really excited. He could feel a smile coming to his lips as he walked across the football field to the back parking lot where Dean always met him after their last class. However, as soon as he came to the edge of the field and saw Dean, Sam’s heart dropped into his stomach.

Brittany Jennings – the school’s biggest slut – was hanging all over Dean, and he was definitely buying what she was selling. Sure, when this all started, Sam had promised that he wouldn’t let his brother sacrifice his good time just because of him, but now that he was actually putting that to the test, Sam found that he was a little more selfish than he would have hoped. He didn’t want Dean to be enjoying attention from another person – especially not Brittany Jennings who practically had _fuck me_ written across her forehead. No, that just wasn’t going to do.

Taking a deep breath, Sam grabbed the straps of his backpack and hefted the heavy bag further onto his shoulders, purposefully striding towards the Impala. He stopped just a few inches away from Dean, making sure that their elbows brushed against one another as he gave Dean a small smile. But Dean didn’t even pay him any attention at first, head tipping back as he full-heartedly laughed at something Brittany was blubbering on about. “Dean,” he finally said, tugging on his brother’s leather jacket. “I wanna go home. I have a lot of homework to do.” It was a lie, but Dean didn’t have to know that.

“Aww, aren’t you just the cutest little thing!” Brittany squealed as she leaned down so that she could look Sam in the eye. She was wearing her hooker heels and Sam hadn’t exactly hit his growth spurt that Dean insisted he was going to hit quite yet. She reached out to pinch one of his cheeks, but Sam shied away, burying his face in Dean’s bicep. Of course, he didn’t have to be watching to know that his brother had grabbed her wrist and stopped her from getting too close.

A small frown came to Dean’s lips as the arm Sam was hiding behind came to wrap around his brother’s shoulders, tugging Sam in closer. It was obvious that Brittany was a little confused – and he was possibly squeezing her wrist a little too hard – but no one touched Sam without the younger man’s permission. And nowadays, Dean seemed to be the only one who had permission to touch Sam. The kid didn’t even let Bobby get too close. “He’s shy,” Dean quickly explained, releasing her before he opened the passenger door so Sam could climb in. “I’ll catch you later. I have to get to work.”

With that, Dean climbed into the Impala and sped out of the parking lot, wanting to get home before Sam had a potential meltdown. After all, the last time someone tried to touch him, he’d locked himself in their room for hours and refused to come down. Then, the next day he skipped school because he was afraid of what the other students might do to him if he went back. Luckily, Dean talked him in to going back after the second sick day, otherwise they would have needed a doctor’s excuse. “Are you all right, Sammy?” Dean asked as he pulled into his spot beside Bobby’s current fixer-upper. 

Slowly, Sam nodded, letting Dean know he was fine. “I-I lied earlier,” he explained softly, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “I don’t have a lot of homework. I don’t really have any. I did it all during my free period so we could tune up the Impala like you said.” Sam couldn’t help it – he was looking forward to spending time with Dean, and Brittany had been trying to take that away from him. If she wanted to spend time with Dean, she was going to have to wait her turn. And no, Sam wasn’t going to analyze how that made him feel. At least not right now because Dean was already climbing out of the car, Sam quickly following behind him.

Once they had dropped off their books in their room and changed out of their good clothes, Sam and Dean headed back outside so they could work on the car. She was due for an inspection and one of the managers that Dean worked for gave him the stickers so he could just inspect the car by himself. After all, it wasn’t like the money was rolling in like it had been when they were hustling pool every night, so Dean needed to save where he could.

After about an hour, Dean had everything in top shape and they were ready to head back in. Bobby had already ordered them a pizza and they all stayed up until about midnight before calling it a day. Unlike Sam, Dean hadn’t done his homework during his free period, so that meant he was going to have to do it in the morning before school; therefore, Dean wanted to catch at least a few hours of sleep before he had to get up and make his brain start memorizing the quadratic formula for his math test.

That night, Sam slept just a little bit closer to Dean than he normally did, his hand tightly fisted in his brother’s ratty old T-shirt. If Dean noticed, he didn’t mention anything and he surely didn’t push Sam away, so Sam was calling it a win for himself. He couldn’t help the smile that came to his lips as he drifted off into another peaceful slumber.


	5. Chapter 5

** Four Years Later **

Rhonda Hurley – the newest of Dean’s followers and right now the biggest pain in Sam’s ass. She kept hanging all over Dean every chance she got and she would always try to make plans with Dean. It was only a matter of time before she finally succeeded and then Sam would have to spend a night alone. Sure, he would like to think that Dean wouldn’t do that to him, but he wasn’t an idiot. Dean was twenty years old and Sam knew that he hadn’t had sex in a while. And no matter what anyone said, there was no way that Dean could just be satisfied all of those times that Sam overheard his jacking off in the shower.

After all, Dean was a man. And men had certain needs. Well, from what Sam had read anyway. The same rules didn’t apply with him. Honestly, the thought of anyone touching him in a sexual way made his insides curl. Anyone except for Dean, that was. Over the last few years, he’d had time to sort through those pesky feelings he was having for Dean and he was pretty sure that he had figured it out. 

He wanted Dean. Sam wanted his brother in a way that was far from brotherly and it didn’t even really bother him. Sure, he knew that incest was wrong, but he just couldn’t find it in himself to care. It was wrong by whose standards anyway? What the hell did anyone else need to worry about if Sam and Dean were having sex? It wasn’t like they could reproduce and have mutated babies, or anything. They were both men! So it was no one’s business what they were doing behind closed doors as far as Sam was concerned.

Still, proving that to Dean was going to be the hard part. And from the way Rhonda was hanging all over him at the diner right now, Sam needed to do something fast. Quickly, he handed the bills over to the cashier to pay for his and Dean’s meal before he headed over to his brother’s side, glaring at Rhonda as though she were the devil herself. “Dean, I paid the bill,” he explained, adjusting the strap of his laptop bag on his shoulder. “We should go. Bobby said he didn’t want us to goof off after dinner tonight. We have that thing that we have to do.”

A small frown came to Dean’s lips when Sam started yapping about wanting to get back. Seriously, if his brother could be more of a cock block, Dean would be surprised. But for now, he was going to let Sam have his way. “All right Sammy, I’m comin’,” he assured the younger man, leaning in to press his lips to Rhonda’s in a brief kiss. “I’ll see you later.” Rhonda’s roommate was out of town and she had invited Dean to come over that night. Finally, he was going to get lucky.

When Dean kissed Rhonda, Sam felt his heart start to pound against his chest. He could feel tears slam into him, but he wasn’t going to let them fall. She wasn’t going to get the satisfaction of seeing him cry. Of course, he was going to do everything in his power to keep Dean from going anywhere with her later. That was definitely something that he could control. All he needed was the right timing and the right tools.

As soon as they were in the car, Sam made sure to slam the door to let Dean know that he was pissed off. “Hey!” Dean snapped, glaring at his brother. “Don’t hurt my baby because you’re in a pissy mood, Sam.” Seriously, he had been fine all through dinner until Rhonda showed up. Now, he was acting like a child having a tantrum, and Dean wasn’t going to let him get away with it. Sure, they had been lenient with him before about these things because of everything that had happened to him, but Dean wasn’t going to sacrifice his car to one of Sam’s moments.

“Well maybe I should just get out of the car and walk home then, Dean,” Sam suggested, ready to open the door, only to have Dean pull out of the parking spot. It was Dean’s fault that he was in a bad mood anyway so Sam didn’t think that he had to worry about hurting Dean’s precious little car. After all, it wasn’t like he was going to break the door – and even if he did, Dean could easily fix it. The car wouldn’t even be out of commission for a day.

Frowning deeply, Dean turned his attention to Sam before looking back at the road. “The hell is your problem, Sam?” he asked, accelerating the car just a little so they could get home faster. He wasn’t in the mood to have this conversation while he was trying to drive. “You were fine all night and then Rhonda shows up and you start. If you’re jealous that I have a date and you don’t, then maybe you should start talking to people more. I mean, that Rachel chick was practically begging to get into your pants the other day.”

Angrily, Sam snapped, “Maybe I don’t want to go on a date with someone Dean! Did it ever occur to you that I don’t really care about getting laid as much as you obviously do?!” Shaking his head, Sam continued, “I mean really, everything is about sex with you! And I know that you get pissed off when I ruin one of your dates, so why the hell don’t you just say it? You only want me to go out with someone so you don’t have to deal with me that night because then there’s a better chance of you getting your dick wet!”

Okay, now Dean was getting angry. That was just uncalled for. “You know that’s not true, Sam!” Dean shouted. “I just want you to have some fun! Is it so wrong for me to want you to have some semblance of a normal life? With everything that we deal with on a day to day basis, I just thought you might want to go out and be a kid for once.” 

Before anyone else could speak, Dean’s phone started ringing, the older Winchester fishing in his pocket to grab the small device. “What?” he answered, frowning when Bobby scolded him not to take that tone. “Sorry. Sammy’s in one of his moods and I guess it’s rubbing off.” There was a pause as Bobby spoke. “Yeah, he’s fine. Just being a little bratty today.” Another pause. “Yeah, sure that’s fine. When do you think you’re gonna be home?” Pause. “Okay, well, I’ll hold down the fort, I guess. See ya when you get back. Bye.”

Once Dean shoved his phone back in his pocket, he turned to Sam and explained, “Bobby’s gotta go help a friend hunt a Banshee, so he’s not gonna be home for a few days.” Dean would have loved to go, but he didn’t want to leave Sam alone at the house while he was hunting. It was different when Bobby was there, but no one would be there to keep Sam safe if Dean left. Which meant that he was going to have to change his plans for the evening. Rhonda could come over to his place tonight – it would be no big deal. 

Sam didn’t even bother answering Dean, instead just throwing his door open as soon as Dean parked and stomping into the house. If Dean even thought about leaving tonight, Sam was going to be so mad. Leaving him alone with Bobby was one thing, but leaving him completely alone? That just wasn’t going to fly. Not that Sam thought Dean would do that, but for sex, he wasn’t exactly one hundred percent sure.

That night, Sam spent most of his time locked up in his room adamantly ignoring Dean. He only made his way downstairs at around eleven o’clock because that was originally the time that Dean was supposed to leave to see Rhonda. Grabbing himself a glass of water, Sam headed into the living room where Dean was watching television and plopped down on the couch beside him. “Are you leaving?” Sam asked, a small frown on his lips.

So now Sam was going to talk to him? Good because Dean had a few questions of his own for the younger man. “No,” he answered with a small shake of his head. “I can’t leave you here alone and Bobby’s not comin’ home tonight.” He had originally planned on inviting Rhonda over, but Bobby had his books all over the place and he just didn’t even want to deal with all the questions that would bring up. “Looks like you’re stuck with me tonight. You can go back to your room and pout now that you know I’m not leaving.”

Another frown came to Sam’s lips at Dean’s words. “Dean, I wasn’t pouting,” he assured his brother. “I was just…I was mad.” And no, Sam had no intention of telling Dean why he was mad. After all, it had taken Sam years to figure out what he wanted and be okay with it – if Dean knew, Sam wasn’t sure he would stay with him and the thought of being alone scared him so damn badly.

“Yeah? And why was that Sammy?” Dean asked, turning the television off so he could focus on Sam completely. “Why don’t you want me to go out with Rhonda? Or talk to Brittany. Or any of the other girls that I tried to talk to over the last few years?” Sighing, Dean chuckled as he let his head fall, giving it another small shake. “I’m horny, Sam!” he explained bluntly. “I’m a twenty year old guy and I need to have sex with something other than my hand every now and then. And Rhonda was a sure thing! And so was Brittany! Why are you trying so hard to keep me from getting laid?!”

Honestly, Sam didn’t want to answer that question. Sure, he knew the answer just fine, but he didn’t want to say. If Dean knew and didn’t return the feelings, then Sam wouldn’t know what to do. There was no way that Sam could live without his brother and he knew it. “I just don’t want you to leave me,” Sam answered finally, giving his shoulders a small shrug. It was as close to the truth as Dean was going to get and Sam was sticking to that story. After all, Dean didn’t need to know the whole story. Not yet anyway. Sam needed to test the waters first and figure out how Dean felt about him first.

To think that Sam could believe Dean would leave him just because he wanted to go out with a girl was absurd. His brother meant the world to him, and Sam was always going to come before anything or anyone else. There was nothing that could change that, and Dean was a little hurt that Sam didn’t already know that. “Sammy, I wouldn’t leave you just because I got some action, okay?” Dean assured his brother, gently taking Sam’s chin in his hand and making sure to keep eye contact with him. “I love you, Sam. You’re more important to me than anything. You know that, right?”

When Sam nodded, Dean felt a little better about things. Still, this conversation wasn’t over. “But I can’t be around all of the time. Sometimes, I have to go out and have a life. Get lucky. I’m a guy – I need sex. And my hand just isn’t working as well as it did a few weeks ago, okay?” He knew that Sam probably didn’t understand his need for sex, but the kid didn’t really have to. All he needed to know was that Dean couldn’t jerk off every time he needed release. That’s why he hit on skirts.

It was true; Sam didn’t understand Dean’s need for sex. He didn’t want his brother to run off and be with someone else. Sam wanted to be everything that Dean wanted and everything he needed. And if Dean needed and wanted sex right now, Sam could at least make the suggestion. Sure, his heart was beating out of his chest and he’d promised himself he would test the waters first, but this was a perfect opportunity to test his theory and he wasn’t going to pass it up. 

Before Sam could talk himself out of it, he moved a little closer to Dean, biting into his bottom lip as he planned each move carefully. “What-What if you used someone else’s hand?” Sam asked, his eyes ticking up to gaze at Dean before he quickly glued them back to the couch cushion. Just from that question, there was no way that Dean would be able to tell that Sam wanted to be the one who jerked Dean off. For the moment, he was still safe.

A small chuckle escaped Dean when Sam asked his question. He didn’t think there was an alternate meaning or motive behind it, so he was just going to go along with it. “Yeah that might work,” he answered with a nod. “But again, that would mean I’d have to go out and actually find someone who can jerk me off. So, we’re back at square one.” Sighing, Dean ruffled Sam’s hair before he explained, “You’re just gonna have to let me go out once and a while, I guess.”

“I could do it,” Sam blurted, taking a chance and just going with it. His hand moved to Dean’s crotch, fingers gently massaging his brother through the denim before he could chicken out. He didn’t have much experience with hand jobs, but he’d done it once or twice for John when the older man had ordered it from him. And he’d watched videos in the last few months in an attempt to understand how it was supposed to be with someone who cared for you so he could make it good for Dean when he finally made his move. Of course, Sam was better at sucking cock than stroking it, so maybe Dean would let him do that instead. It would be much more satisfying for the both of them.

At first, Dean didn’t react. It took a minute for his brain to process what was happening and to catch up with the situation. Once he could force his body to move, he shoved Sam’s hand out from between his legs and scrambled off the couch, nearly falling on his ass in his haste to get away from his little brother. He almost couldn’t believe that Sam had done that. But he had been here and the evidence was clear. Sam had actually offered to jerk his dick over letting him go out and get laid.

This was bad. It was so fucking bad, and Dean had no idea what he was going to do to get them out of this one. For a split second, he thought about bolting – of leaving the room and just locking himself up somewhere so he could think this all through. But one look at Sam’s wrecked face told Dean that wasn’t an option. Pulling away from his brother had been a dumb mistake. One that Dean wasn’t going to make again, that was for sure. “Sammy hey,” he whispered, moving towards Sam cautiously, acting as though his brother is a spooked animal who could run at any minute. “M’sorry, I didn’t mean to jerk away like that. You just…freaked me out for a second.”

That’s what Sam had been afraid of. His brother didn’t want him the way Sam wanted him and he was scared that he just blew it. There was a chance that Sam had just fucked up everything and Sam was scared. “I…I didn’t mean to,” Sam answered with a small shake of his head. “I just thought that if I helped you, it would make you want to stay here with me.” He could feel the tears prickling behind his eyes as he locked them with Dean’s. “I just don’t want you to leave me.”

Another deep frown came to Dean’s lips when Sam explained that he didn’t want him to leave. Honestly, Dean didn’t think leaving Sam alone with Bobby for a few hours was a big deal, but obviously Sam thought differently. “Sammy, hey,” Dean started, giving his head a small shake as he moved closer to the younger man. He couldn’t stand the idea of Sam crying and his brother had those damn tears in his eyes. “I would never leave you. Do you hear me? Never. I’m always gonna be here for you. No matter what.”

Still, this needed to be addressed. Sam needed to know this wasn’t to happen again. There was no way Dean was going to let Sam touch him like that again. It wouldn’t be right – they were brothers. And if Dean allowed something like this, he was no better than their father. “But…we can’t ever do anything like that, okay? We’re brothers – it’s wrong.” He could see the way Sam’s expression changed and it made him feel like an asshole. But there had to be lines drawn here. For one, Dean didn’t think about Sam in a sexual way, and for another, Bobby would freak out if they tried to start something like that. It was best if Sam knew there was no chance of that now before he got too many ideas in his head.

Now, it was Sam’s turn to frown. Honestly, he didn’t understand what was so wrong about this. He loved Dean, and he knew that Dean loved him. His brother would always say that he loved him, anyway. Then again, maybe it was all a lie. After all, who could love someone as broken as Sam? Surely, there was no way that Dean could have actual, genuine feelings for him – not now that he knew what happened to Sam at the hands of their father. “I get it,” Sam assured his brother with a small nod. “You don’t want me like that. I understand.”

Before Dean could reach out and comfort Sam, having seen the tear slide down the younger man’s cheek, Sam was off the couch and heading back to his room. “Sammy, come on,” Dean grumbled, pushing himself off the couch as well before following Sam up the stairs, only to have the door slammed in his face. When he tried to open it, he realized that Sam threw the lock into place as well. “Sam, open the door!” he ordered, jerking on the knob. “Dammit Sam, don’t make me pick this lock!”

Angrily, Dean hit the door with his fist, feeling defeated. His brother wasn’t understanding what he was saying. Sure, Sam said he understood, but if he did, he wouldn’t be having this hissy fit right now. “You’re sixteen years old, Sam. Don’t you think you’re a little too old for tantrums?!” Sam only acted this way because Sam let him. If he had been stricter with the kid when he’d been growing up, Sam wouldn’t lock himself in rooms and pout for hours on end. But it was a little too late for that now, so Dean figured it was safer to just leave Sam alone for a little while and let Sam cool off. Sighing, he pushed himself away from the door and headed back into the living room, turning on the television once more. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

**~~**

For the next few days, Sam spent as much time as possible in his room. Bobby came back from the hunt he was on in a couple of days, and Dean couldn’t be happier. He was starting to worry about Sam, and he wanted to talk to Bobby about it. Maybe he wasn’t enough for the younger man. After all, he had no idea how to get someone to cope with being raped – especially since the rapist was someone who was supposed to help Sam, not hurt him. Someone who was supposed to take care of Sam, but instead tortured him in ways Dean could only imagine. Perhaps it was time for Dean and Bobby to get Sam some professional help. Sam didn’t talk to Dean about it anymore, after all. If he got a psychologist, it might make things better for him.

He needed to stop thinking about this for right now though. Every time John Winchester came into his mind, Dean had an uncontrollable urge to hit something. Still, after all these years, he wanted nothing more than to strap John down and make him hurt for what he did to Sam. There was no excuse for being such a disgusting bastard that you would hurt your own family. None whatsoever. Family was the most important thing in the world – you were supposed to protect your family at all costs. John had been the one to teach him that, dammit!

Noise from the kitchen brought Dean out of his musings, the older man turning to see Sam getting himself a glass of water. Quickly, Dean stood, moving to the kitchen so he could talk to his brother. Sam had been avoiding him since that night he explained things couldn’t get physical between them and Dean wanted to talk to Sam now. The kid hadn’t even asked Dean to sleep in the same bed as him since the incident two nights ago, and it bothered Dean. 

Just as he had suspected, as soon as he walked into the kitchen, Sam tried to bolt, but Dean anticipated his move and blocked his escape. “Sammy, you gotta talk to me sometime,” he tried, attempting to lock gazes with Sam. His brother didn’t seem to want to have any part of it though, adamantly keeping his eyes glued to the floor. Even then though, Dean could see the dark circles under his brother’s eyes – could see how Sam’s hazel orbs were bloodshot and unfocused. Now, Dean wasn’t playing around. A little more roughly than he had intended, Dean gripped his brother’s chin and forced their eyes to meet. “What the hell, Sam?” Dean bit out, frowning at his brother. “Have you gotten _any_ sleep since you locked yourself in that room and refused to talk to me?”

In all honesty, Sam didn’t want to tell Dean. He would only get mad, and Sam didn’t want to make Dean angry. But he knew that he couldn’t lie to him either. “A little bit,” he finally answered, feeling his eyes start to droop as he was standing here. It wasn’t his fault – well, not completely. When Dean wasn’t in the bed with him, Sam couldn’t sleep. The nightmares would plague his dreams and it just wasn’t something that Sam could deal with. So he stayed awake. There had been times when he thought about leaving the room and begging Dean to sleep with him, but every time that happened, Dean’s little speech about this not ever being anything more between them rang through his head and he just stayed put.

But now, Sam couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to get some sleep and the only way that was going to happen was if he swallowed his pride and asked Dean to lie down with him. “I-I didn’t want to bother you,” he quickly explained, blinking rapidly to keep his mind focused. “I thought you were mad at me and I didn’t want to ask you to come lie down with me.” He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes again, but he was chalking that up to them being dry from not sleeping, though he knew that wasn’t the reason. “But I can’t…I can’t sleep if you’re not with me and I can’t stay up anymore. Please…just for a little while, Dean, please?”

Dean knew that he should have said no. That he should have told Sam that he needed to learn how to fall asleep on his own. But the look on his brother’s face and the pure exhaustion he could see in the younger man’s eyes let Dean know this was the only way he was going to get his kid brother to sleep. “All right, Sammy, yeah,” he finally answered, moving out of the doorway so Sam could lead the way to wherever he wanted to sleep. If Dean was being honest with himself, he hadn’t slept all that great either, so this was a welcomed comfort.

Relief flooded through Sam when Dean agreed to sleep in the same bed as him. He’d been so scared that his brother was going to tell him no and he honestly wasn’t sure if he could last another night without sleep. His body was already shutting down – he could feel it. It was taking all of his energy just to keep his eyes open and he wasn’t sure he would survive another nightmare. Every time he closed his eyes, images of what had happened to him before they got here flashed in his head and he couldn’t help but jackknife out of bed with sweat pouring off his body.

Without thinking, Sam moved towards their bedroom, his body on autopilot. Every now and then, he’d turn to make sure Dean was following, but other than that, he was like a robot. When the finally reached their room, Sam all but flopped onto the bed, not even bothering to strip out of his uncomfortable jeans or his shoes. Dean, on the other hand, takes the time to take off his jeans and his boots. “Sammy, c’mon,” he complained, maneuvering his brother into a better position so they can both be comfortable. Before he climbs into the bed, he removes Sam’s shoes and tugs his jeans off his body as well.

The look he gets from Sam kind of freaks him out. Almost like Sam is expecting something to happen between them now because Dean made the move to strip him out of some of his more uncomfortable clothing. “Don’t look at me like that,” he mumbled, flopping into the bed beside Sam and pulling the blankets up over them both. “Don’t want you kickin’ me with those giant booted feet of yours, and I don’t want you to chafe me with your starchy jeans.”

Really, Sam hadn’t let his mind go there over the last few days. But he had to admit that watching his brother remove his pants and shoes was the hottest thing he’d seen… _ever_. So maybe right now Dean wasn’t into the idea of being romantically involved with Sam, but that wasn’t going to stop Sam from wanting his brother. And he was sure that sooner or later, Dean would understand that they were meant to be together this way. Until then though, Sam would take what he could get, snuggling in closer to Dean and finally getting some much needed rest.


	6. Chapter 6

Pain flared through Sam’s arm as he dragged Dean’s pocket knife across his wrist. Blood bubbled up around the slash rapidly and started spilling over his hand, making a mess on Bobby’s bathroom floor. Briefly, Sam thought about how mad Bobby was going to be when he came in here and saw the mess on the floor, but it was a fleeting thought in his mind. After all, Sam wasn’t going to be here to get the wrath of the older hunter, so why should he care.

It wasn’t like Sam had woken up this morning and decided to take his own life. No, he was pushed into this. Dean didn’t want to be with him – his brother was proving that right now by spending time with that slutty little waitress from the diner last night. And he didn’t want to live if he couldn’t be with Dean; life wasn’t _worth_ living if he couldn’t have his brother. Tears welled up in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks as he dragged the pocket knife over his other wrist, figuring that if he was going to bleed out in here, he might as well make it fast. After all, he didn’t want to suffer anymore.

Still, there must have been some unconscious part of his mind that wanted to live because he’d sent Dean a text message before he locked himself away from Bobby in the bathroom. Now it was just a matter of knowing if Dean was going to make it in time before Sam actually bit it. Some part of Sam knew that he would because this was Dean they were talking about. His brother was his hero, after all.

The last thought that came to Sam’s mind before he passed out was that his brother was going to be so pissed when he came home and the bathroom door was locked. 

**~~**

 _Dean, come home now, please? I need you._ The text message was staring him right in the face and Dean couldn’t ignore it. Sure, he was having a good time with Brandy, but he had to look out for his brother. Sam came before anything else – including his need for sex. So, he apologized politely and jogged to the car, peeling out of the lot and rushing towards Bobby’s house. He was sure that it was nothing – Sam just mad because he’d been out on a date, or something. But he wasn’t willing to take that chance.

As soon as he pulled into the salvage yard, he cut the engine, moving to the house. Sam wasn’t anywhere in sight and now Dean was starting to panic. “Hey Bobby, have you seen Sammy?” Dean asked, glancing around the first floor for any sight of his brother. Sure Bobby had been in charge of watching Sam, but that didn’t mean that he had accomplished the task. After all, Sam could be a little bitch when he wanted to be, and Dean figured tonight he had a reason to act childish.

“He went upstairs about thirty minutes ago,” Bobby answered with a small shrug. “I tried to ask him what he was doin’, but he wouldn’t answer me.” Honestly, Bobby figured that Sam was just acting up because Dean wasn’t home. He did that a lot, and Bobby didn’t think tonight was any different. “Sam was mad the second you left, so I figured bothering him would just put him in a worse mood. Besides, I thought you were on a date. Why are you back so early?”

Yeah, Dean could understand what would make Bobby think that. Sam was always pissy when Dean suggested that he go out and act like a normal guy. Usually, it just resulted in Dean staying in with his brother, but Brady had insisted, and Dean liked that. Not that it had actually gotten him anywhere since Sam text him. And he was pretty sure that he had this one in the bag tonight. “Sammy text me about ten minutes ago,” Dean answered with a small shrug. He didn’t need to disclose any more information than that. After all, he still hadn’t told Bobby about Sam’s offer to give him a hand in his sexual department.

Without waiting for Bobby’s response, Dean moved up the stairs, frowning when he saw their bedroom was empty. “Sammy?!” he called out, noticing there was a light on in the bathroom. However, when he moved to open the door, he realized that it was locked. “Sam, open the door. It’s Dean.” When he received no answer, Dean started to worry. “Sam, come on, you text me that you needed me – well, I’m here now. Open the door.” Again, there was no answer. “Dammit Sam, open the fucking door! This isn’t funny!”

When he received no answer still, Dean jogged down the stairs and grabbed his lock-pick kit, frowning at Bobby before he headed back up the stairs. It took him about three seconds to pick the lock, not worrying about being stealthy because Sam couldn’t stop him from opening this door so there was no point. He was prepared to scream at his brother and tell him what a pain in the ass he was – that was until he saw the state Sam was in.

His brother was slumped over the toilet, blood covering his lower arms and Dean’s pocket knife on the floor beside him, the handle red with Sam’s blood. Sam wasn’t moving and his eyes were closed, which caused panic to rise in Dean’s chest. Quickly, Dean moved to his brother’s side, kneeling on the floor and feeling for a pulse. It was there, but it was weak. “Dammit,” Dean breathed out, gathering Sam into his arms and hustling down the stairs. He needed to get Sam to a hospital and he needed to do it fast.

He didn’t give Bobby time to ask about what was happening before he was shouting, “Sammy fucking cut his wrists. I’m takin’ him to the hospital. You can follow me if you want to, but I don’t have time to wait.” With that, Dean was out the door and gently laying Sam in the Impala. He drove well over the speed limit on the way there, glad that he didn’t get pulled over by any police officers looking to make their quota for the month. It took him about ten minutes to get to the hospital, and after that everything was a blur.

Sam was taken from him and hauled away on a gurney, two male nurses holding Dean back because he wanted to go with Sam. Luckily, Bobby came running into the hospital before Dean could execute his plan to beat these men to pulps and follow after his brother. Instead, Dean allowed Bobby to lead him to one of the chairs in the waiting room and have him take a seat. There, Dean filled out the proper paperwork as they waited for one of the doctors to come out and give them information on Sam’s current condition.

As he waited, Dean thought about why Sam would do something like this. Sure, they’d had a rough go, but things were looking up. John had been out of their lives for the last four years and as far as Dean knew, they were happy. There was that little hiccup a few nights ago where Sam had tried to cross a line, but he thought they were passed that, too. God, he hoped this didn’t have anything to do with that. Dean didn’t know what he would do if Sam had attempted to commit suicide because Dean shot him down when he offered himself up in a sexual manner.

It felt like hours had passed before the doctor came to speak with them, but a quick glance at the clock told Dean that it had only been about forty-five minutes. He stood as soon as the doctor came close to them, nodding in greeting when he introduced himself as Dr. Garrison. “Is he okay?” Dean asked, his heart working overtime in his fear for Sam’s life. Damn kid had that effect on Dean, he supposed.

A small smile came to Dr. Garrison’s lips when Dean asked about his brother. It was obvious the older boy cared about the kid. “As of right now, Sam’s condition is stable. He’s still unconscious, but the wounds have already clotted.” Again, he smiled when he saw the pure relief flood over the young man’s face. “Perhaps we should step into my office and talk a little more about your brother.”

Bobby chose to stay in the waiting room while Dean followed the doctor, letting Dean have some privacy. After all, Bobby wasn’t Sam’s blood – he was his family, sure, but he wasn’t his blood. Dean needed to handle this situation on his own. Of course, Bobby would be there for him if he needed him, but he wasn’t going to make any decisions on this matter.

Once they were in Dr. Garrison’s office, Dean took the seat that was offered to him, his hands clasped tightly together where he had them hanging between his legs. Dr. Garrison took a seat behind his desk and allowed his hands to rest on the desktop. “The good news is that Sam decided to cut his wrists horizontally, which is luckily ineffective. The artery there is large and when cut in the manner that your brother did so, the artery actually constricted and drew back into the wound. By doing so, it stopped the blood from flowing too quickly, giving you time to get Sam the help he needed.”

Allowing Dean time to process what he’d just said, Dr. Garrison continued, “Now, there are some precautions that we need to take with a case like Sam’s. First, he’ll need to stay for 72 hours so he can be evaluated. If he’s considered a danger to himself, then we may have to take some measures to keep him from trying this again.” A part of Dr. Garrison didn’t think that Sam would try this again, but he hadn’t spoken to the kid yet, so he wasn’t going to jump to conclusions.

Right now, Dean didn’t care about the measures that were going to need to be taken in order to make sure Sam didn’t try this again. All he wanted to do was see his brother. He needed to talk to Sam and figure out why he had tried something like this. And the good doctor wouldn’t have to worry about Sam trying something like this again, because Dean was going to make damn sure that his brother didn’t ever do anything to put himself in danger ever again! “Can I see him?” Dean asked, glancing up at the doctor as he waited for his response.

He was allowed to see Sam, but he was warned that the younger man wasn’t awake yet. That was fine with Dean – he needed time to cool off anyway. After all, he didn’t think that yelling at Sam was a good idea right now. When he walked into the room, he could see that Sam was strapped down to the bed, both his wrists covered with pristine white bandages and an IV drip in his left hand. The monitors beside the bed beeped out a slow rhythm, letting the nurses and doctors know that Sam’s heart was beating and his blood pressure was stable at the moment. Sighing, Dean pulled the chair closer to Sam’s bed, taking a seat at waiting for his little brother to open his eyes.

By the time Sam finally woke up, three hours had passed and Dean had been starting to worry. The younger man frowned as he blinked slowly, taking in his surroundings. “D’n,” he slurred, trying to move his limbs, but soon realizing that he was unable to do so. Panic overtook him as he continued to try and move, the younger man worried that John had gotten a hold of him again and he wasn’t safe. “Dean!” he called out again, jumping slightly when a hand landed on his shoulder.

It was obvious that Sam was scared by being bound, but there was nothing Dean could do about it. When the nurses came in to make sure Sam’s IV was still going and if he’d woken up yet, Dean had all but begged them to let his brother go, but there were rules that needed to be followed, and no one was budging. So, Dean was just going to have to comfort Sam as best as he could while he was in his bindings. “Sammy, hey,” he whispered, his hand stroking along Sam’s arm. “M’right here, don’t worry. S’okay, Sammy.”

Now that Sam knew Dean was here, it was easier to calm down, the heart monitor going back to beeping at a steady pace once more. “What happened?” Sam asked, having trouble remembering the last few hours. “Where are we? Why can’t I move?!” The last thing he remembered was being left alone with Bobby while Dean went off on his date with the slutty little waitress. After that, everything was kind of fuzzy.

Sam didn’t remember?! His brother didn’t remember what the hell he had been thinking when he nearly took his own damn life?! “You tried to kill yourself, Sam,” Dean answered calmly. “We’re in a hospital and you can’t move because you’re strapped into that bed so you don’t do it again.” Sighing, Dean took a seat once more, pressing his thumb and index finger against the bridge of his nose to stave off the headache that was forming. “What the hell were you thinking, Sammy?” he asked, needing to know the answer. “Why would you do something like this?!”

Oh yeah – now Sam remembered why he was here. But he didn’t know how to explain it to Dean. After all, it wasn’t like he could just come out and tell Dean that he did it because he wanted to get him away from his date. Then again, maybe it was the best option – if he was truthful about his feelings, maybe Dean would get the picture. Biting into his bottom lip, Sam explained, “I told you I didn’t want you to leave.”

A deep frown came to Dean’s lips when Sam explained why he’d done it. However, before he could say anything, a nurse rushed into the room to make sure Sam was all right. This conversation wasn’t over though – Dean was going to get to the bottom of this. He didn’t care how long it took. Sam couldn’t just do shit like this when he didn’t get his way, and Sam needed to know that.

**~~**

After his 72 hour surveillance was complete, Dr. Garrison deemed that Sam was not a threat to himself or others and was allowed to be discharged as long as he agreed to see a psychiatrist regularly. That’s why Dean was sitting in a stuffy waiting room while his brother was in the next room getting his brain picked by a doctor who probably had no fucking clue what he was talking about. Dean hated this.

Dr. James Ellicott could tell Sam suffered from emotional trauma the minute he started breaking down the younger man’s walls. This was their third session together and Sam was already opening up to him. And it was easy for Dr. Ellicott to diagnose the young man. He’d seen it a lot in his years of practice and he knew how to treat Sam. Unfortunately, it was going to be hard to convince Sam’s brother that steps needed to be taken in order to cure Sam. Today was their last mandatory session – if Sam didn’t want to see him again after this, he didn’t have to. Of course, Dr. Ellicott thought that it would be beneficial for the younger man, but he could force him to come back.

Now, he was meeting with Dean to go over his findings. He’d taped Sam’s past sessions and he was letting Dean hear what they had spoken about. _“Sam, why don’t you tell me about your brother? What kind of a relationship do you and Dean have?”_ It was Dr. Ellicott’s voice, and it had Dean listening intently for his brother’s answer.

_“Dean and I are fine,” Sam answered. “He…he’s a good brother. When my dad was…hurting me, he got me out of there and took us to Bobby’s place. If it wasn’t for him, I’d probably still be with my dad worrying about what he was going to do to me every night. I owe my life to Dean. And…he always tells me that it’s his job to protect me, but I just want to let him know how much I appreciate everything he does for me.”_

The tape changed and they were talking about the recent incident that landed Sam here in the first place. Dr. Ellicott’s voice came over the recorder once more. _“So, Sam, let’s talk about why you tried to take your own life. What brought that on? Was it just something that you’d been thinking about doing and you just got around to it? Or was it a sudden decision made because of something that happened in your life?”_

There was a sigh over the recorder and the sound of rustling as though someone was moving on the couch before Sam’s voice spoke up. _“Dean met a girl at one of the diners we ate at – a waitress. She asked him out and he agreed. I begged him not to go. I didn’t want him to leave me alone with Bobby, but he wouldn’t listen. He went anyway. I guess I was just…trying to get Dean to come back.”_

Dean blinked up at Dr. Ellicott when he stopped the tape and put it back in his desk. “So…what does this have to do with anything?” Dean asked, confused as to why the doctor was making him listen to Sam’s sessions. He didn’t really need to know what Sam had said in his sessions as long as Sam was getting better, which he seemed to be. After all, as long as Dean didn’t go out with anyone, Sam was fine. He hadn’t tried to commit suicide again and they were doing fine. Dean was just glad this was Sam’s last session. He hated coming here.

If Dean needed to know why this was concerning to a psychiatrist, maybe he needed to seek help as well. “I think I may have figured out why your brother went to such extremes to get you to come home that night,” Dr. Ellicott explained. “He is very… _dependent_ on you. Sam feels that you are the key to his happiness and fulfillment, therefore I feel he has developed a fixation with you.” There was a name for this condition, and Dr. Ellicott needed Dean to understand that his brother needed to be treated – and he needed to start treatment as soon as possible. “We call it obsessive love disorder. And if it goes untreated, there could be dire consequences, not only for Sam, but for you as well since you seem to be his object of obsession.”

Obsessive love disorder? Was this guy serious?! Dean could admit that he and Sam had a closer relationship than most brothers, but that was because they were all they had left. If this guy wanted to sit here and try to slap a label on it, then he could, but that didn’t mean Dean had to listen. Sighing, Dean pushed himself out of his seat, giving his head a small shake. “Look Doc, I don’t mean any disrespect or anything, but Sammy’s not comin’ back here. He’s done with his mandatory sessions and we’re just gonna try to get back into our normal routine.”

Although Dr. Ellicott warned Dean that it wasn’t a good idea, Dean didn’t budge. Instead, he shook the man’s hand and headed out of the building, smiling at his brother when he reached the Impala. “C’mon Sammy, let’s get home,” he suggested, peeling out of the lot and getting them back to Bobby’s house in record time. He couldn’t believe they were finally done with that shit – it was a real relief. Before Sam got out of the car, Dean stopped him, wanting to make sure he was all right with everything that had happened over the last few weeks. “Hey Sammy, are you okay? I mean, I know it’s been a bad month, but everything’s all right, huh?”

Smiling, Sam nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” he assured Dean. “I was thinking that since it’s summer vacation, we could stay up late tonight and watch the horror movie marathon that’s on tonight. I mean, Bobby’s not gonna be here for the next few days because he’s going on that hunt, so we don’t have to worry about keeping him awake with the television.” Sam had been waiting all week to watch the marathon. He loved making fun of movies when they got something wrong about the things that go bump in the night. And when Dean was with him, he joined in, which made it so much more fun.

He couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiasm on Sam’s face and in his voice. Ruffling his brother’s hair, Sam assured him, “Of course we can watch the horror movie marathon. It’s not like we have to be up early tomorrow or anything. We can sleep all day if you want to.” And Dean didn’t think that was a bad idea actually. He was beat. This last month had taken its toll on him and he wanted to just sit back and relax with his brother again. He wanted everything to go back to the way it had been before Sam put his hand on his crotch and offered to give him something no brother should ever offer.

**~~**

The next few weeks seemed to pass on in a blur. For some reason, Dean couldn’t get what Dr. Ellicott had said out of his mind. Sam had been acting strangely lately, always asking Dean where he was going and what he was doing. It was like he was making sure that Dean wasn’t going out and talking with another girl, or something. Maybe Sam really did have this disorder that Dr. Ellicott had been talking about. So, Dean did some research on the topic and realized that it basically fit Sam to a T. 

God, he was so screwed. Dean could see how Sam would look at him, the lust in his eyes barely repressed and he didn’t know what to do about it. He knew it was only a matter of time before Sam tried to pull another stunt like trying to give him a hand job or even going as far as to try hurting himself again. In almost all of the cases that Dean had read up on, the person who was unlucky enough to get fixated on was either raped or murdered if the disorder went unchecked like Sam’s had been.

And Dean would be damned if he would allow Sam to turn into their father. So, there was only one solution that Dean could see – he had to let Sam have what he wanted. After all, his brother had already started going into a state of depression, the playful light in his eyes all but gone. Not to mention that every time Dean left the house, Sam would call him repeatedly to ask when he was getting home and what he was doing – what was taking him so long.

Sam was attached to the extreme and there wasn’t anything Dean could do to deter it now. This was going to happen and Dean just had to make sure it happened on his terms. But he wasn’t going to make the first move. He was going to let Sam take that step and then he would lay down the ground rules. After all, he would be damned if he let Sam control him because of this. Dean was older and he was more level-headed than Sam when it came to this thing, so he was going to call the shots.

Sure enough, a few nights later, Sam made his move. They were sitting on the couch watching television while Sam finished his homework and his brother started scooting closer. Dean could feel his heart start beating faster in his chest and he just wanted to bolt out of the room and leave Sam there alone, but he knew he couldn’t. This needed to be done and it needed to be done now. Luckily, Sam chose to make his move when Bobby wasn’t around because Dean knew there was no way he could go through with this if Bobby was here.

His whole body tensed when Sam cupped him through his jeans, Dean’s Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, looking over at his brother. “What’re you doin’ Sammy?” Dean asked, though he knew exactly what Sam was planning. Of course, he couldn’t make that too obvious because Sam had no idea what was going to happen here and Dean wanted to keep it that way for as long as he could.

Really, Sam had tried to make these feelings go away. He tried not to look at Dean with the lust in his eyes and he tried to remember how freaked out Dean had been when he cupped his cock that night, but he couldn’t help it. His need for Dean grew every day and it wasn’t enough to just be brothers anymore. Of course, Sam knew that Dean wanted this too, but he was too afraid to admit it. And that was fine. Sam could take the lead if he wanted him to. “M’sorry,” Sam mumbled, though he didn’t move his hand. “I tried Dean. I tried so hard to make these feelings go away, but I can’t.”

Before Dean knew it, he had a lapful of Sam and his brother’s lips were crushing against his. It was sloppy and wet and it was obvious that Sam had no idea what he was doing here, but this was Sam and Dean was going to do everything in his power to take the hurt out of Sam’s eyes that had been there a minute ago. Pushing against Sam’s shoulders slightly, Dean gave his head a small shake, gasping in breaths. “Hey, Sammy, stop for a second.”

“Please don’t push me away again,” Sam begged, lacing his brother’s fingers with his own and moving to kiss Dean again. He couldn’t stop. Sam knew that he couldn’t stand another rejection tonight. If Dean didn’t want this, Sam wasn’t sure how he was going to react. All he knew was that if he couldn’t have Dean, he didn’t want to be around anymore. The same thoughts swirled in his head as the night he took his brother’s pocket knife and tried to kill himself. “Please Dean, I can’t keep this bottled up anymore. I know you want me, too. It’s not bad! We can do this and it’ll be fine. Please?!”

Again, he pressed their lips together, his hands moving to grip at Dean’s shirt, tugging at the fabric so he could pull his brother closer. He wanted their clothes off, but he wasn’t going to push too far. After all, he needed Dean to tell him he wanted this first. “Please Dean…tell me I’m right. Tell me you want me. I…I can’t not be with you. And the thought of someone else being with you makes me sick. If we’re not together, then I don’t want to live. I _need_ you, Dean!” Shoving his hands up Dean’s shirt, Sam moaned softly as he tweaked the older man’s surprisingly perky nipples.

Listening to Sam beg like that had something in Dean’s chest hurting. He hated it when Sam was in any kind of pain – emotional or physical – and it was in his nature to make it better. However, when Sam exclaimed that he didn’t want to live if they weren’t together, it freaked Dean out and he almost stopped this whole thing. But he had a feeling that doing that would only make things worse, so he took a different approach. Grabbing Sam’s wrists, Dean pulled his hands away from his nipples, pushing Sam’s hands off his body completely. “Sammy, don’t say that!” he scolded, needing to make Sam realize that kind of talk wasn’t going to get him anywhere. “Do you understand me?”

When he only received a small whine of disapproval because his hands had been pulled away, Dean gripped Sam’s chin and forced him to pay attention to what he was saying. “I said do you understand me?” A small smile came to his lips when Sam nodded, Dean returning the gesture. “Now, I’m not gonna push you away, all right? I’ve been thinking about…this, and I realized that you were right. I want it too.” God, there was something he never thought would come out of his mouth. It was amazing what he would do for Sam, though. 

He didn’t give Sam a chance to get too excited before he started telling Sam how things were going to be. “But we’re doing this my way. Which means we’re going to be taking things slow.” Dean needed to have things taken slow because if they moved too fast, he wasn’t sure he would be able to keep it up. It was bad enough that he would have to eventually give himself to Sam completely – if that was the price to keep Sam sane, then he was going to be doing it at his own pace. “So…nothing too serious tonight. We’ll work up to it.”

Slowly, Dean pushed Sam off his lap, making sure to be gentle about it. After all, he was a man and he hadn’t gotten any action in a while. Every time he tried to jerk off even, Sam was there, making sure he couldn’t get any gratification unless he let Sam watch, which hadn’t been something Dean was comfortable with. So yeah, he was hard because Sam had been sitting on his lap and grinding that pert little ass against him, and he didn’t want his brother to get the wrong idea. They weren’t going to be having sex any time soon that was for sure.

That was progress. Sam could definitely work with that. “Okay,” he smiled, his hand moving to lace his fingers with Dean’s once more. “So…how slow are we taking it?” he asked, biting into his bottom lip before he met his brother’s gaze. “Because…I mean, I want to kiss you again. If you don’t mind.” Sam knew he wasn’t all that great at it, but Dean could teach him how he liked it and Sam could get better. He was a quick learner, after all.

Dean could handle kissing. It wasn’t like Sam was asking to fuck his mouth or anything. It was just kissing. “Yeah Sammy, we can kiss,” he assured the younger man, leaning in about ninety percent of the way and waiting for Sam to come the other ten. The younger man didn’t hesitate in doing so either, his lips eagerly crushing against Dean’s, tongue pushing into his brother’s mouth and mapping out the hot cavern.

When all was said and done, it hadn’t been too unpleasant. Sure, Dean was having a hard time getting over the fact that he was doing this with his _baby brother_ but Sam seemed a lot happier. And he really did catch on quick because by the end of the night, he was basically kissing Dean like a fucking pro. He was a little ashamed to admit that he almost broke his own rule and allowed it to go further in his temporary state of bliss. Of course, Dean quickly caught himself before he could put his hands on Sam’s body anywhere under his clothes.

By the time they went to bed, their lips were kiss swollen and red, but Sam didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he pressed another kiss to Dean’s lips and one to his cheek before he climbed into the bed and cuddled up against Dean. He slept a lot more peacefully than he had any other night too now that he knew where they both stood. Dean was finally admitting his feelings, and Sam knew it was only a matter of time before Dean was once and for all, one hundred percent, truly his.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Daddy, Please, No  
 **Author:** Hunter King ()  
 **Artist:**   
**Pairing:** Dean/Sam, John/Sam (non-con)  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Word Count:** ~85,000  
 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The characters in this fic are the property of Eric Kripke & Co. I am only using them for my own twisted amusement.  
 **Warnings:** rape/non-con, underage sexual situations, dub-con, insane!sam, character death (not Sam or Dean)  
 **Summary:** After Mary's death, John is very lonely, and he can't help but notice how attracted he is to Sam (who is eight). So, feeling absolutely disgusted with himself, John attempts to drink his feelings away. But that doesn't help; only makes them stronger, and harder to control. One night, while he's drunk out of his mind, he goes into Sam's room and starts touching him. And once he's started, he does it every night, his actions getting bolder until he finally rapes Sam (who is now eleven). After the rape, Sam becomes anti-social, and jumpy. He won't let anyone but John touch him (only because he's scared to flinch away from John). Not even Dean. And Dean noticed it, and goes to investigate, trying to get Sam to open up to him. And when he doesn't, he scopes out his room at night, finally catching John in the act. Once John's been caught, Dean takes Sam and runs to Bobby's house, explaining the whole thing to the older hunter, so when John comes to retrieve his boys, Bobby tells him to get off his property before he gives him a third hole. Over the years, Sam develops an obsession with Dean because he was the one who saved him from their father.  
 **Author's Notes:** I want to send out a huge thank you to for offering her help in beta'ing this fic. It wouldn't be nearly as pretty as it is without her help. And to for taking a chance on my fic and offering lovely art when I thought no one was going to choose it! And finally, last but not least, I want to thank the wonderful mods at for allowing me to participate in the challenge once again this year! :D

The next morning, Dean woke to a lapful of Sam and his lips being thoroughly ravaged by the younger man. “Sammy,” he groaned softly between kisses, trying to get his lips free so he could get a few words in. After all, this wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind when he said he wanted to take things slow. Sure, the kissing was fine, but he didn’t want Sam in his lap kissing him like this in the morning right after he woke up because his morning wood was pressing against Sam’s ass and Dean knew his little brother was probably getting the wrong idea. Dean _really_ wasn’t ready to cross that line with Sam yet; even if Sam was making it clear that he was ready for it.

“Dean,” Sam moaned back, tongue pushing into his brother’s mouth like he had learned Dean approved of last night and massaging Dean’s own. He loved kissing Dean. And yeah, he wanted to go further, but he was going to respect his brother’s wishes to take things slow. Even if that’s the last thing he wanted. Dean was making it kind of hard right now though with the way his body was responding, making Sam’s body scream back in response. Yeah, he was horny – it was early in the morning and every now and then he did get a stiffy. Today was one of those days and Sam knew exactly why. It was because of his brother. No one else could get Sam going like this. “God Dean…so good.”

That was the problem. It _was_ good. And Dean didn’t want it to be good. He kind of hoped that Sam would have gotten this out of his system last night and left him alone for a while like he had done the last time when Dean rejected him, but he knew it had been a stretch. After all, now that Sam knew them being together was possible, it was only logical that he was going to pursue Dean. Honestly, Dean didn’t know if he would have the strength to deny his brother much longer. After all, if Sam asked, Dean would probably say yes without hesitation. That’s just the way it was with them. Whatever Sammy wanted, Sammy got – it had always been that way.

Still, that didn’t mean Dean wasn’t going to hold it off for as long as he could. He didn’t want to have sex with Sam – not right now. Fortunately, it seemed that Sam was only interested in kissing right now, which Dean could do. But Dean couldn’t help but be a little worried because Sam was hard against him and growing harder. Dean honestly couldn’t remember a time where he found Sam with a boner – not ever. His brother didn’t get turned on because of what happened to him; at least he hadn’t, anyway. Now he was _rock hard_ and Dean knew it was because of him. “Sammy, we should…s-slow down.”

Slow down? That’s the last thing Sam wanted to do. Not when his body was reacting like this. He’d never felt this turned on before and Dean wanted him to stop? Or well, slow down, which basically meant stop. Sam wasn’t sure he could. Really, he didn’t know why Dean wanted to take this so slowly anyway. If he wanted to be with Sam, it shouldn’t matter how long it took – he should just _want_. Like Sam did. “Please, Dean, I can’t,” Sam whimpered, giving his head a small shake. “I’ve never…felt like this. Just… _want_ so badly. Please?”

And there it was – Dean’s undoing. His brother was begging him for this and what kind of a man would he be if he denied his little brother something he wanted so badly? But they weren’t going to have sex. Dean would get Sam off, sure, but they weren’t going to cross that line yet. He needed to figure things out before he took it that far. After all, he’d never been with a man before, let alone a virgin who had spent the better part of his childhood getting abused. Yeah, Dean _really_ needed to figure things out before he started something like that with Sam.

There were other things they could try, though. Like a shower. Dean felt all gross and sweaty anyway, so they could shower together. A quick hand job in the shower would hopefully hold Sam off for a few days. “Okay Sammy,” he whispered, giving his head a small nod. “Don’t worry – m’gonna take care of you.” Slowly, Dean removed Sam from his lap, shushing the younger man when Sam whimpered softly. “Let’s go hop in the shower. I’m all sweaty and gross and you look like you could use a shower too.”

A shower did sound nice. “Yeah, okay,” Sam answered with a nod, letting his brother know he was game for a shower. He moved off the bed, biting into his bottom lip when the action made his boxers rub against his hard, sensitive flesh. Sam didn’t hesitate to strip when he made it to the bathroom, watching as Dean turned on the water and started following suit. God, his brother’s body was amazing. Sure, Sam had seen Dean naked before, but he’d never taken the time to admire that body. Now, Sam was remedying that situation by keeping his eyes locked on every bit of skin that his brother revealed to him.

He could feel Sam’s eyes on him as he stripped out of his clothes, making Dean feel a little uncomfortable. This was all a little out of his comfort zone, but it apparently didn’t seem to faze his brother. His own eyes dragged over the long expanse of naked skin that was standing next to him, Dean telling himself that he was just checking to make sure Sam didn’t have any injuries. In actuality, his brother wasn’t a bad looking kid. He would have been a catch for anyone. But for some reason, Sam wanted Dean, so he supposed he should consider himself lucky to have gotten such a hottie.

But he can’t let himself think like that. Right now, he just has to focus on getting Sam in the shower so he can take care of his little problem before they had downstairs to see what Bobby has in store for them today. It’s summer, so Bobby always has them out working on cars – or, he has Dean working on cars while Dean sends Sam to get his tools. Having Sam under a hood is never a good idea. The kid has no idea what he’s doing while he’s under there and he could probably cause a lot more damage than it was worth. So, he was the tool boy, as Dean liked to call him.

Once the water was at the right temperature, Dean ushered Sam into the shower, checking to make sure the door was locked before he climbed in behind Sam. The shower wasn’t exactly big – definitely not big enough to fit two people comfortably – but this is what they had and Dean was willing to work with it. His hands slid along the wall, reaching for the shampoo and pouring a nice amount into his palm before fisting his hands in Sam’s hair. The kid needed a haircut something fierce; Dean was sure that if he closed his eyes, he could imagine that he was washing a woman’s hair. It was so lush and thick – not something that should be on a man’s head.

As Dean washed his hair, Sam took the time to run his hands over his brother’s torso, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he reveled in how damn sexy Dean really was. Even on those few occasions when he saw Dean naked, Sam had never been allowed to touch. It was something that he always hated and now he was going to remedy that situation. His fingers dug into the ridges of Dean’s abdomen, feeling his brother’s muscles ripple under his hands. God, he wanted Dean so much right now. Sam’s cock was twitching with anticipation, but it seemed that even now, Dean was looking to take things slowly.

But Sam had the upper hand here. They were both in this small shower, completely naked, and Dean was focused on washing Sam’s hair instead of what Sam himself was doing. And Sam knew that Dean wanted this too. After all, the evidence was staring him right in the face – all he had to do was look down and see his brother’s rock hard member bobbing with every move he made. Sam just wanted to help – he wanted to make Dean feel good. It was something that he was really good at, and he wanted to show Dean that just because he’d needed a little coaching when it came to kissing, that didn’t mean he was an idiot in every other aspect of this relationship.

Before Sam could make his move though, Dean was maneuvering him so that he could rinse the shampoo out of his hair, Sam quickly sealing his eyes shut so he wouldn’t get anything in them. Since he couldn’t do what he wanted to, he decided to just relax and feel his brother’s fingers threading through his hair. It felt really good, and the fact that his eyes were closed, stealing one of his senses, only heightened the feel of Dean’s movements. Blinking away the water that was trailing down his face, Sam turned towards his brother, one hand moving to snake behind Dean’s head as he pulled him down into another sloppy kiss.

It wasn’t the best kiss – soapy water from the shampoo getting into their mouths, but it was one of the most memorable moments in Sam’s life. “Dean,” he moaned softly, nipping at his brother’s plush bottom lip. “I want you. Please…I-I know you said that we should take it slow, but Dean…I can see you want me too. You can’t deny it when it’s staring me right in the face.” Taking a chance, Sam reached for his brother’s cock, biting into his bottom lip once more when his fingers wrapped around the velvety steel. “Please Dean, just…I don’t want to wait. Please?”

Dammit, Dean had said he wasn’t going to do this. He hadn’t planned on taking his brother right here and now, but Sam was begging so pretty and it was just so hard to say no to Sam. But if they were doing this, it was going to be on Dean’s terms. “Okay Sammy,” he whispered softly, biting into his bottom lip as Sam started moving his hand along his shaft. Fuck it felt amazing! Then again, Dean could have been imagining that because he hadn’t been touched by another person in such a long time. After all, the last time he tried to get some action, his brother had attempted to commit suicide and had to spend a few months in therapy.

Slowly, Dean’s hand rested on Sam’s shoulder, the older man biting into his bottom lip as he worked out this thing in his head. Sam wasn’t going to let up and this was the only way for Dean to ensure that Sam was okay – by giving him what he wanted. His free hand moved to card through Sam’s hair, leaning in to press their lips together. The minute Sam moaned against him, Dean thought he wasn’t going to be able to do this. It was just too much. This was his _brother_. This was _Sam_!

Then again, wasn’t that why he was in this mess in the first place? Because this was Sam? Because Sam wanted this and Dean didn’t have the ability to tell his brother no? He was pulled from his thoughts when Sam gripped his biceps and pulled him impossibly closer. It was then that Dean realized there was no going back. This was happening because he needed to let Sam know that he was going to be with him no matter how and he had to admit that he did kind of want it to happen. Sure, Bobby was only a few rooms down, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care all that much right now.

As the kiss continued, Dean’s hand that had been on Sam’s shoulder slid downwards, resting on the small of Sam’s back as he tugged his brother in closer. Sam’s back arched, pushing his chest tightly up against Dean’s as Sam broke the kiss for much needed oxygen. “Dean…” he moaned softly, his forehead pressing against Dean’s cheek as he panted out his breaths. He wanted this – God, he wanted it so bad, but he had to admit that he was a little scared. He’d never been with anyone before – unless you counted his father, which Sam didn’t – and he had no idea what he was doing. Sure, he’d seen porn, but that was different from the real thing, Sam was sure.

“M’right here, baby,” Dean whispered, pressing his lips to Sam’s forehead as his hands ran up and down Sam’s back in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. He could tell that Sam was scared, but he was going to make it so good for him. He would never hurt Sam and his brother had to know that. Still, even if he really wanted it right now, he wasn’t going to push Sam into doing something he didn’t want. “Are you sure you want this, Sammy? We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Sam’s eyes snapped up to his brother, the younger man giving his head an adamant shake. “No, Dean I want this!” Sam assured him, his fingers gripping Dean’s biceps tighter, no doubt leaving marks. “I do. I want this so bad. S’just…what if I’m not any good at it?" He knew his brother had experience – would have been an idiot if he thought that Dean was a virgin and he didn’t want to mess this up. 

Hearing Sam’s insecurities leak through about how this was going to end up made Dean feel horrible. His brother had no good experiences with sex. Hell, he barely had _any_ experience and what he did have was ugly and cruel. Dean was going to show Sam that sex could be good and it could be an amazing, fun thing. “Hey,” he whispered, giving his head a small shake as he leaned in and pressed his lips against Sam’s once more. “You’re gonna be great. M’gonna show you how good it can be, Sammy.”

With that, Dean gently shoved Sam against the shower wall, kissing him again. Taking his time to map out the contours of his brother’s mouth, Dean moved his hands over Sam’s body, feeling every little muscle ripple under his ministrations. Sam was _hot_. His body was still growing and Dena knew that he was just going to get sexier and sexier as the years went on. He almost couldn’t believe that someone like Sam wanted to be with someone like him, but he wasn’t going to think too much about it because right now, he needed to have his full attention on Sam and making the younger man feel good.

As far as he was concerned, this was Sam’s first time. The shit that had happened before they fled to Bobby’s house didn’t count. This was Sam’s day to lose his virginity and dammit, Dean was going to make it feel so good. Slowly, he moved his lips across Sam’s cheek, sliding down his chin to mouth at Sam’s neck. He sucked water droplets off Sam’s throat and allowed his hands to squeeze the firm globes of his brother’s ass, kneading the flesh there. A small smile came to his lips when Sam moaned and pushed himself closer, Dean figuring that he was doing something right at least.

He had no idea why Sam thought Dean knew what he was doing in this situation. Honestly, he was just as lost as Sam was. Sure, he’d had sex with women, but this was different. Sam wasn’t a woman, obviously, and while he had cared about the women he was with, his feelings for Sam ran way deeper than anything he had ever felt towards the girls he’d taken to bed. So yeah, Dean was trying to make it even better than anyone could possibly imagine and he didn’t want to fuck it up. 

Another deep moan escaped Sam when Dean closed his lips over his pulse point. Sam was learning very quickly that his neck was a sensitive area and Dean seemed to be taking advantage of this new knowledge. Not that Sam minded – it felt amazing. Experimentally, Sam rolled his hips against Dean’s, rubbing their cocks together. God, it was the sweetest, best feeling in the world and he just wanted to feel more of this. “Mmm…Dean…more, please?” Sam moaned, hand moving to the back of Dean’s head as he carded his fingers through the older man’s hair.

They needed to be quiet. Bobby was no doubt awake by now and if he knew what was going on, he’d probably kill them both. But it was turning out to look like Sam was a screamer and that wasn’t going to work in their favor. “Sammy, m’gonna keep goin’, but we have to be quiet. Bobby’s probably downstairs and we don’t want him to hear us, right?” Receiving the nod from Sam, Dean smiled, reaching for the soap and lathering up his hands. After all, they needed to use something as lube, and the soap coupled with the water seemed like as good a thing as any in Dean’s mind.

Now, it was true that Dean didn’t know much about gay sex, but he’d read somewhere while he was browsing the internet for porn that it hurt less for a guy to lose his virginity if he was lying on his stomach. Well, they weren’t really lying down here, but he figured that the same would apply even if they were standing. Pressing his hands against Sam’s hips, Dean slowly started turning Sam so that he was facing the wall. “Turn around for me, baby,” he instructed, pressing his body flush against Sam’s once the younger man did as he was told. “Hurts less this way.”

A shivering sigh left Sam’s lips when Dean pressed his body so close. They were actually going to do this. Sam couldn’t believe that he’d gotten Dean to go back on his word that they were going to take this slow so quickly. It had to have been some sort of record. Pressing his palms against the shower wall, Sam braced himself for the pain he knew was coming. Sure, Dean could be as gentle as he wanted, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t going to hurt. Sam knew that from experience. After all, it wasn’t like John had been brutal with the way he forced himself onto him – he’d never intentionally hurt Sam.

Dean trailed his lips along Sam’s neck and down his shoulder as he slowly circled his index finger around his brother’s rim. This was going to hurt. He was going to make it as painless as possible, but Sam was pretty much a virgin – he hadn’t been touched this intimately in over four years – and Dean knew that his brother was going to be tight. Keeping his movements slow still, Dean pushed his index finger past the tight ring of muscle, stopping once he breached Sam to the first knuckle. Again, he sucked at bit at his brother’s neck and shoulder, hoping that it would distract Sam from what he was doing.

When Dean pushed his finger in to the first knuckle, Sam hissed in a breath between pain and pleasure. His body was vibrating with want and this did feel good, but at the same time, it felt like he was being split in two. He remembered the feeling well from the first time John had forced his way inside him. Unlike Dean though, John hadn’t taken his time like this – he’d just thrust his finger in and got to work. Dean was at least being slow and gentle about it. And he appreciated it – really, he did, but he wanted more. 

After a few seconds, Sam pushed back against Dean’s finger, forcing his brother to go deeper. He felt Dean’s hand press between his shoulder blades, forcing him to stop moving. “Sammy, don’t,” he ordered, slowly wiggling his finger in deeper now that Sam had already pushed it almost all the way in. “My pace,” he breathed softly, his breaths panting out in his aroused state. “M’not gonna hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Sam argued, giving his head a small shake as he pressed his cheek to the cool shower wall in front of him. “Please Dean? We don’t have a lot of time. Bobby’s gonna start wondering where we are, and in case you forgot, the shower water doesn’t exactly stay hot too long.” Sam knew that he was pushing his luck, but he didn’t care. He wanted Dean now, and his brother – although sweet – was taking way too long.

It was true – the water had a tendency to go cold even before Dean was done with his ten minute scrub sometimes, so if he planned on staying in here long enough to fuck – no, not _fuck_ – make love to Sam, then the water was going to be cold long before that. “God Sammy,” he breathed, pressing his head against Sam’s shoulder as he thought of what he wanted to do here. Maybe sex in the shower wasn’t such a great idea. They should have waited until they were somewhere else – somewhere they didn’t have to worry about getting a blast of cold water if they didn’t hustle.

Pulling his finger out of Sam’s ass, Dean moved his hand to rest on Sam’s belly, holding the younger man flush against his body. He could feel Sam squirming against him and murmuring about why Dean had stopped, but he quickly hushed his little brother. He sucked the tender flesh of Sam’s neck into his mouth, tongue teasing the skin as he gave a small moan, feeling Sam pressing back against him. “Let me take care of you, baby.” Again, Dean suckled at Sam’s neck, his hips bucking forward as Sam pressed back against him, letting Sam know that he was definitely interested in making him feel good, even if that didn't mean sex right now.

As Dean bucked against him, Sam whimpered, his want for Dean intensifying though he continued to fight it. “No,” he argued, giving his head a small shake as if that would make his answer more convincing. “Dean...I want you to be inside me.” His cheeks reddened when he told Dean what he really wanted, but he had to get his point across. He'd been waiting for what seemed like forever and Dean was just teasing him right now. It was cruel.

Dean still didn’t understand what the difference was. He'd been about to do it, so Sam had to know that eventually, he was going to have sex with him. Just not right now. “Sammy, we can’t,” he whispered to Sam, one hand moving to comb through Sam’s wet hair while his other hand remained pressed against Sam’s stomach, fingers gently stroking Sam’s skin. “You were right. The water's gonna get cold, or Bobby's gonna come looking for us. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna leave you like this. There are other ways to get off than sex.”

Without giving Sam a chance to answer, Dean flipped him around so that they were facing each other once more, pushing Sam until his back was pressed tightly against the shower wall and then pinning him there with his body. His lips hovered over Sam’s for a brief second before he was ravaging Sam’s mouth, tongue tangling with Sam’s as he coaxed Sam’s tongue into his mouth, sucking on the muscle once he’d gotten his way. He moaned softly into the kiss, hips bucking against Sam’s gently so he didn’t spook the kid. He wanted this too, but there was a right time and a right place for it and now wasn't that time.

The way Dean had him pinned against the shower wall like this and was grinding against him had Sam mewling loudly, bucking his hips against Dean’s almost erratically in an attempt to make this desire burning inside him go away. He had never felt this kind of need in his whole life and he wanted it to stop; but Dean was right. Sam knew there was no way for them to have sex at the moment. The timing was all off and so was the location. But Sam was willing to let Dean figure out an alternative. “W-What are you doing?” Sam asked when Dean started rocking against him, sending pleasure shooting through his body.

Groaning softly, Dean pressed his cheek against Sam’s so he could whisper in Sam’s ear. “I think the technical term is called dry humping, Sammy,” he explained, picking up his pace in an attempt to get Sam even more worked up. His eyes squeezed closed in pleasure as he felt Sam bucking back against him, his face pressed tightly against Dean’s neck. Slowly, Dean moved one hand from the wall and carded his fingers through Sam’s hair, holding the younger man's head in place as he whispered, “S’okay Sammy. Just take what you need.”

There was only one problem with that statement; Sam didn’t know what he needed. All he knew was that this felt good and he didn’t want to stop. He moved somewhat reluctantly as he touched Dean, his fingers curling around the older Winchester's hips, pulling Dean against his body harder as he rocked against him. Deep moans broke from Sam’s lips as he felt Dean responding to him, hands moving up Dean’s back to dig into his shoulders, holding on tightly as he felt like his skin was getting tighter against his body. Before he knew what was happening, his balls were drawing up tightly against his body and he was messing Dean with his spunk, the water from the shower quickly washing Sam’s release down the drain.

For a few more minutes, Sam just stood there while Dean continued to rock against him, moaning once more when he felt Dean’s cock twitching moments before he came on Sam, their mixed spunk getting washed down the drain. Once Dean had come, he relaxed against Sam, letting his weight rest almost completely on his little brother, holding him against the wall still. “Mm…” he moaned as he kissed and licked Sam’s neck and shoulder, moving to grab the washcloth hanging on the rack. “Do you feel better now?”

Slowly, Sam nodded, letting Dean know he was feeling much better. “Y-Yeah,” he answered, biting into his lip as Dean ran the sudsy washcloth over his back and down his chest. “I feel a lot better. Thank you.” He wasn’t sure if it would have been better than sex, but it would have to do for now. After all, the water was already getting a bit chilly.

Once they were both cleaned up, Dean turned off the water and grabbed a towel that was sitting nearby, drying off Sam and then himself. “Let’s go get some breakfast,” Dean mumbled, slowly leading Sam into the bedroom and started rummaging around the room for anything that looked clean. As soon as they were both dressed, Dean headed down the stairs, making sure Sam was following him before he headed into the kitchen to see what Bobby had cooked up for breakfast.


	8. Chapter 8

“Don’t worry Bobby,” Dean grumbled, grabbing the book Bobby had been flipping through and putting it back where it belonged. “Sammy and I will be fine with you gone for a few hours. I mean, I’m twenty-one years old and Sammy’s seventeen. We’re trained hunters, and we know how to handle ourselves if we get into any trouble. So stop worrying about us and go pick up your girl.” He chuckled softly as he gave the older hunter a small shove, getting him closer to the door. “And don’t forget to pick her up some flowers. Maybe even chocolate if you’re planning on getting lucky.”

Ew – now there was gross thought. Giving his head a small shake to rid the image of Bobby hooking up with his date, Dean smiled at the older man once more. He looked happy. Dean knew that with everything that had been going on with Sam, Bobby hadn’t had a chance to do much for himself. Not that the older man dated a whole lot, but the new neighbor was a good looking woman and she had her eye on Bobby. Hell, if it hadn’t been for Dean, Bobby wouldn’t have even realized the woman was hitting on him. For being so smart, Bobby was about as dumb as a doornail when it came to women.

Although Bobby didn’t like the idea of leaving Sam and Dean alone even for a little while, he had agreed to go on this date. And Dean was practically pushing him out the door, so he figured Dean knew how much he needed this. Still, he was a little nervous. And there hadn’t been any activity from John lately, which had Bobby on edge. Maybe it would have been best to stay in for the night. “Are you sure?” he asked Dean, running his fingers through his thinning hair. Dean had insisted that he not wear a baseball cap tonight, so he felt a little naked now. “Because I can stay here with you boys. You know, in case you would happen to need me.”

Oh, they weren’t going to need him tonight. Dean was sure about that. He and Sam had been keeping each other satisfied with hand jobs and blowjobs over the last few months, but tonight he figured that it was time he finally gave in and made love to Sam like the kid had been begging him to do since they started this thing. And the only way they could do that was if Bobby wasn’t here tonight. “Yes Bobby, I’m sure,” Dean assured the older man. “You need to take time to yourself every now and then. It’s just a few hours. Sammy’s been yappin’ about some shark marathon on _Discovery Channel_ all week and we already ordered pizza. We’ll be fine. Now go.”

It took a few more minutes to finally get Bobby out of the house, but once he was gone, Dean made sure to lock the door and flick off the kitchen light. After all, they weren’t going to be downstairs, so there was no need for it to be on. The pizza had been a lie, but Bobby didn’t need to know that. Dean and Sam had plans to go to a diner down the street once they were finished ravaging each other, so it wasn’t like they were going to starve.

Almost as soon as he was in their room, Sam was on him, knocking Dean back against the door and crushing their lips together as it slammed shut. “Is he gone?” Sam asked when he broke for air, his fingers already working the fastenings of Dean’s jeans open. Honestly, even if Bobby wasn’t gone yet, Sam didn’t care – he’d been waiting patiently for this for months and now he wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of him and Dean.

Dean hissed in a breath when Sam’s hand brushed over his dick, the older man giving his head a shaky nod. “Y-Yeah Sammy, he’s gone,” he assured his brother, head falling back against the door as Sam dragged his jeans down to his thighs, his hand wrapping around Dean’s erect member and giving it a slow, teasing stroke. “Fuck Sam,” he breathed, biting into his bottom lip as his hips bucked into Sam’s touch on their own accord.

Before he let Sam push him too close to the edge, Dean shoved Sam’s hand away from his cock, giving his head a small shake as he grabbed Sam’s wrist when he went to put it right back. “Take my clothes off first,” he instructed, standing stock still as he waited for Sam to follow the order. Like the obedient little boy he was, Sam did as he was told, first removing Dean’s shirt and then yanking his pants and boxers down to his ankles in one go so Dean could step out of them. Once that was finished, Dean quickly did the same with Sam’s clothes, practically breaking the zipper on Sam’s hoodie in his haste to get his brother naked.

Their lips met again and Dean walked his brother back to the bed, shoving Sam onto the mattress as soon as he felt the back of his knees hit the frame. He didn’t think there was any reason to waste time now that they were alone and the opportunity to be together had presented itself. And since Sam didn’t argue, he figured they were both on the same page here.

As soon as Sam had all of Dean’s clothes off, Dean shoved Sam onto the bed, blanketing Sam’s body with his own, lips once again devouring Sam’s. Dean didn’t want the contact to ever stop and he sure as hell didn’t ever want to stop kissing Sam because he tasted so damn good. Finally, after so long of having to wait and not being able to have what he wanted, Dean was allowed to explore Sam’s body properly, and he planned on doing just that. Pulling back so they could both get some much needed air, Dean turned his attention to kissing every inch of Sam’s skin, taking advantage of the fact that Sam was naked and left completely exposed for Dean.

When Dean started in on his neck, Sam’s back arched off the bed as he moaned softly, letting Dean know this was a good place to torture Sam for a while. It was clear that Dean was experienced, which was a little intimidating, though Sam wasn’t going to let it get to him. As long as he didn’t think about Dean with other people, he didn't have to worry about the burning pit of jealousy that always pooled low in his gut and made him miserable all day. “Ungh…Dean,” he whispered into Dean’s ear as Dean started working on his collarbone, Sam’s fingers carding through Dean’s short hair.

A few more nips and kisses to Sam’s collarbone and Dean was moving on, lips sliding down Sam’s chest, teasing one nipple, then the other. He then slid lower, nipping around Sam’s navel before dipping his tongue inside briefly, holding Sam’s hips down when he tried to buck up and get friction against his cock, which elicited a small whimper from the younger man. “Shh…” Dean whispered softly as he pressed a kiss on each side of Sam’s hips. “I’m gonna take care of you, baby. Just be patient.”

Although Sam believed Dean was going to take care of him, he wasn’t sure if he could be patient. The sexual tension had been building between them for months and now that they were both naked and so close to having sex, Sam was nearly losing his mind. It was strange because he had never really been interested in sex like all of the other men in his school. Probably because of what his father had done to him, but Dean just brought out his lustful side. He knew the appeal Dean was getting from making him wait, but he didn’t appreciate it at all. “Dean, please…ungh…please?” he begged softly, biting into his bottom lip to stifle some of the more embarrassing noises threatening to break from him. 

Again, Dean shushed Sam, promising that he was going to get there in good time. He had plans for Sam that were going to take a while to execute. But in the end, Sam would be well-sated and he would probably thank Dean for making him feel so damn amazing. Figuring that he had made Sam wait long enough and he deserved at least _some_ kind of reward, Dean dipped his head and took just the tip of Sam’s cock into his mouth, sucking softly as he tongued the slit playfully. He had to hold Sam’s hips down again because he didn’t want the younger man choking him, but he was all right with that. It meant he could go at his own pace, which is exactly what he wanted. 

Another deep groan was ripped from Sam’s throat when Dean took his dick into his mouth. Just the thought of Dean’s full, plush lips wrapped around his cock was enough to make Sam come and now that it was actually happening, Sam didn’t stand a chance. But it wasn’t enough. Dean wasn’t giving him enough to let him come, which dragged another small whimper out of him as Sam once again carded his fingers through Dean’s hair. “D-Dean…please…I need…please?” Sam whimpered, trying to move his hips, but Dean had them pinned to the mattress tightly. 

Slowly, Dean took more of Sam into his mouth, moaning around the younger man’s length, a wide smile coming to his lips when he heard Sam moaning again. He kept up the slow pace, taking only a few inches of Sam in at a time and stopping for a few seconds to tease Sam before he took more in until he reached the base of Sam’s shaft, the head of Sam’s cock bottoming out against the back of Dean’s throat. Another smile came to his lips when Sam nearly howled with pleasure as Dean swallowed around his shaft, giving Sam as much pleasure as he possibly could without making him climax too early. Then again, Sam was young and he had been waiting for this for a while, so there was a chance Dean could make him come more than once this evening, so he wasn’t sure why he was so worried about it.

His body was on fire and Sam was sure he was going to die before the night was over. Dean was hitting all of the right spots and making Sam go crazy and then he was repeating the action and just driving Sam wild. He was sure that Dean was trying to kill him just so he could revive him and do it all over again. “Dean, please…” he whimpered again, feeling his balls drawing up tight against his body. Dean was growling softly against Sam’s cock and the vibrations were getting to be too much for the young Winchester. “Please…gonna come if you…keep doing that, Dean…please?” Sam warned.

Before Sam could push Dean off him, he was coming, his back arching off the mattress again as he spilled his seed down Dean’s throat. To his surprise, Dean swallowed every drop before pulling off his cock, kissing the tip one last time. “Mmm…you taste good, Sam,” Dean complimented, smiling down at Sam before he captured the young man’s lips once more, letting Sam taste himself on Dean’s tongue. Slowly, he pulled back, moving to sit up on his knees and then sliding up so that he was straddling Sam’s face. His hand was moving lazily over his own dick as he looked down at Sam with a small smile. “Now you do me,” he whispered, biting into his bottom lip as he pressed his cock against Sam’s bottom lip.

If Sam would have said he didn’t want to suck Dean’s cock, he would have been lying because he really, _really_ did. But he was scared. He didn't have any experience sucking cock. Dean had always been the one to suck Sam down when hand jobs just weren't enough for them. Apparently, Dean didn't want to remind Sam of anything that may have been trigger-y and he was waiting for the right moment. He must have thought now was that moment. But Sam was scared. What if he was awful at sucking cock and he just embarrassed himself and made Dean mad? Sam didn’t think he could handle that humiliation. “I don’t…know how,” Sam finally admitted, head turning away from Dean so the temptation was at least out of his face. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

The look on Sam’s face when he admitted that he had no idea what he was doing broke Dean’s heart. It wasn’t like Dean knew all of the details about what John had done to Sam and he thought for sure John would have taken this from Sam, too. The fact that John hadn't was quite the surprise, and Dean was fine with that. Hell, he was more than fine with that; he _loved_ it. The idea of Sam only ever sucking one cock and that cock was his had him growling with pleasure. But Sam didn’t see his inexperience as sexy, apparently, and Dean was determined to fix that. After all, it was his job as Sam’s lover and brother to take care of Sam and teach him the ropes. By the time Dean was done with Sam, he was going to see that he was perfect as far as Dean was concerned.

He gently cupped Sam’s cheek before turning Sam’s head to face him once more, smiling down at his boy. “Shhh…” he whispered, giving his head a small shake. “Don’t worry, baby. I know you don’t know what you’re doing. Let me show you.” Again, he pressed the head of his cock against Sam’s bottom lip, rubbing it along Sam’s lip to get himself wet with Sam’s saliva, his pre-cum leaving a shiny trail over every inch of Sam it touched, causing Dean to growl softly in pleasure. “Just go slow,” he whispered, watching as Sam sucked just the head of his cock into his mouth, using Dean’s technique and tonguing Dean’s slit. “Mmm…yeah, Sam, s’good,” he praised, pushing his hips towards Sam’s face a little further, making sure to move slow so he didn’t force himself into Sam’s mouth before he was ready.

It was a slow and almost painful process, but Sam finally had Dean bottomed out against the back of his throat, Dean’s head tossed back in pleasure as he moaned softly. “Mm…breathe through your nose, baby,” he instructed, feeling Sam’s throat closing up as he began to panic. As soon as Sam started breathing through his nose though, he seemed to be fine, even swallowing around Dean like he had done with Sam. After a few minutes, once Sam got a little more used to him, Dean started moving his hips, fucking Sam’s mouth nice and slow, a prelude for what he was going to do to Sam’s body in a few minutes. “Ungh…yeah Sammy, harder. God baby, please?”

Sam did his best to do what Dean was asking him to, figuring he was doing a pretty good job if the way Dean was moaning and rocking into his mouth was any consolation. However, Dean pulled away from him sooner than Sam had expected, the younger man pushing onto his elbows as he watched Dean reaching for something on the floor beside the bed. “Did-Did I do something wrong?” Sam asked, needing to know if he had so he could avoid the wrongdoing in the future. As Dean’s lover, he wanted to be able to please his brother. If he couldn’t manage that, then he was really no good for Dean.

“No baby, you were great,” Dean whispered as he settled himself onto the bed again, dropping the item he’d grabbed from the bag on the floor onto the bed so he could cup Sam’s face in his hands. “You were better than great; you were amazing,” he corrected, leaning in and pressing his lips to Sam’s softly. “Just didn’t want to cum in your mouth. I have better plans for us, Sammy.” He kissed Sam one more time before he gently pushed his brother onto his back again, repositioning himself so that he was kneeling between Sam’s spread legs. Dean then grabbed the lube that he had pulled from the bag, popping the cap open with his thumb. 

Because Sam hadn't been with anyone in a long while, Dean wanted to be extra careful. Extra lube never hurt anybody as far as Dean knew. He squeezed a decent dollop onto his palm before he stroked himself a few times, using the extra lube to get his fingers slicked up. “Tell me if I’m going too fast or you want me to stop, okay?” Dean instructed, slinging Sam’s left leg over his right shoulder. Dean bit into his bottom lip as his index finger teased Sam’s tight pucker, kissing and nipping along Sam’s left thigh as his lover moaned softly in pleasure.

When Dean’s index finger first breached him, Sam tensed, hissing in a soft breath at the invasion. “Shh…relax baby,” Dean whispered as he ran his free hand down Sam’s belly, softly caressing his lover’s skin. Sam did as he was told and the ache went away a little, Sam figuring that his body would accept any part of Dean easily because he had been so needy for him the last few days. Not that he was complaining, of course. The less pain, the better in his opinion. After all, he’d seen Dean naked before tonight and it wasn’t like he was lacking in the genital region; he was very well proportioned, which was another thing that made Sam kind of nervous. He just hoped that the pain didn’t last long before it was overridden by the inevitable pleasure.

Once he thought Sam was ready for it, Dean added a second finger, scissoring the digits inside Sam slowly, knowing that even with Sam’s body willingly accepting Dean, this was going to hurt a little bit. He hadn’t been with any men, but he’d seen enough porn in the last few months to know that preparation was key. If he went at this too fast, there was a chance he could hurt Sam, and that was the last thing he wanted. After a few more moments, Dean added a third finger, biting into Sam’s thigh a little more roughly, growling possessively to let Sam know he was his, just in case there was any confusion. 

Finally, Dean felt that Sam was ready for his cock and he pulled his fingers away from Sam, moving to sit on his knees once more. “Are you ready baby?” Dean asked softly, leaning over Sam and pressing his face into the crook of the younger man’s neck, breathing in his brother's scent before he kissed his skin. 

Was he ready? That was the dumbest question Sam had ever heard. Of course he was ready! “Mmm-hmm…” he mumbled, nodding slightly as Dean kissed his way to Sam’s shoulder. Now there was nothing that could stop them from having sex, which is just what Dean wanted. He kept his movements slow as he pushed into Sam, kissing and nipping at the younger man's lips to distract him from the pain that he was feeling. Soon, it would all be replaced with pleasure, but until then, Dean wanted to help in any way he could. Sure, it wasn’t a lot, but it was at least something.

As Dean pushed into him, Sam gripped his brother's shoulders, focusing on the kisses and not the pain that was shooting up his spine. Thankfully, once Dean was sheathed to the hilt inside him, the pain didn’t last long, fading away quickly and leaving only pleasure and a deep feeling of want. Sam quickly hooked his leg around Dean’s thigh, keeping his lover in place as his kisses grew hungrier and needier. “Dean, please…fuck me,” Sam whispered desperately, already pushing back against Dean’s cock inside him. “Please?”

It would have been cruel of Dean not to give Sam what he needed, especially when he was begging so prettily, so Dean began moving. He pulled his hips back, almost pulling completely out of Sam before he slammed back in, the bed rocking with their movements as they became more desperate and rougher. The way Sam was panting and moaning in his ear was enough to drive Dean crazy, kicking his lust up a few notches. Just as he felt his balls drawing up against his body, Dean let out a loud groan, head dropping to the crook of Sam’s neck as he sank his teeth into the tender flesh, marking Sam as his own. As Dean bit Sam, they both came _hard_ , their bodies shuddering with the intensity of their combined orgasms.

When he finally released Sam’s skin from between his teeth, he was surprised he hadn't drawn blood, barely remembering to roll off Sam before he collapsed onto the mattress. He hadn't meant to bite Sam so hard, but he had gotten a little carried away, he supposed. “Mmm…” he moaned as he rolled onto his side, arm wrapping around Sam’s waist, not caring that he was coating his arm with Sam’s cum. “M'sorry. Didn't mean to bite you that hard. Are you okay?" He could already see the bruise forming on his brother's neck and he could just kick himself. There was no way they were going to be able to hide that from Bobby.

At this point, all Sam was capable of was a small nod to let Dean know that he was fine. Hell, he'd actually liked the animalistic behavior that his brother had exhibited as they came. It was fucking hot! His eyes were slipping closed before he even knew what was happening, the young man falling into a light sleep in the arms of his brother and now lover. Sam just wanted to enjoy this peaceful bliss he felt in this moment. It was perfect.

**~~**

“So, you mean to tell me that Bobby Singer took your boys from you and he’s been keeping them locked away in his house for the last four years?” Tim asked, chugging another mug of beer as John nodded. “That just ain’t right.” Tim, Steve, and Reggie had been in the bar with John for about an hour and a half and all three men were well on their way to being drunk. And when the three of them got drunk, nothing good ever came from it.

A small smile came to John’s lips as he watched the other hunters knock back drink after drink. He figured after a few more, they would be inclined to do what he wanted them to without question and then he would finally be able to have the one thing he’d wanted since it was stolen away from him four years ago – he’d have Sam. Of course, he knew it was going to be a challenge and there was no way he was going to get to the younger man on his own, which is why he was calling in reinforcements. And who cares if they weren’t being told the whole truth? They didn’t need to know every little detail about why Sam and Dean had fled. All they needed to know was that John didn’t have his sons and he wanted them back.

Well, he wanted _one_ back. Dean was too much of a threat to him and John knew what had to be done. Of course, he would miss his son once he was gone, but it was the price John was going to have to pay in order to have Sam. And he was willing to make that sacrifice. After all, he knew there was no way he could even get close to Sam without Dean being out of the picture. Then again, if he was enlisting the help of these other hunters, then he was going to have to take Dean with him. But there was no way Dean could take on three men by himself – even if the need to save Sam kept the adrenaline pumping in his body. 

John was going to win. All these years, he knew it would only be a matter of time before he got his son back. And it was going to be happening sooner rather than later, it appeared. Taking another chug from his own beer, John asked hopefully, “So, are you guys saying you’ll help me get my boys back?”

Another wide smile came to John’s lips when all the men nodded, letting him know they were on his side. This was the moment he had been waiting for. “Okay, great. I really appreciate this guys,” he thanked, though he honestly was only doing it for show. He would have figured out something else if these men hadn’t been willing to help him. “I think I may have figured out how to get them back, but there was just no way I could have done it by myself.”

Taking another drink, John all but slammed the mug onto the table as he leaned in closer to the group to keep prying ears from listening in. “So, here’s what I’ve come up with,” he started, making sure to tell everyone what their jobs were and how this was going to go down if they wanted it to work. John couldn’t have any errors – there was just no room for them. He wanted everything to go perfectly. After all, if he didn’t get Sam back with this plan, then there was no way he would ever get the chance to try again. If he failed now, this was it.

But he wasn’t letting himself think like that. In a few days, he was finally going to have Sam back where he belonged – with John in his bed. Dean would be a distant thought in the kid’s head and that’s the way it was supposed to. Smiling once everyone knew the plan, John leaned back and ordered another round, already celebrating the victory he knew he had coming to him in a few nights.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean was officially hungry. He’d let Sam sleep for about an hour and a half and now he wanted food. The younger boy could sleep when they got back if he wanted to, but right now, Dean wanted to eat and he wasn’t going to let his brother stop him. “Sammy, c’mon baby, get up,” he mumbled, giving his brother a small shove. “I wanna eat. M’hungry.”

A small groan escaped Sam when Dean nudged him, the younger boy batting his brother’s hand away as he cuddled in closer to Dean’s side. “Five more minutes,” he argued sleepily, slinging his arm over Dean’s waist. He hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep the night before because he had been up on his computer researching the best ways to please your partner – not that it had done him any good – and now he just wanted to relax. Dean could eat without him if he was that hungry.

“No, Sam, now,” Dean ordered, gently pushing Sam’s arm off him as he stood, grabbing his clothes. He didn’t like to be so demanding with the younger boy but when Sam acted like a child who always got his way, Dean needed to be a bit firm. Buttoning his pants, Dean quickly yanked his shirt over his head, frowning down at Sam. “Sammy, get up. If you’re not up and dressed by the time I’m out of the bathroom, I’m leaving you here.” With that, Dean headed into the bathroom, taking care of his business and brushing his teeth. They really should shower, but he just didn’t want to take the extra time.

Of course, there was no way he was leaving Sam alone. Sure, he’d used it as a threat, but that didn’t mean anything. Sam didn’t get left alone – period. Hell, after the incident that happened last time Dean was out without Sam, he didn’t even get left alone with Bobby in the house. Dean had to have Sam with him at all times. He just didn’t trust anyone else to take care of his baby brother. And for good reason. Sam had a tendency to do stupid things when he was left alone because he was pissed off at Dean for leaving him.

Before Dean even had a chance to rinse his toothbrush free of toothpaste, Sam was slamming into the bathroom and scooting around him to the toilet. “Jesus, Sammy, you couldn’t wait?” Dean griped, turning his face away from Sam to give the younger boy some privacy. They basically live out of each other’s back pockets, sure, but that didn’t mean they watched each other take a leak. That would have just been odd. 

Smiling slightly, Sam gave his shoulders a shrug, tucking himself back into his jeans once he’d done his business. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” Sam answered, obviously not caring that he just whipped his dick out in front of Dean. Moving to the sink, Sam pushed Dean’s toothbrush away with his wrist so he could have the water, smiling when Dean shot him an annoyed look. Once his hands were washed, he moved out of the bathroom, waiting by the door for his brother. “C’mon Dean, I thought you were hungry!” he teased, smirking softly once more when Dean shot him another glare.

As soon as Dean was done brushing his teeth, they started heading down the stairs. “Hey Dean, can I drive?” Sam asked, looking at his brother hopefully. Bobby had been teaching him the basics of driving in one of the old cars, but it wasn’t enough. Sam was never going to learn if he wasn’t allowed behind the wheel of a car more than twice a week. “Bobby’s been teaching me, but it’s not enough. Can you teach me?” After all, he spent more time with Dean than he did with Bobby.

Although he loved Sam more than anything, the thought of someone who wasn’t experienced behind the wheel of his baby made Dean a little queasy. “Uh, I don’t think so Sammy,” he answered with a shake of his head. “Not tonight. I’ll take you out in one of Bobby’s old cars tomorrow. Maybe once you’ve got a little more experience under your belt, I’ll let you drive my baby.”

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother’s insane behavior when it came to his car. Seriously, he treated that thing better than he treated most people. “Okay,” he muttered, grabbing his jacket before he headed out the door and plopped into the passenger seat of the Impala. He wasn’t too disappointed about not being able to drive. After all, Dean had promised that they could go out tomorrow with one of Bobby’s cars, so it wasn’t like Dean was completely blowing him off, or anything. Besides, he didn’t really want to drive the Impala. If he messed something up during his learning process, Dean would definitely flip out and he didn’t want to be on the other end of that heated conversation.

When Dean got into the car, Sam scooted closer, smiling innocently at his brother when he placed his hand on Dean’s thigh. He wasn’t going to do anything, but he just wanted the contact. Dean knew that he didn’t like not being able to touch him when they were together. That’s why Sam spent most of his time in his room when Bobby was around. They were keeping this relationship of theirs to themselves for the time being, so Sam needed to keep himself on a short leash. And that meant he couldn’t just relax with Dean while Bobby was around because he knew that he would slip up.

It got Sam to thinking a lot about leaving. Sure, he was still in school and everything, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t leave Bobby’s place. He and Dean could get a motel room close by and still keep in contact with the older hunter. He just didn’t want to be in the same house with him because it meant he didn’t have Dean all to himself. And more than anything, he wanted Dean to himself. So it was definitely something that he could play around with – talk to Dean about when they weren’t doing anything else.

The diner wasn’t too far from Bobby’s place, only about a five minute drive. When they got there, Sam climbed out of the car and waited for Dean to do the same before he headed into the diner, picking them a booth in the back where he knew Dean liked to sit. He smiled at the waitress when she came over to take their drink orders, gladly taking the menu she offered. He was in a good mood. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, it usually lasted for a few days, which was nice. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case today because as soon as the waitress brought their drinks back, Sam noticed that her eyes were lingering too long on his brother. Dammit, why couldn’t people just leave Dean alone – he was _Sam’s_. No one else could have Dean because he’d already called dibs and he wasn’t going to let anyone else have him. Taking a sip of his drink, Sam frowned, figuring that there was only one way to stop the waitress from shamelessly flirting with Dean in front of him. “Excuse me,” he piped up, waving at the waitress a bit to get her attention. “I ordered a regular _Pepsi_ , and this is diet.”

His plan worked and the waitress, Becky, quickly left to fix her mistake. Honestly, it hadn’t been diet, but she didn’t have to know that. Now that they were alone, Sam glared at his brother, waiting for Dean to put the pieces together and apologize for the way he had been encouraging her to flirt. Seriously, Sam didn’t even know why they went out anymore. Every time they left Bobby’s house for anything together, someone would hit on Dean and it would only make Sam mad. And he had been in a good mood today, too!

A deep frown came to Dean’s lips when Sam looked at him like that, the older man knowing what this was about. He wasn’t going to get into this with Sam right now. Sighing, he shook his head, grabbing his own drink and taking a long chug. “Don’t start, Sammy,” he warned, fixing Sam with a stern look of his own. “We were just talking. You know I don’t want to be with anyone other than you.”

Snorting out a laugh, Sam snapped back, “You should tell her that.” Leaning over the table a little more so that he was closer to Dean, he continued, “She was _flirting_ with you, Dean! And you just let her do it. I mean, she’s practically fucking you with her eyes and if her shirt was cut any lower, she would fall out of it!” God, Sam hated women who threw themselves at Dean. He was hot! Yeah, everyone knew that! But that didn’t mean he was fucking _available_!

“You’re overreacting,” Dean assured his brother, trying to calm the situation down before it got out of hand. “She’s just being polite. She lives off her tips, you know.” Of course, Dean knew that she was flirting with him, but he wasn’t going to openly admit that and prove Sam right. The kid was already having a hissy fit right now just sitting here with the idea of her flirting. “Now calm down. You can’t act like this every time we leave the house and try to have a night out.”

Oh, Dean thought this was bad? Sam could be so much worse if he wanted to be. “Fine, let me sit on that side of the booth with you then,” Sam suggested, already starting to slide out of his seat so he could sit next to Dean. His brother stopped him, though causing Sam to frown. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he muttered, shoving Dean’s hand off his own. “Do you want to be with her instead, Dean? Should I leave the two of you alone for a few minutes so you can get your rocks off? Maybe I should just go to the bathroom and let her fuck you in the alley out back and then we can have dinner!”

He hated it when Sam acted this way. But it wasn’t like he could get mad at him. It was part of the disease he suffered from. Dean knew all about that damn disease. He’d done more research on Obsessive Love Disorder in the last few months than he had ever done on any of his school projects. Sam _always_ accused him of wanting to cheat and Dean could never yell because it wasn’t Sam’s fault. It really pissed him off. “You know I don’t want that!” he snapped, eyes locking and holding Sam’s gaze. “Sam, you know that if I wanted to be with someone else, I would be. I want to be with you. Now quit it. And look through the menu so you’re ready to order when she comes back.”

Although Sam could still feel jealousy bubbling inside him, he did as he was told, glancing through the menu for what he wanted to eat. Becky came back a few minutes later with Sam’s drink and they both ordered. She lingered for a few extra seconds trying to get Dean’s attention, but his brother kept the conversation short, giving her a small, sad smile. Sam was grateful when she finally left because he had been about to spill his drink on her. She really needed to get it through her head. Dean was taken.

Anger bubbled inside Sam as he watched Becky move back to the kitchen and giggle with her friends – undoubtedly talking about the hot guy that was sitting in her section. Angrily, Sam stood, frowning down at his brother when Dean grabbed his wrist. “I have to go to the bathroom, Dean,” he explained, tugging his wrist away. “I’ll be right back. It’s fine.” He wasn’t sure if Dean had grabbed him because he didn’t want him to go off on his own, or if he was worried that Sam was only leaving because he was mad. Sam really did have to pee, though.

Dean didn’t believe that Sam had to go to the bathroom again. He’d just gone before they left like twenty minutes ago. “You have to go to the bathroom again?” he asked, brows rising. “Seriously Sammy, you just went. Maybe you should get your prostate checked.” Dean waggled his eyebrows at the suggestion, smiling slightly when Sam playfully slapped him on the shoulder. It seemed like they were at least getting back into the normal swing of things, hopefully. At least until Becky came back, anyway.

As soon as Sam got into the bathroom, he splashed cool water on his face, trying to get himself to calm down. He didn’t want to be angry and ruin their night, so he figured if he could get himself to calm down, he might be able to save the evening. After all, they weren’t going to stay here all night. They were going to eat dinner and then they were going to go back to Bobby’s place where they could goof off some more hopefully before the older man came back from his date.

Sighing, Sam moved to one of the urinals, giving it a disgusted look before he pulled his dick out of his pants and did his thing. Just as he was drying his hands, someone grabbed him from behind, a large hand moving to cover Sam’s mouth and nose. Something sweet hit his nose before the overwhelming scent of something rotten covered the sweetness. Sam knew that smell – it was chloroform. 

He was in trouble. Sam knew that. He needed to get away. If he didn’t get away, he might not have the chance to ever get back to Dean and that just wasn’t something he was willing to let happen. Pulling his legs up, Sam kicked the wall, sending both himself and his attacker flying back into the door to one of the stalls. Fortunately, it threw his attacker off guard and Sam was able to bolt to the bathroom door, but it was locked from the outside. “No, no, no, please, no!” Sam yelled, roughly pulling at the door in his attempt to get out. 

Laughter from behind him had Sam turning, his eyes widening when his father’s face came into view. Shit, this was bad! Turning back towards the door, Sam started yanking on the handle again, pounding at the door in hopes that someone would realize it was locked and save him from the madman that was looking to hurt him again. Banging on the door, Sam shouted, “Dean! Dean, please, I’m locked in!”

When John grabbed him this time, Sam was ready for it, yanking his arm away and throwing a punch towards his father’s body. But the chloroform had made him a little woozy and he was off his game, so the punch didn’t actually connect with anything. “Dean’s not going to save you this time, boy,” John assured Sam, grabbing the smaller boy around the waist and pressing the chloroform rag over his mouth and nose once more. This time when Sam fought, John was ready for it, making sure to keep the younger man away from anything he could use as leverage to get the upper hand. Dean had obviously taught him a few things, but John was still stronger and he still had more skill.

It didn’t take long for Sam to fall unconscious with the way he was struggling, John quickly loading him into his arms and leaving through the emergency exit located at the back of the restroom so no one would see him leaving. He had Sam loaded up into his truck and he was pulling out of the lot just as he saw Steve pulling the car around to the front so his buddies could load Dean inside, undoubtedly. Everything had worked out just the way he had wanted it to. Finally, things were looking up and working out in his favor.

A small frown came to Dean’s lips when the food came to the table and Sam was still in the bathroom. There were only two reasons he could think of for that; one, Sam was sulking and waiting for the waitress to be gone before he came back out, or two, something was wrong. He decided that he was going to give it a few more minutes before he went off in search of Sam. If the younger man was sulking, then Dean was going to make him stop. And if something was wrong, then Dean was going to fix it.

Just as he was about to get up, two men sat in the booth across from him, causing Dean to tense. He knew these men – they were hunters. Of course, that wasn’t the thing that was making him so uneasy. It was the fact that they were John’s hunting buddies that had him on edge. “Can I help you?” Dean asked, his eyes ticking to the bathroom door in hopes that Sam would come out now and give him a reason to leave. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen before one of the men – Tim, if Dean remembered correctly – started speaking to him.

They had this planned out – Reggie was going to act as a buffer while Tim explained the whole situation to Dean. And Steve was waiting in the car to pick them up once they had Dean restrained so they could get out of here without drawing too much attention to themselves, hopefully. “Dean, we know about what happened with you and Sam,” Tim explained calmly, giving the younger man a small frown. “Now, I want you to come outside with us so we can talk about it. I don’t want to cause any trouble here, all right?”

Dean heard the gun’s safety click off under the table, alerting him that it was there. On the one hand, Dean didn’t want to leave his brother alone in this diner and go out to meet these guys in a dark alley, but on the other hand, it may have been a good idea. If they had a gun, it was better to keep their attention on him and not on his brother who had thankfully stayed in the bathroom. Maybe they didn’t even know Sam was here. “What do you mean you know what happened to me and Sam?” Dean asked, frowning when Tim just stood and started moving towards the door.

Mind made up, Dean headed towards the door, figuring if he used the front exit, Tim and Reggie wouldn’t try anything. Sam would be safe in the bathroom by himself for a few more minutes. Unfortunately, Dean underestimated the two goons and as soon as he was out of the diner, he was shoved into the back seat of a car, the sound of tires squealing ringing in his ears as they drove out of the parking lot – away from Sam.

His first instinct was to fight back. He’d do anything to get back to his brother and make sure he was all right. But logic quickly kicked in and he knew that it would only cause problems. Still, he needed to find a way to make these men listen. If they knew anything at all about what had happened to Sam, they wouldn’t separate them like this and leave his brother vulnerable. “What the hell are you idiots doing?!” he demanded, shoving Reggie’s arm away from him when he tried to stop him from sitting up in the seat. “Where are you taking me?!”

Although Dean wasn’t exactly nice about the way he was speaking to them, Tim supposed it was understood. Bobby probably had the kid’s head full of lies by now about his father, which was why they were taking the Winchester’s by force. After all, it would have been stupid of them to believe that Sam and Dean would walk away with them willingly. Not after being forced to rely on Bobby for protection from some unrealistic evil for the last four years. “Somewhere safe,” Tim assured Dean. “Away from that hack Bobby Singer who kept you and Sam away from your father for all these years. Don’t worry, Dean. We know the whole story. John told us what happened. We’re gonna make sure that Bobby can never hurt you again.”

Fear coiled around Dean’s heart and made his breathing kick up. Shit, John had gotten to them. “No, you have to take me back!” Dan argued. “Now! You don’t understand! John _lied_ to you! Sammy and I left because he was hurting Sam! Bobby never _took_ us!” The fear quickly morphed into anger when no one was listening to him and Reggie tried to shove him back against the seat again. “Touch me again and I’ll break your fucking arm!” he threatened, glaring at Reggie. “Listen to me – Sam’s not safe. We left him back at the diner. He was in the bathroom – we have to go back!”

“Sam’s fine, Dean,” Tim assured the younger man. “He’s with John. He’ll be fine. We’re taking you to him right now, as a matter of fact.” He hadn’t realized the extent of the damage Bobby had done to Dean’s head. To make a boy think that his father had been hurting his brother just to make him stay there? And then to make Dean believe that he and Sam had gone to him willingly?! Bobby was a lot further gone than Tim would have thought the last time he saw the old man. Maybe the stress of not having a family of his own was finally weighing on him and he just snapped.

All of the color drained from Dean’s face when Tim explained that John had Sam. _John had Sam._ It ran through his mind like a mantra. He needed to get his brother back. If John had him for too long, everything would crumble and Sam wouldn’t be able to be brought back this time. Dean didn’t even want to think about it. “Stop the car,” Dean demanded, glaring at Reggie when he pointed the gun at him again. “Stop the car, now! You don’t have the whole story! I need to get back to my brother!” They were taking him to Sam though. But for all they knew, John told them to wrong location and Sam wasn’t there. After all, it would have been dumb to allow Dean anywhere near him if he had Sam because the last time, Dean had vowed he’d kill the other man. This had to be a false location.

Didn’t have the whole story? Dean was seriously not making any sense. They knew exactly what had happened. John had dropped Sam and Dean off at Bobby’s place while he went on a hunt and when he got back to retrieve his boys, Bobby wouldn’t give them back, and Sam and Dean wouldn’t go with John because Bobby had poisoned their minds or something. But Tim would bite – he was curious as to what Dean was going to say, after all. “And what’s the whole story, kid?” he asked, smirking at Dean in the rear view as Steve continued to drive towards the location they were given. “Why don’t you enlighten us and tell us what you think really happened.”

It wasn’t about what he thought – it was about what he knew. Dean had witnessed it first-hand practically. “He raped Sam,” Dean bit out. “We left because I caught him leaving Sam’s bed one night before he went off on a hunt. So as soon as the bastard left, I grabbed Sam and we high-tailed it to Bobby’s place. And we’ve been staying there with Bobby ever since to stay away from John!” They were fucking idiots, and now Sam was in danger because they listened to the enemy. It wasn’t something that Dean was willing to forgive. “Let me out of this fucking car. Now! I have to go find Sam.”

**~~**

Consciousness slowly came to him, making his head hurt like a sonuvabitch. It was dark and he had no idea where he was, but he knew that he was freezing. The bed under him felt cold and unfamiliar – not the bed that he and Dean usually slept on. And Dean wasn’t sleeping next to him, which was also unfamiliar. Dean knew that Sam wasn’t able to sleep alone, so he stayed in the bed with him until he woke up. Something was obvious amiss because this wasn’t the way Sam was used to waking up.

Slowly, he pushed himself into a seated position, groaning in pain when the movement made his world spin. “D’n?” he slurred out, pressing his index finger and thumb against the bridge of his nose to lessen the headache that was making his brain pound in his ears. He didn’t like this. Sam hated not knowing where his brother was and he just wanted to cuddle with Dean and make his head stop hurting. Dean had all of the good stuff in his duffel and Sam would have done just about anything for some of it. 

Not to mention a drink. His mouth was so fucking dry, it felt like he had been sucking on cotton. “D’n, c’mon, s’not funny. Where are you?” He pushed himself off the bed, but fell immediately back onto the mattress when something caught around his ankle and wouldn’t let up. One look down showed him that he was cuffed to the bed post, causing all of the memories to slam back into him. He started panting out his breaths and he felt like he was going to pass out again.

No, no, no. This wasn’t happening! John couldn’t have him. Not now. Sam wanted to go home. He needed to get out of here before something bad happened to him. Just as he thought he was going to hyperventilate, the door opened, revealing his father. The man was naked from the waist up and he was carrying a box of condoms and lube, a lewd grin on his lips when his eyes landed on Sam. “What are you doing?!” Sam yelled, trying not to show how damn terrified he really was.

The smile didn’t waver as John stepped further into the room, placing the objects in his hands on the table beside the bed. His hand moved to cup Sam’s cheek, the younger man quickly turning his head and snapping his jaw at the older man in an attempt to inflict pain. “Mm…you’ve grown feisty, Sammy,” John praised, pushing his hand against Sam’s chest to roughly shove him back against the bed. “I like that.” Smiling wider, John crawled onto the bed with Sam, locking another cuff around Sam’s wrist and fastening his squirming boy’s arm to the headboard. “We have a lot of time to make up for, boy.”


	10. Chapter 10

Dean groaned in frustration and pain as he crawled out of the car window, glass shards digging into the vulnerable flesh of his belly and sides where his shirt was riding up. Tim, Steve, and Reggie weren’t moving, weren’t breathing from what Dean could tell, but he couldn’t dwell on that right now. He’d been the cause of the car accident that could have possibly killed three people – three hunters – and he’d done it all for Sam. Right now, Dean’s focus had to be on Sam and only Sam. Grabbing the gun sticking out of Steve’s pocket, Dean quickly pushed himself to his feet and started running in the direction of Bobby’s house. 

Eventually, Dean found a car he could highjack and he managed to make it to Bobby’s house by sunrise. His body hurt and he just wanted to get a shower, but he had to let Bobby know what was going on. They needed to find Sam before it was too late. Dean just hoped that Sam had his cell phone on him still, otherwise they were going to be going in blind and just tearing the next few towns apart. Dean didn’t care how long it took or what he had to do – he was getting Sam back.

When Dean got into the house, Bobby still wasn’t back from his date, leading Dean to believe that everything had gone pretty well. He didn’t even have the energy to be happy for Bobby, instead moving to Sam’s laptop and firing the thing up. Once it was ready to be used, Dean quickly logged onto their cell phone provider’s website and got the GPS turned on in Sam’s phone. Luckily, there was still a signal, but Dean had no idea if it would actually lead him to Sam. Still, it was the best he had, so he wasn’t going to pass it up. He quickly scrawled a note on a scrap of paper for Bobby to let the older man know where he was going to be before he grabbed his gun, a knife and the keys to one of the old cars that he’d helped Bobby fix up. 

As soon as he was out of the house and in the car, he sped out of the driveway, pushing the little Cadillac as fast as it could go. Really, he wished he had the Impala, but she was stuck at the diner where he and Sam had been eating and he wasn’t going to make a pit stop. She would be fine for a few more hours. Sam on the other hand – that was a sticky situation. Dean wasn’t sure his brother had a few more hours, which was why he was driving as fast as he could.

There wasn’t time for him to play around anymore. Dean knew that his father wasn’t going to stop. No matter what they did, John wasn’t going to leave Sam alone. He’d probably been stewing for the last four years, planning his attack and waiting for the best possible moment, which proved to Dean just how dangerous his father was – how deep his obsession with Sam went. This time, only one of them was going to make it out of this alive. The winner was going to receive the prize – Sammy.

Just the thought of someone else getting their hands on Sam had Dean pressing his foot against the gas pedal harder, causing the car to accelerate towards his brother’s possible location.

**~~**

Sam gagged as he roughly turned his head, coughing and sputtering as he spit on the floor beside the bed, trying to get the taste of John’s bitter cum out of his mouth. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, his arms hurt from being restrained, and John was all but sitting on his chest, only hindering his ability to breathe even more. Spitting onto the floor once more, Sam groaned as his father gripped his cheeks roughly, forcing him to turn his head so they were face-to-face once more. 

A wide smile came to John’s lips when he saw his son’s cheeks covered in his seed. There was just something so sexy about Sam covered in the evidence of his pleasure. “Wow Sammy, you’ve gotten better at this,” he complimented, running his finger through his cum and stuffing it into Sam’s mouth. “You’ve been practicing for me, son?” 

Without thinking about it, Sam closed his jaws, biting John’s finger hard enough to draw blood. It was satisfying to hear the scream of pain and watch John yank his finger away. Sure, it earned him a hard backhand to the face, but Sam definitely thought that it was worth it. He groaned once more when John gripped his cheeks and forced him to pay attention. “Don’t try something like that again, boy,” John warned. “I’m your father, and you’ll treat me with respect.”

“You’re not my father,” Sam answered boldly, trying to sound braver than he actually felt. “You’re a monster.” Sam had heard Dean say it numerous times, and while it probably wasn’t a good idea to throw it out there now in his current situation, Sam didn’t care. He wasn’t going to pretend that he thought of John as his father anymore. No father would hurt their son in such a way – John wasn’t anything to Sam. “And I feel bad for you. Because when Dean finds me – and he will – you’re not going to like the outcome.”

Again, John smirked at his son’s words. Now he knew where Sam had been practicing. Sure, he thought they were close, but he never would have thought that Sam and Dean would have a physical relationship like that. Apparently, he was wrong. Like father like son. “Is that what you think Sammy?” John asked, pushing himself off the mattress and walking towards the table where he’d laid the lube and condoms when he first came in. “You think Dean’s going to come riding in here on his white horse and save you?” Honestly, Sam had so much confidence in his brother – it kind of pissed John off. Sam never showed that much trust in him. And John was the one who loved Sam conditionally. He loved him more than Dean ever could.

Before he gave Sam a chance to answer, he moved back to the mattress, gripping Sam’s chin and forcing him to keep still as he ravaged his mouth, tongue plundering inside and tasting himself on Sam’s tongue and gums. “Dean’s not going to take you from me again, Sam. I’m not going to let him,” John hissed in his son’s face. “You’re _mine!_ ”

In that moment, Sam could see the determination in his father’s face and it honestly scared him. His eyes were practically crazed when he spoke about Sam being his. He knew that John was never going to stop – he was never going to leave Sam alone. When John climbed on top of him again, Sam struggled, pulling at his restraints and bucking his hips in an attempt to get away. “No,” he ordered, shifting when John tried to touch him. “Don’t do this. Don’t touch me! Dean!”

Chuckling, John exclaimed, “You can yell and scream all you want, Sam. No one can hear you! Especially not that waste of space brother of yours!” Unlocking one of Sam’s legs, John continued, “You know, he’s probably not even going to come after you. He’s probably happy to have you gone, Sam. You’re nothing but a burden to him. I know for a fact all that he ever does when he’s around Bobby alone is complain about how needy you are. How you always need to be around him or you start to get moody. I’d never treat you like that, Sam. I love you too much.”

The words cut like a knife. Sam was already insecure about the way Dean felt about him and hearing John say that Dean complained to Bobby about him only made his insecurities worse. But he wasn’t going to let that get to him. Right now he had to focus on getting out of here and back to Dean. And if he was going to do that, he needed to play things smart. Luckily for Sam, he had a little bit of experience in manipulation. “He does?” Sam asked, biting into his bottom lip and bringing tears to his eyes to add to the look of sadness he was going for.

When John saw how sad his words made his son, he frowned slightly. “Oh Sammy, don’t worry about it,” he coaxed, moving to unlock Sam’s other ankle. He was confident that his son wouldn’t try to escape again. It hadn’t worked the last time, so John didn’t think Sam was dumb enough to try for a second time. And now Sam seemed to be doubting his love for Dean, which was the perfect opportunity for John to swoop in and make Sam see that he was the better one for him. 

Moving so that he was straddling Sam’s hips, John started working the cuffs off Sam’s wrists. He took a moment to lean down and press his lips against Sam’s in a loving manner before he started at them again, a small frown on his lips. “You don’t need Dean,” he assured Sam, shaking his head. “You have all you need right here, Sammy. I love you, and I’m going to take care of you. All you have to do is let me.” He unlatched one of Sam’s cuffs and then the other, smiling as he moved in for another kiss.

As soon as his wrists were free, Sam fought back. His hands came up to grab John’s hair, forcing the older man’s head away from his own so he could escape the intended kiss just as he brought his knee up and hit John in the stomach, hard. Listening to John groan in pain had Sam smirking once more before he shoved John off him and pushed himself off the bed.

At first, he was a little shaky on his feet, but he managed to make it to the door before John caught up with him. Pain flared through his skull when John shoved him against the door, causing his vision to go black for a minute. “Don’t! Let me go!” Sam yelled, trying to get away from John, but to no avail. He wasn’t as strong as the older man and he couldn’t fight him off – not alone. And especially not now that John had a reason to be pissed off because of Sam’s previous actions. 

“You ungrateful little shit!” John hissed in Sam’s ear, shoving the younger man harder against the door. “I was willing to give you everything you could have possibly wanted. I love you like no one else ever could, Sam! But no, you had to go and ruin it for some piece of trash like Dean!” Chuckling harshly, John yanked Sam’s left wrist, wrenching his arm behind his back so he didn’t have use of it in case he tried something stupid again. “Fucking Dean! He doesn’t even care about you, Sam! He only treats you the way he does because I always told him to watch out for you! If _I_ hadn’t done that, Dean wouldn’t give a damn about you!”

Sam started to panic when his arm was pinned behind his back, feeling the bones in his wrist grinding together. He wasn’t going to be able to get out of this. And he had a feeling that he couldn’t count on Dean to save him in time. After all, how was Dean going to know where they were? John had left Sam’s phone on the side of the road somewhere so it wasn’t like Dean could trace his location that way. And honestly, Sam wasn’t even sure if Dean knew how to work a computer for anything other than porn. So he knew that John was going to rape him again, and there was nothing he could do about it. “You don’t love me!” Sam argued, trying to stall as long as he could. “You’re not capable of love. If you loved me, you wouldn’t force yourself onto me like this. You wouldn’t hurt me! If you loved me, you wouldn’t have taken my innocence away like you did and turned me into a freak!”

Angrily, John shoved Sam against the door again, a loud crack sounding in the room as Sam’s head connected with the hard metal once more. Sam collapsed like a sack of bricks this time, John catching the younger boy before he could hit the ground. “You’ll understand why I did those things to you Sammy,” he assured his son’s unconscious body. “Sooner or later, you’ll realized it was because I loved you.” Sighing, he carried Sam back to the bed and bound him once more, waiting for him to wake back up.

**~~**

God dammit! Dean had been chasing his tail for the last forty minutes. Sam’s phone was on the side of the road, scratched to hell and back. And Sam was nowhere in sight. He was no closer to finding Sam than he had been when he left Bobby’s house. Growling in frustration, he pulled his phone from his pocket, flipping through his contacts to find the number he had swiped from Tim’s phone for John Winchester before he left the scene of the crash. He wasn’t sure why he’d taken the number, but there was something in the back of his mind telling him to take it, and now he was glad that he had.

Committing the number to memory, Dean climbed back into the car and started driving back to Bobby’s house. He needed the computer and it wasn’t like he could do much of anything out in the middle of nowhere here. As he was driving however, he received a phone call. “Bobby, hey,” he greeted, a small smile on his lips. “How did your date go?” He wanted to go for casual conversation because he wasn’t sure if Bobby had gotten his note yet and he didn’t want to worry the man unnecessarily. After all, he was going to be at his house again in forty minutes, so there was no need to tell Bobby over the phone. 

Of course, he quickly regret trying to go for casual when Bobby growled into the phone, “Don’t ask me about my date when yer brother is missin’, boy!” He’d gotten the note as soon as he came in and now he was ready to help. With Sam in John’s hands, the boy was almost as good as dead if they didn’t find him in time. “Do you have any idea where he might have taken Sam?”

If he had an idea, he wouldn’t be in the shit heap that he was in now. “No,” Dean answered with a resigned sigh. “I tracked the GPS on his phone, but it led me to an open field and there’s nothing here. John must have tossed it out of the car, or something.” Again, Dean sighed. “I was going to head back to you and try to track the number I swiped from Tim’s phone, maybe find them that way.”

“Don’t worry about comin’ back to me,” Bobby answered, shaking his head although he knew Dean couldn’t see it. “Give me the number. I’ll track it and let you know where to go.” He listened carefully as Dean read off the number for him, typing it into Sam’s laptop and waiting for John’s location to show up on the screen. He’d already located Dean’s phone while they were chatting earlier so he knew where the other boy was as well. “Good news is, you’re not far from him. Just about a hundred miles.”

Clicking through to a new window, Bobby viewed the map of the area where John’s cell phone was pointing to, a small frown on his lips. “There’s an abandoned warehouse on tenth street,” he explained to Dean. “I’d be willing to bet my life that he’s got Sam there.” Bobby didn’t even want to think about all of the horrible things that John might have been doing to Sam in that warehouse. He could only hope that Dean got to them before it was too late.

Dean didn’t bother to say goodbye, simply ending the call and speeding off in the direction of the warehouse Bobby told him about. He’d been out to that place once on a hunt with John, so he knew exactly where it was. And he knew every way inside, even better than John because it had been his job to secure the perimeter; he was going to get Sam back even if it killed him. Pressing his foot down harder on the gas, Dean rode the crappy little Cadillac as hard as it would go, once again wishing for the Impala right about now.

It took him about forty five minutes to get to the warehouse, Dean cutting the engine and hiding the car in the bushes a few miles back so John didn’t hear him coming. He just hoped that when he got to Sam, he could get a good shot. Dean knew John, and he knew that the older man would use his brother as a shield if he had to in order to get away. But Dean wasn’t going to let John get away this time. He’d done that once – he wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

Using the back door, Dean gently pushed it open, hearing voices from below the balcony he had stepped onto. His blood boiled as he listened to Sam begging their father not to touch him. He wanted to blow his cover right now and kick the shit out of John, but he knew he couldn’t. If he wanted this to work, he had to be strategic. But he would be damned if he was going to let John get his filthy fucking hands on Sam again. Silently, he made his way to the stairs, starting down them quietly, gun held tightly in his right hand.

Sam squirmed in his bindings once more, trying to get out of the cuffs. His attempt at an escape hadn’t really panned out all that well, and now Sam was trying to think of a plan B. If John raped him again, Sam knew there was no way he could come back from it this time. Last time, he had Dean to pull him out from the rubble, but this time, he couldn’t go back to him. Sam was sixteen now – he should be able to fight John off. Instead, he was chained to a bed waiting for the inevitable to happen because there was no escape in sight. 

When he had woken up again after being knocked unconscious when his first attempt at escape failed, Sam had promised himself he wasn’t going to beg – now, he was thinking maybe he wasn’t above it. “Don’t do this to me,” Sam pleaded, shaking his head as tears welled up in his eyes, spilling over his cheeks and sliding into his hair. “You can just let me go. Dean and I won’t look for you, I swear. I can make sure of it!”

A small frown came to John’s lips as he listened to Sam all but pleading him to stop what he had already planned on doing. He’d had this planned out for years now. John was going to get Sam back and then he was going to make him see that they were meant to be together and everything was going to be fine. His plan wasn’t exactly working the way he had hoped though. Instead, Sam was insisting on fighting him at every turn and John was getting pissed.

Angrily, he turned his full attention to Sam, giving his head a small shake. “Don’t you understand that I just want to love you, Sammy?” he asked, his expression pained. “I just want you to see that you and I are meant to be together. Not you and Dean. He’s not right for you.”

Just as Sam was about to answer John, his eyes landed on Dean. Oh God, his brother was here – he was saved! He opened his mouth to call out to Dean, but quickly snapped it shut once more at Dean’s index finger pressing against his lips, signaling Sam to keep his mouth shut. Sam almost couldn’t believe it. Dean had the best timing ever! He just had to keep John’s attention on him long enough to give his brother time to get down the stairs and reach him. “And you think you’re right for me?” Sam asked, his anger peeking through his tone although he hadn’t really intended for it to. “You raped me when I was eleven years old; were touching me years before that, and now you want me to think of you as someone I could love?!”

Scoffing, Sam shook his head. “You’re messed up. You’re sick,” he spat, tugging on his bindings once more. “I will never love you the way I love Dean – at all for that matter. You lost the privilege of my love when you forced yourself on me when I was just a kid!”

The anger that he was feeling had finally bubbled over, John growling as he moved towards Sam, hand gripping the younger man’s chin forcefully. “You _liked_ it!” he hissed, releasing Sam with a jerk of his wrist. Quickly, John’s hands moved to his pants, unzipping the fly and reaching inside, tugging his semi-hard cock out of opening. “I’ll make you remember, Sam,” he threatened, climbing onto the mattress with his son and straddling Sam’s waist.

Just as John was about to shove Sam’s thighs apart, he froze, the sound of the safety being taken off of a pistol motivation enough to do so. Slowly, he turned to face the new arrival, anger causing his blood to boil. “Why don’t you put that thing away before you get hurt, boy?” John suggested, glaring at Dean. He wasn’t going to let him have Sam without a fight. Honestly, he was kind of impressed with how quickly Dean had found them. He’d gone to great lengths to make sure they were hidden. “Where are Tim and the guys, Dean?”

Completely ignoring John’s question, Dean ordered, “Get off of him.” He had been mentally preparing for this for years. Honestly, Dean was ready to pull the trigger right now, but he wasn’t going to risk Sam. “Now!” he yelled when John didn’t do as he was told to. As John climbed off Sam, Dean kept his gun trained on him, his hand surprisingly steady although he was shaking inside. 

Thankfully, John was smart enough to do as he was told, his hands up in a motion of surrender as he climbed off Sam’s body and turned towards Dean. “What are you gonna do, boy?” John asked, frowning at Dean. He didn’t really believe his own flesh and blood would shoot him. “Are you gonna shoot me, son? Could you kill your own father, Dean?” John was willing to bet that Dean wasn’t man enough to pull that trigger.

There wasn’t a doubt in Dean’s mind that he would shoot his father in order to protect Sam. He had learned a long time ago that he was willing to go to great lengths in order to keep his brother safe – sometimes to the point where it scared him a little. Motioning towards Sam with his gun, Dean ordered, “Get him outta those things.” He watched carefully as John slowly released Sam from his bindings, Dean licking his lips as he held his arm out towards his brother, silently ordering Sam to get over there.

As soon as Sam was free, he rolled off the mattress in the opposite direction that John was standing, quickly moving towards his brother’s outstretched arm. Words couldn’t describe how safe and warm he felt when Dean’s arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him close against his chest. Sam was naked, but he didn’t care as long as he was safe in his brother’s arms. “Do it, Dean,” Sam pleaded, pulling back slightly so he could lock eyes with his brother. “He’s not going to stop. You have to shoot him. It’s the only way to end this right now, Dean.”

Although a part of him knew that Sam was right and he had been prepared to shoot John when he came in here, hearing his brother cheer him on, Dean lost his nerve. What kind of role model was he being by shooting a man down in cold blood? Sure, John needed to be dealt with, but Dean wasn’t a murderer. The only way he had ever thought about killing a human was when that person was being used as a meat suit. And even then he felt horrible about it. But John wasn’t possessed – he was just a sick fuck who belonged behind bars. And Dean was sure he could have that arranged.

“Get your clothes, Sam,” Dean whispered softly, keeping the gun trained on John while Sam grabbed his pants and his T-shirt. Quickly, Sam dressed, keeping his eyes on the two men in the room with him the whole time. Motioning towards the cuffs still attached to the bedposts, Dean commanded, “Get those off of there and cuff yourself. Hurry up.” When John didn’t do as he was told, Dean squeezed the trigger a little, just to let John know that he was serious.

Once John was cuffed, Dean led them out of the building, shoving John into the back of the Cadillac, checking him over to make sure that he didn’t have anything on him that he could use to get out of his binds. Satisfied that he was secured, Dean climbed into the driver’s seat, eyes swinging to Sam in the passenger seat briefly. He needed to get them away from here before he made sure that Sam was alright. The longer they stayed here, the more time they were giving John to devise a plan of escape. 

After driving a few miles down the road, Dean could tell that Sam was upset about something. Turning his attention from the road briefly, Dean frowned at his brother, one hand moving to push a strand of Sam’s shaggy hair behind his ear. “Are you okay Sammy?” he asked softly, eyes darting from the road then back to Sam. After all, he didn’t want to wreck the car. 

Sam scooted closer to the door when Dean touched him, the younger man pissed off at his brother for what he was doing. “Stop the car,” Sam ordered, wanting to get out and take a minute for himself. John should be dead right now. Not in the back of their car being taken to wherever the hell Dean was planning on dumping him. His brother should have pulled that damn trigger, and he hadn’t! John had almost raped him again and Dean wasn’t going to get rid of him?! That’s not what Dean had promised the last time they saw John. His anger only grew when Dean didn’t immediately do as he was told. “Stop the car, or I will,” he added, shoving the door open and starting to get out before Dean even fully stopped.

It was understandable that Sam was mad, but they didn’t have time for this. John was a manipulative, sneaky bastard and there was a chance he’d already figured out another way out of his cuffs that hadn’t crossed Dean’s mind. And sure, he hadn’t been able to shoot him back at the warehouse, but that didn’t mean he wanted him to go running off and getting away so he could come after Sam again. Dean was going to feel a lot better once John was behind bars where he belonged. “What the hell, Sammy?” Dean asked, his anger getting the best of him. “Why’d you wanna stop?”

Turning towards Dean, Sam hissed, “Why are we driving around with him, Dean? He should be a fucking corpse back in that warehouse! You have no idea what he was trying to do to me!” Well, Sam supposed that wasn’t true. Dean had to have had some kind of idea, but he couldn’t imagine how Sam felt now that Dean hadn’t finished the job. “You said that you were going to kill him if he tried something like this again, Dean. And he almost had his way! But you’re not doing anything about it!”

Angrily, Dean answered, “I’m taking him to the fucking cops, Sam! He needs to be behind bars!” Seeing that Sam was going to try to protest, Dean quickly shushed him, his finger pressed against Sam’s lips. “He’s human, Sam. Sure, he’s a poor excuse for one, but he’s still human. We don’t kill humans unless we have to. That includes him.”

Sure, Dean had a point, but Sam wanted John dead. It was the only way he was going to feel safe. “Don’t you get it, Dean?” Sam asked, tears in his eyes as he gave his brother the patented puppy eyes that always seemed to work on him. “He’s not going to stop. He’ll never leave me alone. John told me that himself! He’s got some sick, twisted obsession with me. And if you think that a jail cell is going to keep him from me, you’re wrong.” Moving closer to Dean, Sam gripped his brother’s shirt and crushed their lips together. “The only way this is going to end – the only way I’m going to feel safe again – is if he _can’t_ hurt me.” Pulling Dean’s gun out of his waistband, Sam pushed it against Dean’s chest. “You know what you have to do, Dean. Please?”

The pain and fear in Sam’s eyes was obvious. Honestly, Dean knew that Sam was right – deep down, he knew John wasn’t going to stop. It had been four years and he hadn’t stopped. He’d just been lying in wait, hiding – hoping for the right moment when he could rise up and get at Sam. Swallowing thickly, Dean’s fingers wrapped around the gun, his eyes locking with Sam’s. Really, what got Dean to make up his mind was the fact that Sam didn’t feel safe. It was Dean’s job to keep his brother safe, and if this was how he had to do it, then he was going to do just that.

Not thinking too hard on what he was about to do, Dean tugged Sam closer, crushing their lips together once more. He pulled back soon after, pressing his lips to Sam’s forehead before he released his brother and walked the short distance to the car. Yanking the door open, Dean pointed his gun at John’s head, pulling the trigger and watching as the bullet shot between John’s eyes. It was over – finally, Sam could feel safe again.

**~~**

Once they had disposed of the body, Dean drove them back to the diner where they ditched the bloody Cadillac and got back into the Impala. Bobby had been curious about what had taken place, but Sam and Dean weren’t giving out any information, preferring to keep the whole ordeal to themselves, telling Bobby they would explain everything later. It was late by the time they got back, so they were able to use the excuse that they were tired for now. Dean knew Bobby would bring it up again and he’d eventually have to tell him everything, but he was glad for the reprieve at least for this evening.

Sam didn’t waste any time once they were in their room to attack Dean, lips crushing against Dean’s as his hands pulled at Dean’s clothes. The sex was almost animalistic, Sam showing his appreciation for what Dean had done to John and making Dean feel fucking amazing. When they both climaxed together, Sam rolled off his brother, one leg swung over Dean’s hip as he rested his head on Dean’s shoulder. “Mmm…you’re amazing,” he whispered, lips trailing wet kisses over Dean’s chest and shoulder. “What you did today…to keep me safe – I knew you wouldn’t just let him walk away after what he did to me.” Kissing Dean’s cheek, Sam closed his eyes snuggling into his brother’s warm embrace. “G’night, Dean. I love you.”

Although Sam seemed to be pleased about what had gone down today, Dean just couldn’t get on board with it. He’d killed a person. Sure, John had been lower than the scum of the Earth, but he was still human. But he’d known that the lengths he would go to in order to keep Sam were way out of the normal range, so this shouldn’t have bothered him so much. Sighing, Dean rubbed his hand along Sam’s back, already starting to feel better by just having the solid weight of Sam against him.

Today, Dean had almost lost his brother. And so what – John had died in the process of getting Sam back as well as Tim and his crew possibly. They’d deserved it! No one was going to take Sam away from him, and that was that! Rolling onto his side so he could hold Sam better, Dean pressed his lips against Sam’s shoulder, pulling him closer when Sam moaned in his sleep. Dean was over protective of Sam and maybe he was kind of a ticking time bomb when it came to keeping his brother safe, but he didn’t care. Sam was his – and he’d kill anyone who tried to take Sam away from him.


End file.
